How to Support a Friend Who Doesn't Want to Hear the Truth

Sounds a lot like my sister.
She delights in fighting/arguing/doing anything to piss people off.
Then she wonders why people don't want to be around her.
Fighting is not my thing.
I don't enjoy it, and the few times I've tried for a little contact, I've been bitten Every Single Time and I just won't do it anymore.
It's a one way friendship - she talks, you listen, and the minute you say anything - she WILL cut you off.
You might try contacting her psychiatrist and see what they say.
I'd cultivate other friends.

Just be there, don't waste anymore of your breathe. Some people (like me!) have to learn from their own mistakes, regardless of what those around us are telling us. I usually know when someone's right, but I have this stubborn issue where I still have to try it my way, if that makes sense. Just stay by, wait for her to crash, then lovingly (not mean, or sarcastically) say 'I told you so'.

You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink ;)

It sounds like a very one-sided friendship. It also sounds like there is more going on with your friend than just depression. I would ask her if she was asking for my honest opinion or just looking to vent. I would also explain to her that if she wanted my opinion it may not be something that she wants to hear, then I would acknowledge that she had terminated friendships in the past because of it. As someone that has dealt with depression in the past, it can be very hard to hear the truth and I am someone that needs the truth sugar coated. I dont think you are helping her by behavior. It's like they say, "A true friend stabs you in the front."

Just let her be where she's at and love her from a distance. Also, don't forget to care for YOU in the process. EVery so often, just take a little inventory of how, if at all, this affects you. Toxic individuals can drain us of all our energy and life. If it makes you worn down-screen the calls. If not, just listen and let her vent until she figures out how to be happy

She sounds like she truly isn't ready for help or your friendship.

Depression is pervasive and penentrates every aspect of life and living. She cuts people off because in order to keep the status quo the status quo you need to have people continue to feel sorry for you and agree with your position.

It sounds to me like this is more than just ordinary depression but may also be coupled with some type of personality disorder. Many of them come with rejecting others and isolating the person with the condition there by reinforcing the mental montra's of the condition such as no body likes me, everybody hates me when that is not the case.

When people are drowning, safety persons are taught to first keep a distance to the drowning person can get to the place where you can actually help them without having them drown you as you are trying to save them. This means, keep your distance, keep contact limited, make positive deposits and quickly get out of contact. Some of what you say may sink in and penetrate the cloak of rejection covering her.

I always choose positive things from the Bible. That seems to help more than anything else I've tried and this comes from someone who suffered from depression for a really long time.

it sounds like what you are doing is what she will accept. She said you are the only one that understands, so, I wouldn't change what you are doing or risk being axed just like everybody else. One thing I find that works with people like this is "The Socratic Method" Socrates would ask his pupils questions that would lead them to come to the conclusion he wanted, but make it seem like they came up with it on thier own. Gently phrase questions that will help her reach conclusions rather than trying to give her advice.

It depends. Is she asking you for advice or just using you as a sounding board?

If she is asking for advice and then not accepting it for just that, then you need to talk to her about it. Tell her that you are there to support her and that you are hoping to help her see both sides, not just hers alone.

If she is just using you as a shoulder to cry on, then continue being that and don't buy into what she is selling nor conflic with her either. Unless it is taking a toll on you emotionally and its affecting you personally, then I say you have little choice but to discontinue being that to her. Its not healthy for either of you.

This sounds exactly like my mother, who also has suffered from depression over the years. I would highly suggest that you and/or the husband make a call to the psychiatrist and just make a statement that you are very concerned about your friend with some details as to why. It sounds like she needs medication or an adjustment in medication. If she continues down this path with no intervention, she will likely just get worse and possibly even attempt suicide at some point. Sometimes the doctors need an outside perspective to provide the best help!

Be patient, and just go along with what your friend needs right now. Hopefully she will get the help she needs and return to a more normal personality soon.