How Would You Intepret/react to This Comment from a 5Yo?

Yikes! You are looking way too deeply into an offhand comment. I would just assume that she overheard something on TV - could have been a show, could have been a commercial for another show (maybe a daytime soap if she's with her grandparents in the afternoon, they tend to cross-advertise with other daytime TV shows). Kids say all kinds of startling things - don't over-analyze them too much. Respond appropriately and move on.

You could REALLY be looking too deeply into this.
There's probably someone she goes to school with who has parents that are going through a divorce.

I think you're making a huge deal out of something innocent, and you're actually going to cause her to think about it even more. Sort of the "methinks she doth protest too much" idea.

It's very clear that you have grave concerns about what she's watching/overhearing at your in-laws' house, and I share that concern. I think you may need to rethink the child care options unless your husband can convince his parents that they should not be watching adult shows with adult themes, or the news, when the child is in the house. If they can't turn off the TV long enough to engage with their granddaughter, how attentive are they anyway?

But I wouldn't curtail the child care because she suggested the possibility of mommies and daddies leaving each other. She could have heard that anywhere, and frankly, I think it'd good that kids are aware that there are many types of families and that kids can flourish and be loved no matter what. While you and your husband have zero plans to leave each other, I think it's better for kids to know that even if the unthinkable happened, they would be provided for. Divorce, death, a prolonged business absence, a serious illness, a parent who needs to take her of his/her own parents...there are many reasons why there might be a separation of some kind. Assuring a child that nothing like this will ever happen to her actually can make her question it, because she may have a classmate who says something like "I never thought my mommy and daddy would be divorced." And the fact that you aren't aware of this happening to anyone doesn't mean it isn't. I'm sure the teacher doesn't share personal family info with you and other parents.

But it's also possible that your high anxiety level about a lot of things is seeping through to your child, so you might want to get a handle on that as well. We all have something that we're worried about, and whether we want to or now, we wind up conveying some of this to our children.

I think it's fine that you asked her a couple of questions to get an idea of where she might have heard something, but it's very important to drop that pretty quickly. The more you ask questions, the more you put ideas in her head that something bad has happened. It's much more important that you remind her that your family is in good shape.

She's reached a point in her life where she's much more aware of the world outside of your house. True, she might have overheard something at Grandma's house, but that's just one possibility. She goes to school now and will hear things from the other kids and even from the teachers. It's not your job to protect her from everything (definitely from many things, but not everything). Rather, it's your job to help her learn how to deal with things she'd rather not hear.

Remember, there are some kids her age who have already had to deal with divorce, death and other really difficult things. You can't protect her from everything. You have to consider how best to respond when she hears things that confuse or upset her.

I think you're reading into it too much. She heard the comment on the television, and it was probably one of the first times she realized that moms and dads aren't always married. The more you talk to her about it, the more concerned she's going to be. If she makes the comment again, just smile and say 'that's right sweetheart' and move on.

I do think that your concerns about what she's seeing on television are valid. If her caretakers aren't willing to monitor the television more closely, then you may need to make alternate arrangements.

She quite possibly has a friend at preschool or Kindergarten with divorced parents also. It's not uncommon! Kids learn about these things. I would not make a big deal out of it. Just do what you did...reassure her you and her Dad love each other and she is right no one is leaving anyone. If she heard something at her grandparent's house I would not be surprised. My kids hear all kinds of things when adults think they are not listening...they always pick up on stuff. My mom has a bad habit of NOT watching what she is talking about around grandkids when she is talking to another adult. Quite a few times I have asked her to talk about a subject later. She will also put on a TV show young kids should not watch and say, oh, they are not watching it. But if they are up in the loft playing they really can hear everything and soak it in. I'm afraid it's just life...the kids pick up on stuff and learn about the sad realities of life as they get older.

I wouldn't read too much into the comment unless she's stressed about it. As far as the TV goes, if I was in your situation I'd be having a talk with my in-laws. I would not want my child exposed to all of that TV, especially the news. I don't even watch the news anymore because I found it so negative. Definitely not something I'd want to expose my child to on a regular basis. Their TV choices aren't appropriate for small children.

Please, please, don't read more into this than necessary.

How would I handle it? If you don't want her to be in an environment where adult television is on, find other child care. You can't really dictate what a provider does, it's usually the case that you have to find a provider with similar values. (I was a nanny and preschool teacher for a long, long time before having my son, so, speaking from experience here.) You could have your husband talk to them and say "Seems Kiddo has been getting an earful while the tv is on, would you mind keeping the shows kid-friendly". That said, it may be that they are doing this as a favor to you and your husband and if you want a different environment, you'll need to find a good aftercare program. I personally didn't watch scary adult stuff around my kid, and still don't.. he's ten but doesn't need that sort of worldliness and stress.

Also, really, don't scrutinize the comment too much, okay? I heard children say 'off' things all the time. Personally, if my son said something similar at that age, I'd just do what a lot of others have suggested "Wow.... daddy and I really love each other. No one is leaving, Kiddo!" and leave it at that.

She's 5 and I assume she's in kinder or some sort of organized classroom by now. It is reality that a lot of children have parents who are separated, not married and who shuffle from home to home each week.

