How You Address Whining/mini-fits at the Year Old Mark???

Ignore her when she whine and throws fits. Communication is a two way process. She is communicating in a new way and you have to let her know you do NOT hear this new communication. Let her know her new method doesn't work. When my kids whined, I ignored them. When they were older and whined I would pretend like I heard something far off and the distance, but couldn't really make it out. They got that message.
That is too subtle for you right now. Now you just have to ignore it.

The earlier you nip this in the bud the better! Do not give in to those fits. When she acts like that ignore her or tell her that she cannot have whatever she wants until she asks properly. Tell her how to get your attention the right way and then let her cry and scream all she wants but do not give in. It won't take her long to realize that she is not getting the attention when she acts that way and she will stop doing it. You will probably have to go through the whole process several times within the next couple of years but they have to learn each time they start to test those limits that it will not work and that throwing a fit is not ok.

Cari M said it right. You have to ignore those temper tantrums and tell her that's not how she gets what she wants. Teach her to say please (or sign) and when she uses it be sure to reward her for being polite. Sounds like you're in for another round of this once your new baby comes. Congrats! Good luck with your daughter - it will get better once she learns that the tantrums don't work.

some of you have some really good advice, but I can't believe how many of you mom put up with your little ones controlling your life, its up to you to train them how to act and how to respect you & the daddy. This unacceptable behavior can not be rewarded, you need to take a stand and at a very young age, I started at 6 month, with the things like laying still while changing a diaper, not throwing food from the high chair, not spitting food out, etc. don't let this stuff go on. Thinking they will out grown this phase is a lie, it only turns into something bigger and harder to deal with later. Set your rules and stand firm. A child can't respect someone who is wishy-washy, just like you can't respect someone who is wishy-washy. Children are so fun and delightful when trained up in the right way, not only at your home, but when you go other places you can be proud of how they respond to your voice.
Take a stand moms and be blessed with obedient children.

Sounds like a pretty normal kid to me! :) Our daughter just turned 18 mos old - I'd like to tell you it gets better by then, but it's actually worse. The bigger they get, the more they understand, but they still can't communicate back as much. Our daughter signs and says a lot of words, but she does get very frustrated when we don't understand her. She whines, too. Her newest thing is to throw things when she's upset. So all I can say is to do what's been suggested so far (which is also what we do) - ignore the tantrums and whining, and praise her when she uses her words/signs and behaves well. I've also started telling our daughter that it's ok to feel upset but it's not ok to throw things, and if she throws something, I take it away. She's VERY dramatic, collapsing to the ground and crying as though the world has come to an end. So I tell her I'm sorry to see she's throwing a fit and when she's done and wants to tell me what she needs, I'll be happy to help her and play with her. Then I walk away. When there's even a little pause in the screaming, I'll go back and say in a cheerful voice with a smile, "Oh, you're done! Yea! Let's go play!" If she starts up again, I start over. It usually only takes one or two times before she realizes that I'm not paying attention to her when she's fussing. I've noticed that we can usually nip it in the bud if she's not over tired or hungry. Still, we usually have one fit a week, sometimes more. The hardest part is not letting her know it's getting to you. It's also hard to be patient and consistent. Hang in there!

You need to ignore it!If she wants something (and she knows how to tell you) you are doing right by saying,use your words.If she chooses not to then say I do NOT understand that and do not do what she wants.During a diaper change just ignore it or you can say I'm still going to change your diaper eventhough your upset.(kids are smart and know what were saying)Do not give her more food until she stops and explain to her I will not get you more until you stop.When she stops and you bring her more you can say something then as well.My Niece is almost 3 and she still whines or cries because her parents played into it.

ok Janice A. has awoken me to be truthful. My kids are 17 and 18. When they were that age and they threw their plate on the floor. (the first time that they did it and I knew it wasn't an accident) I smacked their hand and said no. They didn't do it again, and I also didn't leave them time to get bored there.

When my oldest turned 3 and decided not to stay in bed at nap time. He got a spanking. Since he stayed in bed at nap after that - the youngest just did what he did and stayed there too.

I believe spankings work as long as you don't over use it.
BUT not over-reacting and laughing when you think something may be cute that really is bad behavior are the key. Trust me when they are teen-agers "over-reacting" is really really bad. It heightens the situation. Calm, cool and collected... don't let them see you sweat. :)

(original response) Those 14 hours you work is where she may be getting some these ideas. Try not to react to her when she does it. Parenting is kinda hit or miss sometimes. One thing doesn't work with every kid. Just try not to add to the exaggeration.

God Bless,
L.

Good Morning S., Aren't one yr olds Fun!! Zane is 16 months He hates the word's NO Sir or Stop. Even if I do not say it to him but to his big brother. He started walking around Christmas and hasn't slowed down. He still crawls sometimes if he thinks he can get to something faster.

We found if he needs a diaper change to lay him Up higher like on the changing table or Bed, he lays still better then on the floor. Cause he tries to flip over and crawl off. He is complete different personality from his brother. Corbin would lay very still, not cry when told no etc. just goon to something else.
The other two mama's are very correct in ignoring the tantrums, even if your out some where. (man that one is hard on everyone) I have walked through Wally World with Zane screaming cause I said no. Hard to keep your facial expression calm... lol

*Laughing* Yrs ago a friend of ours son had seen some little folks throw a fit when visiting, they got their way. I think Brett was five at the time. (He is grown and missionary now with 2 children) So he figured if it worked for them it would work for him. NOT!! He proceeded to throw himself on the floor kicking and screaming. Jan looked at him walked over, picked him up by his shirt and pants raised him about a foot from the floor and dropped him. Told him since he thought it was fun to throw himself on the floor she wanted to play that game too. HE never did it again. I don't recommend it, but I did try it on Corbin ( 3 yr old) one time. He landed on his hinny so he wasn't hurt but it sure shocked him and got his attention.

Walk away from the tantrums when ever you can, don't even acknowledge them. Be firm in whatever you decide, it's hard not to give in to calm them down. But we can't or they keep pushing that button for a life time. Been there with my own.

Love N Hugs
K. Nana of 5. Congrats on your new little Angel.

This is perfectly normal behavior. Try to respond to her as calmly as possible. I say, "Are you asking me for something? I can't hear you when you scream like that." Don't expect instant results, though. Some aspects of parenting are things we just have to do over and over and hope it takes someday. :)

One thing, my daughter had high lead, and at the point when it was highest, she was having huge meltdowns, sometimes more than one a day. Everyone told us it was normal, but as the lead level went down, the behavior calmed down a lot too. Be sure that your daughter had/will have a lead test at her 1 yr MD visit. It could exacerbate any other behavioral issue.