I will tell you the conversation I had with my daughter tonight and you can take what works for you and the rest....
I never discuss the issue when I am frustrated or angry, I let either or both of us cool off. I had my daughter look me in the eyes and told her that I prefer that she uses her words rather than whine. I made her repeat it as we have had this conversation before. I let her know that it is ok to forget to use her words, we all slip into poor behavior every once in awhile. So we made up a signal that I could give her to remind her that she had forgotten and that she was whining instead of using her words to relay what she wanted. I will use this signal and then she knows that she is to ... STOP, LISTEN and USE HER WORDS. I use sign language put my hand like I am chopping my palm for stop, point to my ear for listen and then my mouth for use your words. She has agreed that she will do that.
Tomorrow when she gets up, and we are loving and all is calm, I will remind her and go over the plan. If need be, there will be the consequence of time out if she jus twill not cooperate (I believe in consequences and following through), but I know her well enough that will not be necessary.
My hardest part is not getting sucked into her drama... I have to stay calm and play by the rules. Sometimes you may just have to walk away. If she is crying, I always work with her to breathe and calm down before I try to talk to her.
You may want to check out www.loveandlogic.com
All the best, would love to hear how it goes! Here's to success for both of us on this front tomorrow!
Here's to being a Passion Parent!
C. Hiebel
www.PassionParent.com "Where a Parent can be a Parent!"