She's going to see this in the real world as she grows up. Communicate with her and don't hide truths.

It's true that she could have picked up on a tv show.

Maybe she made the remark because you and hubby do appear stable to her and she cant imagine you separating.

I could see my daughter making a remark like that about my marriage because it was clear that we were very tight up until my hubby died.

I think it's a bit far fetched to assume the in laws are trashing you. There must be more to that story for you to go there.

Bottom line, if you're not comfortable or satisfied with her care, find a program or sitter that will do things the way you want.

It could be from any kind of TV programming she heard that comment, and she is just repeating it. It easily could have been a line in a comedy, drama, reality, news, etc, etc. What you told her was good, I would just low key it, and just keep a quiet eye on things and how she is processing her TV exposure.

I'm 45 and I grew up in a house the TV was pretty much on 24-7. Even if no one was watching, my parents claimed to like the "background noise" It was the same at many of my relatives homes. No one paid any attention to what kids might be hearing, but it seems like the world and TV in general, was a lot more innocent back in those days. Now in my own family, we do not even have a TV in our main floor family/dining/kitchen area. I cannot stand the noise of TV on constantly. I would not want my young children exposed to whatever adults happen to have on. It's confusing and anxiety-provoking, today more than ever, especially for sensitive kids.

I agree that I would be seeking some kind of different child care arrangements rather than asking them to stop watching TV when your daughter is over.

Honestly, I would change some things up and turn off the TV for a while for her to grow up a little bit more. She doesn't NEED to grow up faster, mind you. She needs to feel more secure and not be pushed into dealing with adult issues so much.

Tell grandma that the TV needs to be off. Have the friends come to your house instead of her visiting theirs for a while. Be around the kids. It might be more work for you, but honestly, play dates are for children learning how to be social, not for moms to have a break.

As far as how to handle her, other than this, tell her that mommy and daddy love each other very much, and she doesn't have to worry. And then change the subject. If you talk too much about it with her, it will just open her up to more anxiety.

She's only 5. 5 year old kids say all kinds of fanciful things. Nothing to worry or ponder about.

How would I have handled it? After she said, "It's not like momma is going to leave you," I would have said, "That's right, daddy." And then I would have gone on eating. Further discussion about this with your daughter is unnecessary, and only likely to make her more worried rather than less, if you go on about this.

I'd say she's parroting someone.
When I was growing up, the phrase 'little pitchers have big ears' was code for 'watch what you say in front of the kids'.
She's heard it somewhere - tv, movies, games, friends at school (you don't know what's going on in other peoples houses) - or grandparents house.
Where ever they pick it up, you have to deal with the aftermath.
Try asking 'where ever did you hear that?' when she says stuff like that, and then you did fine in reassuring her that what ever it was had nothing to do with you.
If you can pin down a source - talk with them about it and if they can't be mindful of children being within hearing distance of adult conversations, then maybe a change of baby sitters is in order.

I have no idea of the tone in which that comment was made, but perhaps she's just reacting to a melodramatic tone of voice or attitude from you and your husband. It doesn't mean she is watching or listening to something inappropriate, even Disney characters that are about to be separated on a Disney movie will say something like "I love you, I won't ever leave you" and so perhaps she now has the assumption that this is something said when two people part ways.

Also, people do say "bye, love you" on the phone, so again, she may have thought that you were planning to leave the room or thought you'd be separated from your husband for an extended period of time due to the tone of voice or other body language that accompanied your love vows to each other. Maybe he sniffed, jokingly, when he said that, so she was just letting him know he was being a drama queen.

I do think you're taking this too seriously, it's not like she said anything violent or sexual that would raise red flags and make it seem she may need therapy or was exposed to inappropriate material for her age. Just explain to her that people who love each other may tell each other throughout the day, and it's not something that is only said when parting ways. She is just five and may not know any better...

I'm a teacher. If I believed half the things that kids said.....

I wouldn't worry about it. Just reassure her that you love each other and that no one is leaving. But only if that is 100% true. I know someone who was told as a child that everything was fine. She felt very betrayed when her dad left a couple of months later and has some big trust issues.

I would interpret that as kids at school, their parents are getting divorces, they may be talking to a teacher ( which is good ) and she overheard. As it is not normal for a child to say that, it may not be terrible, it means she seems to genuinely understand body language clues and tone of voice. She will probably end up a very considerate and nice young lady. She will probably stop saying such things if you sit her down and assure her that you won't split up. Hope this

Read this...it should make you feel better.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/michael-koh/2013/08/50-unintent...

At five, kids are picking up stuff they hear or observe at school, from TV, from the playground (older kids), etc. You will see a lot of changes and they will come home and say lots of stuff. Half the time they have no clue what they are talking about.

I used these times as an opportunity for discussion - let them lead with the questions. Only give enough info they need at that age.

She either overheard one of her grandparents talking about it or heard it on TV. Why not have your husband ask them? Again, perfect time for him to bring any concerns you both may have.

The part about them wishing you would leave - seems farfetched to me. Don't let any possible insecurities make this out to be bigger than it is.