How to Tell My Family I'm Back on ADHD Meds

It is none of their business......just my opinion.

I'm really glad your medication is helping you. I don't think you really need to tell them and I don't think it is lying. They just don't need to know.

I'm only the parent of a child with ADHD, but have also faced naysayers in the family. I would not proactively tell your parents, in your situation. Instead, if they say something about how well you're doing, I would just say, "Thanks! I'm hearing that so much now that my ADHD is being treated."

Leave it at that.

I've learned it's not worth debating the anti-med/anti-ADHD family members. They don't have a clue how beneficial medication can be in treating ADHD and giving someone a normal life. You just need to know you're making the best choice for you and that doesn't include getting their approval.

ETA: To anyone without first-hand experience, she will have to say something about the meds because it's VERY obvious when someone's ADHD is being treated. Night and day difference.

I guess I'm wondering, why say anything? So what if they notice a change? You don't need an "excuse" nor an explanation.

Just as you have no reason to tell your parents if you're using birth control, you don't need to inform them of this either.

And IF it should come up some how in the future, tell them what you told us. That you decided it was time for a change and you are VERY happy things worked out as well as they have.

My first thoughts are: you are an adult now, with a husband and children. Your responsibility is to be the best wife and mother you can be. Although you should not lie to or deceive your mother, you no longer have to be accountable to her for things like which medications you choose to take. Obviously she did a good job raising you, since you value honesty and good health. Now take a step forward, and be accountable to your husband and children first. If your mother says you seem happier or calmer, simply tell her your family makes you very happy and thank her for raising you well.

It's not like you are taking serious medications to combat a disease like cancer or multiple sclerosis. Honesty in that case would be an entirely different situation. But whether you choose some medication that helps you manage ADHD, or whether you choose certain vitamins or supplements that make you feel healthier, really, that does not have to be a conversation that involves parents, in-laws and everybody else. If your parents and in-laws are so involved that they need to know everything including every pill you take in the morning, it's time for some boundaries. You are a grown woman with an education and a family, so move forward.

I appreciate the honesty, however, you are an adult and are entitled to your privacy. I am very honest and up front with my mother, however, my husband does not welcome open conversation with his family.

His family prods at me constantly to find out what he has going on medically and I have been instructed not to tell them. I used to tell him it was his family and they were only concerned, until I realized, they didn't do anything in particular to help him and were actually negative about things. It really was a control issue they have, that entitled them to know what is going on in their adult sons life.

So if your choice is to tell them, then I guess you will have to spill it during dinner when everyone is together. Do it at dessert so you can make a quick exit when the negativity starts in.

Your medical situation is no one's business but your own. You wouldn't be dishonest to not tell them. If they ask, you can simply say that you're working on ways to support yourself in your quest to be more organized and stay on top of things. If they ask further or specifically about medication, there's no need to lie or hide but just say that yes, you have chosen to try medication and are happy with the results and that it's none of their business, how's the weather? Change the subject and move on. You are not their little girl anymore and are perfectly capable of deciding what's best for your own health and well-being without their approval. If your mom tries to tell you that you don't have a medical problem just practice saying "it's between me and my doctor and we're happy with the results" over and over until she gets the message.

Despite your honesty policy with your parents, I still do not see how this is anybodies business but your own. As you said, your mom doesn't know better because she still does not get it.

If it were me I simply wouldn't mention it! It's really none of their concern . . . you and your husband are the "need-to-know" parties here, and that's it.

JMO.

1. You are an adult who makes adult choices for yourself and family
2. You have your own life to run as YOU choose
3. If someone says something say, I am back on my meds, I found myself shutting down and "giving in" to the ADHD with soo much going on so right now is a good time to use them ... they are a TOOL. My son has ADHD and we look at the meds as a tool, right now we do not need that tool in his life but I know that at some point it may be something to revisit. The other tools that you have to put in some effort to use "go away" under stress/pressure there is NOTHING wrong with getting help. BTW good job on catching the need for help there is no shame or judgement here.

I don't see why you have to tell anyone except your husband about the fact that you're taking ADHD medication. It's not out of necessity, like a medical emergency, and in case there's a medical emergency you can get yourself a medical ID bracelet.

