How Would You Feel If Another Parent Sent You a Good Note About Your Child?

Updated on December 22, 2011
K.S. asks from Huntington Beach, CA
36 answers

Hi Everyone,
My oldest daughter is in Kindergarten and has to go to morning care almost every day because of my working hours. In morning care there is another "little" girl, we'll call her "C", who I believe is in 7th grade. She is such a wonderful child. She is always polite to me, saying good morning and commenting on how cute my 2 year old is. C is also very kind to my oldest. Even at school events when she is with her friends, she will stop to say hello to my daughter and has even helped her at one of the events. The other girls, who are trying to act cool (I know this is the age) follow her lead and will be nice to my daughter.

Anyway, I asked my daughter if she wants to send C a Christmas card and of course she does. I was thinking about getting her a $5 gift card to put in the card but was also thinking of giving a card to her parents saying how wonderful and kind she is and what a great job they have done on raising such a remarkable child. I just don’t know how her parents would respond. I don’t want to seem weird but she really is an extraordinary young woman in the making.

So would this be weird for you if a random parent sent you a card telling you how wonderful your child is? Any suggestions on how to do this or how to say it?

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Hi Everyone,
Thank you all so much for your responses. I want to explain first about my very judgmental comment that I removed. It was wrong and I feel bad and so removed it.

As for the rest, thank you for the encouragement! We're at a small school and we don't really fit in so I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. I wrote the note (admittedly stealing some of your lines!) and put it in my daughter's folder to deliver. Hopefully she remembers. :-)

Thank you!

Featured Answers

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

not exactly the same scenario...but the other day I had a mom call me to thank me for raising such a sweet, kind little boy. She said my 7 y/o is so supportive, helpful, patient and understanding of her 7 y/o (who has some slight disabilities) that she just had to call me and tell me. I cried. It meant the world to me.
Write the note. Tell them :)

9 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It wouldn't make me feel weird; it would make me extremely proud of my child! Send the note. People always take the time to complain when things aren't right; what a treat to have someone take a minute to convey something good!

5 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I would go do a happy dance in the middle of the street if someone wrote me a card like that!

And as an aside, the parents are probably *not* too busy with their lives - kids don't just hatch from eggs acting like considerate, respectful human beings. Someone has spent this child's whole life using each teachable moment to its fullest - and it feels wonderful as a parent when someone takes a moment to say they've noticed!

5 moms found this helpful

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I think I'd cry if someone sent me such a nice note about my child. Do it!

12 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from New York on

I would definitely do it. I think that the world needs more things like this! Good for you.

8 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

It would make me so proud and happy to know that my girl was living the values we taught her. Many kids shine in front of thier parents but you never really know how they act when you aren't around, unless someone tells you.

5 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Houston on

Do it. Someone sent my mom a card about me (over nothing, IMO) and she was choking back tears telling me about it.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from New York on

Do it! I'm sure this little girl will be thrilled with the compliment and kind words! I would love for my daughter (when she is older) to receive such a compliment some day! It might also be nice for the parents to hear how kind and caring she is...even though I HOPE they already know!

5 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it's a great idea!
Write a Christmas card from your family and include wording on the top or back to the effect:
"Just wanted to thank you for raising C to be such a kind, gentle, polite girl! Janie looks up to her. C always takes the time to make Janie and Jill feel special. I hope you know how blessed you are to have such a wonderful girl that is serving as a role model for so many "little eyes" looking up to her! Happy Holidays! The Smiths"

5 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

Yep. I would go with your gut on this. Who doesn't love hearing a sincere compliment like this? I bet the parents will appreciate it and the young girl will feel wonderful too. Go for it. Sharing our thoughts this way with others is such a wonderful expression of our humanity. I would just write from your heart. What you wrote here is a great start. Just go with it. The words will come.
God bless,
A.

5 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

It sounds Awesome!

I would be very proud of our daughter if we got this about her.

5 moms found this helpful

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

You REALLY have to ask. JUST DO IT!

Her parents will love this and MAYBE this will make it into her dad's speech/toast when she gets MARRIED. :)

STRANGER things have happened.

5 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I absolutely agree with CAWriterMom. Do it! What a wonderful thing for her parents to receive from another parent!

5 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

One time this little boy won a huge stuffed animal at a video game place and saw emmy, 4 at the time, was trying to win it and offered it to her, and she was too shy to take it, but I found the boys parents and told them and they were in tears and so proud of their son who was around 7 or 8, and he deserved the extra rewards and praise he probably got!

