How Would You Have Handled This?

"I'm sorry, we aren't having guests over right now. I'd be happy to record the show for you and perhaps we can plan on watching it together another time."

♥
C. Lee

I would just maybe say, sorry school nights are bad, but I can set it to record and we can make it a night once a month to watch it.

With the friends I have, we invite ourselves over each other's homes all the time. But we're freaky like that. If it's a problem due to a specific time conflict then we just come right out and say so and that's that.

If it's a not-so-good friend that did that, I still wouldn't have a problem casually letting them know that it's not such a good time but I'd be happy to record it and plan for a weekend get-together.

I guess I don't really see the big deal or why it was so shocking if you consider these people friends.

I would have said, "Come on over girl!" Because I like my friends.

I would tell her that although I love her company, 8PM is the start of our bedtime routine. Tell her that I would DVR it for her. If that didn't work, I would suggest she try HULU for TV shows....

Sounds like your friend doesn't have very good social skills. When she originally asked if you get this channel, THAT would have been the time to say "Is there any chance that I could sit on your couch and watch that show? It's a really important episode and I'm embarrassed to say that I'm just dying to see it. I won't get in the way of your routine."

That would have made a heap more sense.

You could have then offered to DVR it for her and then you wouldn't have to worry about her sitting on your couch. Or you could have let her sit on her couch and really ignored her while you got the kids to bed. It's according to how close a friend she is.

Don't know if this helps, but good luck NEXT week!

Dawn

I would have offered to DVR it and have invited him/her to watch it this weekend.

Judging by your response and your post here and now... you are not fully comfortable with your 'Friend'!

I would have allowed them to come over... or in the very least offered to DVR it for them and they could come over and a better time!

My friends would be welcome over anytime. I would assume that since they were coming over to watch a tv program they are not expecting me to entertain them, or to sit with them. Someone watching tv in my livingroom isn't interfering with me putting my kids to bed. If this person were truly my friend then I wouldn't have a problem or find it to be an unusual request. If it were an aquaitance that would be a different story.

I would have said, "I'm sorry but that's when we put our kids to bed. I'd be happy to record it for you, and you can come over another time."

I may have offered to record it for her. It was bold/rude of her to simply invite herself over no matter what time.

Since you're a praying family, I suspect you can figure out a good way to handle this.

I would say something like "I'm sorry, we don't watch that program and don't want it watched in our home."

I believe most programs are available online the next day. this person can watch it then. I would not refer to this person as a friend, a friend does not treat you this way.

Does the channel happen to be AMC? If so, I can almost justify the rudeness so that they can watch "The Walking Dead." Lol. Any other show wouldn't justify it ;-)

But seriously, who invites themselves over to use their friend's tv? Tacky.

My understanding from your post is that you were asked if you got a certain channel on your TV, not whether or not they could watch a program on your TV because they didn't get that channel.

For your friend to announce she was coming over to watch a show was presumptuous, and borderline rude. Of course, things can be said a number of different ways, & none of us know "how" she said it, to know whether or not you "took" it the wrong way.

Still, I think if I were in the situation you described, I would have said "Gee Soozie, I wish you had asked ahead of time, we really aren't prepared to have people over that late at night, we will be busy getting little Lisa to bed. The TV is off in our house between 7:30 & 9:00"

Hopefully at this time, Soozie would realize her assumption & say "gosh, so sorry, I thought I had asked ahead of time, I see how it didnt come out that way. Could we work something out where you could record it for me? I'd really like to see this program everyone is talking about!"

Now, given that the moment has passed, this is all hypothetical, & fuel for next time. But for now, I would not think ill of your friend or dwell on it. Just be prepared with an honest response if something similar happens again, & see how she handles it.

I am not sure what I would've done (although I don't think I have the kind of friends that would do that), but ugh, can you say "awkward"?!!

So after thinking about this, I would've had no issue saying it wasn't going to work for us. I wonder why they would do that - it's so easy to find episodes online now.

Are you sure these people are really your friends? It kind of sounds like they aren't based on your inability to be assertive with them.

If someone called me and TOLD me they were coming over, I would simply tell them, "No can do tonight. You should have called and asked me ahead of time."

I would have said, if my DVR has room I can maybe record it and we can have a watching party, but 8pm is NOT a good time.

I don't know, because she DID ask, and you DID say yes. (In your words: We have a friend who does not have a certain channel and called us earlier in the week and asked if we had that certain channel on our TV. We said yes.) I think this is awkward incident, where they didn't know that you weren't aware of the time the show came on. Now, them saying what they will do when they get there is rude.

You handled it fine, but remember you did tell her she could come over. I would not let her come over when my kids are getting ready, but I would be happy to DVR and let her come over earlier.

ETA: TOTALLY read that wrong. I somehow read it as they asked if they could WATCH the channel, and you said yes. That's what I get for being distracted. Yeah, I think it's rude. I would have just done what you did.

I'm a little spacy sometimes, so I probably would have gotten confused and asked "Oh, did we plan that?" --not to be passive-aggressive, but because I do sometimes forget things.

And then I likely would have said : "Well, good thing there's hulu and netflix these days!" I cannot imagine inviting myself over to watch tv. I mean, I've invited friends over to watch certain things because of common interest (We have Colin Firth Droolfests every once in a while in my living room!), but not just because I wanted to watch a tv show. yikes! (and we don't have a dvr or cable, so no dice on helping out.)

I would say, "No, that does not work for us."

Same quick and easy response in the future, too. No excuses or reasons are needed. That. Does. Not. Work. For. Me.

I would have probably said "I didn't realize I invited you over to watch tv...."

and yes, it was rather bold and crass to just say they were coming over to watch YOUR tv..... what if you wanted to watch something else?

And no.... if I didn't want them over, I would have not let them just invite themselves over...... that is YOUR time with YOUR family...... don't become a doormat with a friend like that, please.

I've had friends do that but it was usually something important to them. I let them sit and watch TV while I went about my own business. I let them come over because we were friends, I miss her a lot, she passed away a couple of years ago.

It didn't matter to me, if you have a TV in a smaller room other than where your daughter is located then perhaps you can ask them if you can tape it for them to watch at a different time.