If anyone notices and comments on positive changes, you simply reply with, "Thank you!" and a smile. Take the credit. Say nothing about the medication because you deserve the credit. After all, you realized that your symptoms were getting worse, you talked to your doctor, and you went back on your medication that's already helping.

Congratulations!

You are nicer to your mom that I was. I could give her the ignorance excuse when I was a child as well. It is just as an adult, when you can show and articulate the positive benefits, she is still beating that old drum, well that was when I lost it with my mom.

She started that nonsense with my two oldest kids and it really hurt them. She didn't get to see either of them for over a year. I know my mom saw me making different choices for my kids as an affront to her decisions. Even when I explained that I felt she made the best choice she did with the information she had she still kept attacking me. I am actually lucky she had full out Altzheimers when I went for my masters and started taking Adderall myself.

I guess in all this rambling I am saying it is okay to just tell your mom this is what I need, my choices!

Oh my, I was reading the other comments. I don't think you guys realize how obvious it is when someone with ADD is on meds. Even my coworkers can tell when I forgot to take it on my way into work. For my family it is a no brainer.

Just wanted to say I've appreciated all the responses!

There's a bit that I don't tell my family any more. Not because I don't love them, but because it's not going to necessarily help in my relationships with them.

Chances are, too, you are really noticing some good changes, but don't be surprised if they don't. People aren't always as quick to notice things when we think they might be. I wouldn't say a thing unless pointedly asked.

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Personally, I wouldn't say anything until your in-laws or parents bring it up. That way, your parents (especially) will see the result of the medicine and can go into the discussion already seeing the positive effects. It will be less of an unknown.

For the in-laws, if you want to tell them, wait until they compliment you on something and then just say "yeah, I'm so much more organized now that I'm treating my ADHD". That's all you really need to say... especially since the details probably wouldn't matter to them.

You are a grown woman! Dont tell them, its NONE of their business. The only person I would share this with would be my husband. It sounds like your mom is still calling the shots, this is your life, your family, your decisions.

L.:

There are times when I wonder just how much better I might be if I got on ADD meds.....I'm typically not a meds person - but there are times when it is needed to help a person function.

If your parents are anti-meds - just tell them you are learning a new way to organize yourself and being in control....do they really need to know you are on meds? I don't think so. you are an adult.

I'd only tell them if they actually asked. "I was doing pretty well with diet and exercise, but I could tell that school required a little more of me and the meds take that tad of edge off so I can get the best out of my classes, so I'm feeling great Mom! How are YOU doing??"
Say your piece and throw the attention back on them so they dont dwell on you.

If she asks you about it, just keep your answer short and sweet. "I'm taking a new medication that has really helped me to stay focused," should suffice. If she tries to engage you in a discussion why this medication or that medication may not be good for you, just smile at her sweetly and say things like, "Oh really?" or "That's interesting," and let it go. If you are not really an active participant in the discussion with her, it'll be really hard for her to keep it going and she'll have to accept that you have made your decision.

Good luck breaking the news and with school. Sounds like you have some exciting stuff laying ahead for you.

Say nothing unless they ask. Why stir up discomfort for yourself about something that does not affect THEIR lives? The honesty policy with them concerns issues that concern THEM - this does not.

It's YOUR life and your hubby/kids that are impacted by your ADHD - you're being a great mom/wife/person by doing what you have to do to function at your best. Throw that guilty kid baggage out the door, set it on fire, and sweep it into the streets - you don't need to deal with it anymore :)

It's your business not theirs. Why do you have to say anything to them at all?

Good for you. You see that you need some help and you go for it.

You are a grown up - it's your business. I'd just say nothing unless they ask. And if they do you can either tell them that you aer taking meds. Or, you can simply say - Mom, I am an adult. I appreciate your concern but it is my business. I feel great, thank you.

You are an adult and you pay your own bills. You don't owe anyone any explanations. But, in your case, I would wait until something is noticed. Wait until someone compliments you and then you are free to say - oh you notced a change? That's because my meds are working! Thanks, I feel great!
It would be pretty hard for someone to disaprove of something after they've already complimented the results.