I would definitely do a card and present for C from your daughter and then a second card from you to her writing about how much shes apprectiaced, and next time I'd see her parents I'd tell them in person. The card would do if you could hand it to them persoanlly though.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Go ahead and do it. Sounds like she's a future babysitter in the making!

Dawn

4 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Send the card and just say "wanted to tell you how much we appreciate the time that "X" takes to make our little girl have fun at school. I wouldn't go into the "you have done a great job yada yada" just hey your daughter has been kind to our little girl. thanks. and then give the girl the christmas card w/ gift card. its a nice thing to do.

4 moms found this helpful

R.A.

answers from Providence on

I would love that, of course. I think it's always such a wonderful thing to praise a child for being kind and respectful towards others. It builds their character and keeps them that way. it's a great idea. Maybe give her parents a lesson as well.

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would come over to your house and kiss you and your child if I got a note like that-that's a must do!!!!

4 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

I agree the gift card would be a little weird from a random stranger, but I would love to hear how great my child was and why. Just keep it short and sweet.

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My suggestion is too keep it simple and do not cross the line from appreciative person to creepy lady.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I would be very, very happy to receive a letter like that. =D It wouldn't be weird at all. Good for you for taking the time to encourage this young girl. Thank you so much!!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.Q.

answers from Bellingham on

It's probably the best Christmas present you could give them.

3 moms found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

No way, not creepy! Go for it, I think its always nice to hear from others how our children are behaved especially when we aren't around. And who knows it could end up creating a friendship with the parents.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I think most parents would be so encouraged by a note like this. I know I would be. And, the girl would also be encouraged in her wonderful attitude and kindness. I remember when I was a child, eating lunch at a restaurant with my mother, when an older lady come up to compliment my mother on my behavior. She said she was so impressed at what a mature little girl I was, how well behaved I was, etc. That made my mother feel so good, and gave me more incentive to behave properly, especially in public. I think I grew 2 inches that day. I felt so grown up and pleased for my mother. I love your gift card idea. I also think you should just say what you said to us. Tell her how impressed you are, and that you hope your daughter is like this young lady when she is older, that she is a wonderful example to the other girls and to your daughter. And thank her for instilling these character traits in her daughter. If she has been, she will be thankful. If not, it may spur her on to do it more. I cannot see a single negative outcome to this at all. Kudos to you for thinking of her and doing this. Excellent!

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I think it's lovely!! I don't think it's at all creepy.

I would LOVE to get that about my kids :).

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I think it would be so wonderful. Go for it!!

3 moms found this helpful

L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think it's a lovely thing to do, and as a parent, I would be thrilled to receive such a note.

Now and then, I'll get compliments on my son's behavior, like when he's playing at the lego table at the Carter's store, and a mom tells me how polite and kind he was to the other kids... even that gets me worked up! I'd be floored to receive a note like you are suggesting... and I think it's a wonderful way to reinforce those great qualities that the older girl is developing.

YES, do it! :)

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Great idea! Say what's in your heart.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

I would be very proud for one of my children to be repaid for their kindness!

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Wonderful, thoughtful and could be exactly the validation she needs to further become 'an extraordinary young woman.' I'm not sure you even need a gift card but its a very nice thought.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think this is a wonderful idea. Good for you for taking time out to notice this girl, and hooray to her parents for setting her up to be a leader and one amazing young lady.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Go for it and give it to the girl! She will be thrilled and you can talk with her parents as well.

M

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

I think it's a lovely idea, and as a parent of older kids (12 and 16), I would be filled with appreciation if someone took the time to say something nice about my teen or almost teen. Unless the parents actually know you, I would not give a gift, though, even a small gift card.
Keep this young woman in mind when you need a teen sitter!

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S.P.

answers from New York on

Not weird at all. I would love it!!! Just be honest. You could say thank you for raising such a special child.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.L.

answers from Rochester on

I would take that as a big complant. Having someone else say such good things about one of my child would make my day and make the a day for my child. I have gotten complaments on my children and I've always felt so much pride in them. I don't think its weird at all. I think the parents would feel so much pride and be proud of their daughter.

1 mom found this helpful

M.H.

answers from New York on

I would feel so proud if someone did this for my child. I say go ahead. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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