For awhile Ive been struggling to balance my sex drive and my husbands sex drive. I would be happy to have sex nearly everyday but I could be happy with 2 to 3 times a week. My husband on the other hand struggles to have sex with me once a week. When I say struggles...I mean...we implemented a date night for the specific purple of it ending in sex. But I would say about 50% of the time we don't have sex on our date night because hes tired, or not in the mood, or whatever the excuse is for the night. Hes been to his doctor and I told him to has his testosterone levels checked and they came back low. The doctor put him on a Testosterone cream and for awhile things improved, but now they are right back where they started from...testosterone cream or not. Its so hard on me because I feel rejected all the time and I always go to bed wanting more and hes perfectly content which drives me crazy! The other thing is...I know he masturbates 3+ times a week and I don't understand why he would rather be with himself than be with me. Its hurtful. Anyone gotten through a situation like this or is going through this same thing? Any advice?
Edit: Thanks for the couple that have replied so far. A couple of things. He turns me down even IF I'm dressed up. For example: On valentines day I had bought a sexy little red outfit and when it was bedtime I made sure I got in the bedroom a few minutes before him so I could get dressed up for him. I get in bed and wait and when he comes to bed he discovers what I'm wearing and tells me "Oh I didn't know you wanted to have sex tonight". My response was Really? Its Valentines day? He wouldn't have much more of the conversation and pretty much just went to bed. He takes care of himself in the shower in the morning in a different bathroom with the door locked. He doesn't care if I take care of myself in front of him...he will just roll over and go to sleep. If I try to stimulate him with my hands any other time he just takes them off and gives me a look.
As a side note: I don't think hes cheating on me...hes never had a huge drive, but over time its gotten less and less. Hes a great father and I do believe that he loves me. I've thought about going to counseling by myself to help deal with my feelings, but Im not sure how he would take that.
i sort of feel like if it was truly a low sex drive, then he wouldn't feel the need to masturbate 3x per week. he is using that instead of being intimate with you and something is wrong. i think he may be cheating as well. this is a tough one and i feel for you. i hope you find an answer, good luck.
Show attention to him on the 3+ times per week. Join him in fact (help him using your own hand). It may spark a little interest. He shows you and you show him. Men like that sort of thing.
OH boy can I ever relate. :( I have no great words of advice as I still deal with this on a daily basis, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
start off date night with sex or a hand job. Lend him a hand the other times and make sure he returns the favor.
I agree with Michelle C... when he's 'doing the do' to himself, join in, it should get him going a bit more and will certainly turn you on too. Maybe invest in a sexy outfit, a french maid perhaps.. I got mine from Ebay for only £15 and it's really nice, sexy, not ott. So picture this, your hubby is 'doing the do'.. you walk over dressed in a sexy french maids outfit, you 'help him out' .. the whole experience will be both visually stimulating and touchy that you could be in for a great night / day of passion.
You could also pleasure yourself in front of him (in your new outfit) and tell him to come join you, I bet he doesn't hesitate.
If you feel too embarassed to do all of this..just remember your frustration of this whole situation and 'just do it' I can almost guarantee your hubby will respond.
I did it and our sex life is now really good, went from quite boring and not often to very unboring and much more often.
Let us know how it all goes and good luck with it.
I dont know girl...something is wrong. He seems to be cheating.
