First, I am SO sorry you have to go through that. I think we all have at some point, but it makes me sad that others have to experience it too. Especially since you work too.
My husband said he was scared.. blah blah. And I ate it for a little bit believing him and it comes down to the fact he just didn't want to. Anything that was hard, or a "chore" he didn't want to do.
I suggest counceling. I understand that may not be feasable in a hectic work environment, but that is just what needs to be done.
He will never fully understand the scope of how you feel until he is in your shoes. You are also still going through physical changes ad emotional changes and he is going to have to accept that.
I very literally went three days straight with two hours sleep having a 1 year old and one month old, suffered from migraines, and when I mentioned I wanted to take a nap the day after Christmas he put my one month old in the bedroom with me and asked if I could watch her while I slept because she was sleeping too. It was the stupidest thing I had ever heard.
Naturally I did, and it didn't work out and I've had my moments of explosions. However, one day the tables were turned and he got furious with me. I asked him and he had wanted to sleep, he yelled and ranted and I looked at him funny and then asked if he then understood the rediculousness of his actions and what he expects from me. I then stated his expectations were not only unfair but unreasonable. I am still a person and have needs other than those that fit into the mommy role.
I don't recommend that route as hopefully your husband is a mature and responsible human being who is willing to work through it... but I'm finding they are all children themselves.
His hobbies can wait and he needs to understand it's not because you don't love him, it's because you need time for you too and the time he takes for himself directly affects you in the sense that it puts you on second shift. Basically, you're still at work when he gets off.. ya know.
Same applies for sex. He will expect to sleep afterwards, meanwhile, you will still have to get up feed, change diapers, ect.. It's not fair, but it's just how it is.
A friend of mine reccomeend doing a free day, which means he is in charge of baby all day. From wake up to sleep.
The only rule is that, you can't say or tell him how to do anything with the baby. As mothers we like to say things like, "well i do it this way," or "don't do it like that" or why haven't you:" etc... this makes husbands not want to help.
I hope this helps, and please email me directly if you need to vent. It's been 2 1/2 years in the making and we are finally getting it right, but not after some major obstacles.
Love,
J.