A.T.
Dear A.,
My son is 5 and has autism. He didn't get potty trained until he was 4 1/2 either. I don't exactly have any great advice for you, but I wanted you to know that I am there with you. My son doesn't wipe unless I am in there with him and even when he does wipe, he doesn't do it very well. I am just following him in the bathrooom to see what he is doing. He also won't wash his hands unless i am in there with him too. I haven't asked his OT at school about it either. I was thinking this might be a little "too personal" for school.
I was just thinking that once he gets a little older, it might come naturally. We still battle stuff like brushing teeth, etc.
Good luck, A.