Well, on one hand I see where you are coming from, but on the other I think you are missing what he's saying to you. He's telling you that he needs "downtime" when he gets home from work and you're basically telling him that you don't care b/c it's not what you want. I say this b/c my husband and I had the same argument during the first summer we lived together and as an educator at the time I wasn't working. He would come home and immediately surf the 'net for 30 minutes when I wanted to catch him up on the day's events. He would get annoyed and I would snip at him for spending "all of his time" on the computer.
Here's my suggestion based on what we did... set up real parameters. Don't whine, just acknowledge that you heard him and ask if he's hearing you. Odds are pretty good he's not.
He needs "downtime" after work. Great- 30 "uniterrupted minutes" should be enough time. This really means "uniterrupted" unless something serious happens. You don't say what he does for a living, but he may need the time to transition b/w "work and home".
You want "family time". Wonderful- your "request" (a.k.a. "rule) is that the t.v. is OFF during dinner and for the 30 minutes after dinner. During that time, you play with the baby together. No nagging, no talking about bills or other "non family" topics... just get on the floor with the blocks and the books and play. If he's "drained" after 30 mintues he needs to see a doctor.
He wants the t.v. on 24/7. Fine- but while the baby is awake, nothing violent or with foul language.
You want "couple time". Absolutely! For 30 minutes after the baby goes to sleep, you watch something mutually agreeable.
I know it sounds silly, but you are pulling at opposite ends here. You cannot keep your child from the media. It's simply not realistic, but you have the right and responsibility to control the input. It's getting worse b/c you are expecting him to cut out something that he really likes without being willing to flex.
Be realistic and focus on developing short periods of time for parent-child interaction. It is entirely possible that he doesn't know "how to play" with a baby and doesn't want to admit it. Show him, model the play behaviors and REINFORCE every "little concession" he makes.
In the end (for us), my husband still gets his 30 minutes of "putzing" b/c he really does need the downtime. I get my 30 minutes on the treadmill for the same reason. When our son is awake, the t.v. is on Nick Jr. or something "neutral" and after he goes to sleep... we pick something to watch together. He needs to see the reason or value behind the time with the baby and right now he just hears you talking about what "you want".