Hurtin and Confuse

I'm so sorry-what does the doctor say? You're getting pregnant-that's a good sign. A friend of mine took one baby aspirin everyday in order to improve circulation and then she had a baby-good luck!

C.:

Welcome to mamapedia!

I am sorry you have lost 3 babies...it's sad. Hugs to you.

you will find plenty of women who have suffered miscarriages. Like you, I have gone through 3 - 12 weeks, 20/22 weeks and 14 weeks.

I think you meant that you lost a baby September 2012. I am truly sorry that you have lost 3 babies. I know how hard it can be, how much it hurts and how confusing it is when you don't have answers.

You need to talk with your OB/GYN and let him/her know what you want. If they have any answers as to why...your age, anything that might be holding you back from carrying a pregnancy to term.

After losing two babies in one year, I was done. I decided that God blessed me with my daughter and two boys and that's all He wanted me to have.

Good luck!

Lots of women go through what is called "second stage infertility" which means that you have had (at least) one successful pregnancy resulting in a live birth, but currently are unable to either get pregnant or carry to term.

When this happens it's best to seek the advice of a health care professional. Your OB/GYN can help. There are tests they can run to determine if there are issues that are fixable.

Miscarriages can be very scary and hard.... if you don't have information. So, you need to educate yourself. In ANY pregnancy there is a 25% chance of miscarriage. If you are older than 35 that risk increases. So, naturally, the older you are the more likely you are to miscarry. Please don't let that *scare* you (although certainly it can be overwhelming). Instead work with your Dr to find a solution.

You indicate that you "can't deal with another miscarriage". That is a normal feeling. But now you will need to have conversations with your doctor and your husband to determine if there are other ways for you to increase your family. Only YOU know your limits. My miscarriages were all quite painful (physically) as well. So, I know what you are going through. Hopefully your Dr was able to prescribe some pain medication. You can also talk to a counselor or sometimes there are support groups for women who are dealing with fertility issues after having healthy pregnancies.

I have a daughter (12). Since then I have had 3 miscarriages (6 weeks, 12 weeks and 16 weeks) and 1 ectopic pregnancy. My husband and I made the decision after the last one (ectopic, Nov 2012) that we would no longer try to have a baby the *traditional* way and we have opted to become certified foster parents with the idea that we *may* foster to adopt.

I wish you luck. I hope that you find peace and are able to be OK with whatever the future holds in store for you.

Sorry for all of your losses. There are several pregnancy loss support groups in the San Jose area (google it) They understand and may be able to help you deal with your losses and your fears. You might also ask your doctor for a group in your area. After the 3rd miscarriage, did they do any testing to find the cause of your miscarriages? That might help your doctor and you know why and evaluate future pregnancy risks. Good luck.

You should be talking to your OB/GYN about referring you and your husband to a fertility specialist to see if there are any health issues or any genetic abnormalities. You and your doctors should be trying to figure out together if there's an underlying cause to what's happening.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. I have also had 3 misscarriages. My first 2 pregnancies misscarried at 10-12 weeks. Then I carried my 3rd one to term with a beautiful daughter. No problem with the next pg and my 2nd child was born. Then another misscarriage at 6 weeks and then a pg with my 3rd child. After the first 2 misscarriages we saw a genetic counselor who found nothing wrong. This was more than 30 yrs ago so the dr didn't recommend any treatment but one test did reveal that I have a bicuspid (heart shaped) uterus and the dr thought if the egg implanted near the septum in my uterus that may have been a less stable location for implantation. Anyway each time I just got back on the horse, so to speak, and tried again. We felt our family was complete after the 3rd child so we didn't try to get pg after that.
I know it is so dissappointing to experience loss like that. But many women have misscarriages. In the old days women didn't find out they were pg as early as they are able to now and many misscarriages happen so early that a woman may not even know yet. My 6 week misscarriage was not much more than a very heavy, crampy period.
Only you and your hubby can decide if you are willing to try again or decide that you feel your family is complete as it is.

I had two miscarriages before my son was born. I understand about being scared and the hurt you go through with each one. I am actually pregnant again and am scared to death that I might lose it (almost 11 weeks).

I was six weeks when I lost the first baby and 11 weeks when I found out I lost the 2nd one.

After that I had a series of blood tests done to find out why (I felt like I was donating blood to a vampire they took so much). After that I found out that I had a blood disorder and I now take baby aspirin to thin my blood and additional folic acid. It helped once I knew why it was happening.

I guess in the end it's up to you. Do you keep trying or do you just love your children all that much more? after awhile my response has been "If God wants me to have another child, I will."

I may not always understand His plan but I hope for the best.

With my current pregnancy, I thought is: If I have the baby Great, if not, I'll try again. In the end if I only have one child then I will give him the best life ever. It is what it is.

Now, I've had 4 years to come to that point of thinking, I didn't start out that way.

I know the being scared for it to happen again. When I miscarried in November, I begged the dr to cut me open and take it all out so I didnt have to be scared anymore. (concieved with condoms and birth control - go figure!) That being stated nothing can stop you getting pregnant other than no sex... however you can get clipped. I am 23 so they kinda frown on that.

Take a deep breathe. Love your children. And move forward. Its what we have to do for our little ones. God bless you and your family.