How Would You....

1st i would make sure the things were true, if they are and it is a big enough deal that you dont want her around yoru family for a birthday part i would be honest and tell her, " i understand you ____, and im really not comfortable with that so i would appreciate it if you did not attend this event"- it will probally come off as a little harsh- but im assuming if you dont want her around you and yoru fmaily for a bday party, you are not trying to be her friend either...
i guess i would make sure it is something that you really dont like because any way you say- you will have to be upfront:) gook luck

It's OK if she is not a good Christian woman. God loves us all the same. Include her and show her all the love you can. She may not be on the recieving end of much love.

I completely agree with the previous posters. They said exactly what I was going to.

The "good Christian" thing to do is NOT judge her or her children and to set a lasting example.

The issue is NOT whether or not she is a good parent therefore you don't want her there, but what are YOUR motivations for such judgment of another human being when you youself are not perfect?

I'd pray about it. Invite the kids. Maybe the mom needs someone to talk to. Better yet, maybe the kids need a safe place to go if their mom is so...what is it you called it...yeah..."Ghetto"...maybe it's your "calling" to be an example of what good parents means.

I will pray for you as well. So that He may soften your judgment of others...and be the example HE wants you to be for others.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Pray about it...maybe God wants you to be a role model for her. Maybe she needs to be shown God's grace and mercy.

Don't assume the gossip you heard is true. Be upfront and just talk to her.

I would appreciate a parent communicating with me if some story was out there about me.

Don't judge her, communicate, then make your decision.

EDIT: I just read your revision. Now I don't understand why she was invited in the first place if you were aware of her mothering skills (calling CPS) and she is the type of person you don't like. Leaving kids alone is wrong in my book but I don't know the whole story. Personally, I know some ghettoish people that are good people...and I don't dislike them due to their style. I guess some people might not like me because I do what I want to do to. Just because I am strong willed and "do what I want" does not mean I am not taking good care of my family and that I am not a good person. It sounds like something deeper here with personality differences.

Christian or not, she does not deserve to be judged. If you ask her not to come to your home and she does, then call police and report trespassing OR take the high road and be gracious since you invited her.

Hey K.,
Everyone is saying you should find out if it is true before you talk to her, and I agree if you don't know for a fact. But am I correct that you are saying that you have seen this happen with your own eyes? By all means if you don't want her in your home then that is your call. We have a right to not let sin into our home. It isn't okay that she is not a "good Christian woman". We are all suppose to be the best Christians we can be, however God does still love us just the same. He wants us to be obeying his words so we can one day be in Heaven with him because yes, HE will still judge us for our sins in the end(Heb 9:27). Saying this, some people haven't had the opportunity to be taught God's word. We should try to be a Godly example to these people because sometimes, as Christians, we might be the only glimps of God that some people see. Again, there are other ways to do that than having her at your child's party, when you think there might be a chance of her acting sinful in the sight of your chidren and other's peoples children. Like other's have said before that you will have to be up front about it. I know, easier said than done. I do hope if she isn't willing to change that her children are taken care of. You have done the right thing by calling CPS. What a sad situation for them to be in. We are truly blessed by God to be in loving homes. I will pray for you, and If you have been praying and have given it to God, I know he will take care of the situation for you however he sees fit.
A.

You have received some awesome advise. But please Don't uninvite the child because of the mom. It sounds like to me you need to show that child a good Christian home. Pray everyday and pray over you house the day of the party. Trust in God that he will lead you to do the right thing with this mom. And if she is as bad as you say she will probably drop the child off and leave.

What a difficult situation! Be very careful. My experience with people like this is that they can be very manipultative. You have to be direct and stand your ground. I hope someone helps her children.
Victoria

This is a hard situation ! I think if it were me I would call this other person and ask her personally about the things you found out. In my experience I have found that sometimes the stuff I have heard or found out about others is not always correct. There may be some semblance of truth but not completely or another side to the story. If she says this stuff is the truth, just ask her not to come. If she shows up anyway, take the high road and behave graciously. Then remind her - privately - as she's leaving that she is not welcome in your home and not to return. Good luck !