My husband just started a job, two days ago, two hours away from our home. So he has to get up around 3:30am to get there by 6am. Now, my problem. Last night our daughter woke up crying, and normally I would check on her and then let her cry herself to sleep. Now that he has to get up early he expects me to stop her from crying, meaning picking her up and soothing her that way. But.....the problem here is, I pick her up and she thinks its time to play. She is not a cuddly baby, I cant rock her to sleep, thats just Breanna! So last night I ended up making a bed on the couch (because we would wake my sleeping husband if we went to my bed) for the two of us and slept with her. If any of you have slept with a 9 month old you know that its not easy. I ended up having to put a table next to the couch, and slept half way on the couch, half on the table. So, should I really have to sacrifice my night of sleep and the comfort of my bed because he has to get up the next day?? I need some suggustions here, because I am a Bear without my sleep! Tonight she is sleeping, but its very normal for her to wake up in the middle of the night and scream her little hiny off. What do we do??
J.,
I found that putting a comfortable full-size bed in my daughter's room helped us both. So when she would get up in the middle of the night we just stayed in her room in her "big-girl" bed. Daddy got his sleep and so did we.
Just a thought!
Good Luck!
Get 2 sound machines one for your room and one for hers. It really has helped my son. It drowns out any out side noise. You can hear your child because of moms intuition and they arent so loud but it might help so she could cry herself back to sleep!
Hi J.,
I've been through this. You should not change your routine as it will make life harder further down the road. I have a 7y and an 18m old. My husband gets up at 2:30-3:00am and leaves the house around 3:30am. We would have harsh words because the kids waking in the night would wake him, and he's a person that needs 7 hours of constant sleep. We were both unhappy, tired and life wasn't fun. The thing that's helped us is that he bought ear plugs. They work great, almost too good as now he never hears them wake up and I'm the one that has to get up.
Good luck,
M.
Hi J.,
It's funny this is the first time I have read two requests from the same person in one week and responded too. But I had to say, someone mentioned ear plugs. You know that is not a bad idea. Maybe have your hubby wear them during the week and have him let you wear them at least one night over the weekend if not two nights so you can get a break to be able to take on the week. I think going back to your other request about Tyler's behavior and all of you needing sleep to be able to have positive behavior all around, it is imperative that you all get some sleep. I say that as I sit here writing this response at 12:30 in the morning and I should be sleeping. :) Good luck, it is so hard to coordinate schedules and sleep. We are all people who need at least 7 hours consecutively. It's just that as women we have convinced ourselves that we are the ones who can deal without it. Maybe your hubby could sleep on the couch and you could sleep with the baby in the bed. The idea of you sleeping with your little one on the couch sounds uncomfortable, let alone unsafe. I hope you find a workable solution so you can get some sleep.
All the Best,
S.
Sorry but tell your husband to get over it. If you start sleeping with your daughter its going to screw her all up. Your daughters well being is more important then his 7 hours of sleep. Tell him if hes going to be like that then he can go sleep somewhere else. I hope that doesn't sound mean but come on?
When my husband worked shifts and had to get up really early, I catered to his sleep... even though I work full-time. Since then, we've added two more children and he has a regular 9-5. Mysteriously, I am still the one who gets up in the middle of the night AND first thing in the morning. To top it off, I now get up at 4:30 to carpool... and I am finishing up my degree online after the kids go to bed. You've got to make your husband suck it up and deal with it. Babies cry in the middle of the night and parents just have to deal with it... even if they work and would prefer to get a good night's sleep.
Another point... do you think it's fair to you or your children that you aren't well rested? I know that the more tired I am, the shorter my fuse is.
You deserve a good night's rest just as much as he does. Take turns getting up with her if you can't stand the thought of her crying herself back to sleep.
Good luck!
Hi J. ~
Try getting your husband some really good ear plugs - the soft kind that block the maximun amount of decimals. I wear them myself because my husband snores. You need to be able to hear your daughter, but your husband can sleep. Or he can sleep on the couch. Either way, you both need your sleep - you just have to get a little creative for this situation. Good luck! ~ K.
My daughter (18 months old) is not a great sleeper. She wakes up almost every night and usually we let her cry herself back to sleep. If she's really screaming, it usually means she's had a nightmare and we know from experience that she won't get herself to sleep. In that case, my husband and I take turns getting her. That way, neither parent has to go without sleep on consecutive nights. In my opinion, stay home moms work just as hard (if not harder!!) than dads that go out to work...so why should you be completely sleep-deprived???
My husband has worked and still does all sorts of strange hours, including having to get up at 4am to go to work for 14 hours straight regularly. Your husband needs to remember that it is not all about him and he is a father....compromising comes with parenthood. Your daughter, like other children, is going to have good nights and bad nights. He needs to deal with it! Sleeping on a couch with your child is not good for you nor your daughter and I can't even believe he was open to you doing this.
I am sure he is a great guy and the adjustment of these new hours will kick in soon - as you said this is a new job. Once his body gets used to it - he will learn to sleep through the night, crying daughter or not. The only downfall is it will be you who will have to deal with your 9 month old while he sleeps :(
Good Luck and stay off the couch/table (haha)
