S.L.
H.,
You are not alone in your confusion, particularly where the post natal lack of libido is concerned, I am in the same boat. I don't think that the affect this has on a relationship can be underestimated. I have talked to my doctor about it, but as I am still nursing, have not found much help. She did offer a resource called the "woman's center" in DC, as far as a counselor and someone to talk too. You might look it up.
Aside from that, I think that becoming a first time parent is a whole new ball game and there is no play book. You may be doing a wonderful job at it and yet have to be your own worst critic, because unlike your professional job, there is no certain measure of success, it will have to come out in the was when your daughter is grown. The daily routine of mommying, altough pleasurable to many, is uncertain to professional women and also easily isolating. You have to have faith and believe that your work has purpose and you are there with your daughter for a reason. I find that the spiritual certainty that my husband and I enjoy is WHAT is keeping us together right now, as I have lost my job, my libido and my own professional ambition. You just have to believe in yourself and in god, say a prayer and don't think too hard and undermine your own success as a woman. Your husband is there for a reason.....
Marie