My mom and step-dad have (had) two female Rottweilers. They were about 3-4 years old. They were not very good with a lot of other dogs (there were exceptions). There have been incidents where they escaped from the yard and got into trouble with animal control. I don't remember the details of the prior times.
Their neighbors got a puppy who barked at them from the neighbor's yard. The more aggressive one dug a hole under two fences, got into the neighbor's yard, and killed the puppy and the two young kids and the mom saw the whole thing. Animal control came out and took the two dogs and they have been put down. FYI - they were not the best behaved dogs overall but they were fine with people.
Okay, my two older kids can hear the whole story, and although it will upset them, they will be fine. They are almost 18 and 15. However, I am at a loss as to what to say to the youngest who is an 8 year old boy. He will be upset about the dogs dying regardless, but I don't think I should tell the whole story. I won't lie, though. He doesn't need to know the details but he will ask why. Help with how to deal with this appreciated.
Thanks everyone. You are right about him needing to know and learn from me. I told him without all the gory details and let him ask questions. I told him that Carly and Ruby were gone and he asked what happened. So I said that they got out and killed another dog and they were put to sleep. He wanted to know how they knew it was them and I told him that someone saw it. I told him that it was for the safety of others.There was a little more questioning. He was sad, but okay.
My son is 7 and if it were me I would tell him the truth. The dogs dug into someone's yard and killed their puppy. Sometimes dogs are aggressive and for safety the law says they must be put down. Knowing my son I would just spill it because he would ask anyways.
"Sometimes animals simply aren't always safe to be around other living things. The dogs killed another dog, and the law is that when something like this happens, the dogs are put to death. It's hard, but the law is for the safety of the public."
You can empathize with his feelings, and I would encourage you to answer whatever questions he has sensitively and honestly without going into any more details or information than he asks for. He may need time to process this grief before he's curious or ready to learn more. Sometimes it may take a child years before they gather all the pertinent information.. so just let him take it at his own pace. What I wrote above in quotes was just a sample statement to a more detailed question. Keep it simple. Just start the conversation with "the dogs died" and remember, it's probably less confusing for your son to hear things directly from you than overhearing it from his brothers, so that is something to think about.
i would not withhold the truth from a child younger than this. i can't think of any circumstances under which i'd hedge the story about.
you don't have to give graphic details of the puppy's death, but i think 'sheltering' an 8 year old from the unhappy truth is assuming a lot of weakness in your son.
'you know that grammy's dogs have been in trouble before for getting out and being aggressive. i'm sad to say that it happened again, and another dog was killed. the law stepped in, and it was necessary to euthanize sweetums and babycakes. grammy's pretty sad- what can we do to help her through it?'
khairete
S.
I think that you should tell your son the truth. The dogs got out and did a bad thing. They were a danger to others and had to be put down. He will be upset regardless, but I see no reason not to tell the truth.
I agree with the way the two posters below explained it...... and then go on to say how, as responsible pet owners, we have to make sure our dogs are trained properly so things like this doesn't happen.
Always tell the truth. Your son may have questions now and probably in the future. If you tell him the truth now, you all will be able to answer his questions each time he brings it up.
Please do tell the whole story. You have some great examples of the words to use, in the posts below.
One thing you may not have considered: Your two older kids might end up telling your youngest child what really happened. Or grandma or grandpa or an aunt or uncle or cousin will mention it sooner or later. jAnd your young son will be in the position then of saying, "But mom said....wait, was she telling the truth or are you?...."
Either your eight-year-old will sense that you are not telling him the full story, and he will ask his siblings or grandparents, or the siblings or grandparents or others will not realize you fudged the story with him and they'll somehow let the details out. It's also not fair for you to tell the older kids or grandparents, "Don't tell him the full story if he asks you" -- that puts them in a bind.. If you (and they) don't tell the full story, when your younger son eventually learns the truth -- and he will, sometime-- he will also realize that the people he loves don't tell him the full truth when bad things happen. That makes the bad thing worse for him, not better.
I know you feel you're protecting him from pain, but the larger issue is that one day he will find out the whole story. Wouldn't it be better for him to hear it up front from you, not in pieces or by accident from someone else?
Such a terrible situation. I like everyone else would tell the truth. It's a good lesson, for all involved.
Ugh, I'm so sorry about this whole situation. That's so rough on you. I, too, would just tell him, in a sort of unemotional way, the truth. What else can you do?
Thinking about you.
:(
You tell him the truth. As much as it hurts, you tell him the truth.
I agree. You tell him the truth just as simply as you put it here.
Unfortunately fine with people doesn't always equate and misbehavior such as this has consequences. Had we chosen to call AC when two large dogs attacked our poodle, they probably would have been put down as well. Our dog survived, but it was a huge wake up to the owners that they had been remiss. If you have a dog, it might be a good reminder to the kids to be vigilant.
Yikes, I am so sorry about the entire situation.
I agree, kids are smarter than we think. Wouldn't you rather tell him the upfront truth rather than have him create his own reasons?
Isn't that what we do when we don't know all the details. We begin to wonder and "maybe if" the entire thing. We are all curious by nature.
An 9 year olds mind is probably more creative than an adult mind.
