yeah, I just got off the phone with my husband having a sort of argument about this very issue. I went through post partum after my second child and ended treatment last spring as I was feeling a lot better. Lately I've really been struggling though with the same things you're talking about.
For instance, I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer on a two month special the gym was having. My plan was to go to the gym on the mornings my son was in preschool. Well, my son didn't adjust to preschool and I had to remove him (on the advice of the school -- not just my choice). So, I only made it to the gym for the first month of the program. I lost 6lbs and built up a lot of strength. I was sooo proud of myself!!! It was the first thing I had done just for myself for 3 years, I think. And now I haven't made it back for 3 weeks because my son refuses to stay in the gym daycare. My house is a mess although I clean (at least a little bit) every day. Yesterday my husband "watched" the kids while I cleaned up a flower bed in our front yard. I found out today that while he was supposedly watching them, they went into the garage, got into my van, broke my sunglasses and played with my prepaid cell phone using up $30 of my prepaid plan. When I asked my husband how exactly they got into the van and spent that much unsupervised time in there, he claimed they were only there for a moment and that he hadn't realized they got into the garage. Also, any time he watches them for me I spend most of the time yelling to him to please come and get them as they constantly wander off in search of me and hinder me from doing whatever it is I need to do (like clean the restroom or fold the laundry -- I'm not asking for time to lay around eating bonbons).
And then after I put the kids to bed and finally flop down on the couch -- my husband gets grouchy and complains if I don't want to have naked time. So, I feel your pain. I've been telling him that he's more likely to get attention if he will help me with the kids and the house, get a babysitter once in a while (he always says I can get a babysitter, but never actually tries to help me find one or make any calls or anything), bring home dinner without first asking me for detailed instructions on what to get -- just basically do anything to make my life easier. Sometime he gets it, other times he complains that he works all day and should get to just come home and relax. I've found I have to give him very specific requests like "Use sittercity to find a babysitter for next Saturday night" or "Take the kids to McDonald's for dinner so I can clean the bathroom" and then once I get the break I need, it's a lot easier to function as a wife.