Our second son is now 3.5 years & has been a finger-sucker since he was 2 months old. I think the time has come to start breaking the habit. He sucks his index & middle fingers on his right hand. The good thing is that according to our hygentist (my dear friend) & our dentist (her brother) he isn't doing any damage cuz he only sucks the first digit of each finger to the side of his mouth. It's a comfort thing for him like a pacifier. I don't mind if he sucks his fingers in bed but want to break him of doing it in public. He does it occassionally at school but when the teachers tell him to take his fingers out he does. Not the case for hubby & I! I'm not so sure how I feel about slathering up his fingers in yucky tasting stuff cuz hubby was a thumb-sucker so his mom put mustard on it & well, guess what his fav condiment is now....mustard! Our 8 yo son has 2 kids in his class who are still public thumb-suckers (!) & my biggest concern is he'll be in the same boat when he goes to K in 1.5 yrs. Anyone out there have any ideas how to kick the habit?
K.,
All three of my kids had finger to mouth issues. My oldest bit her nails, my youngest sucked her thunb, and my middle boy licked his fingers and everything else, as well as sucking his shirt and eating paper.
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Really, don't worry about it! Let it go! Do you see school age kids thumb sucking? No, because their peers will tease them unmercifully (kinder and first), and it will resolve itself. Allow the child the comfort of his own fingers!
He will prob still (secretly, if you keep pushing it) suck fingers at home, when going to sleep/tired/upset. I did til I was 10. Big deal. My daughters did too (not now). Our teeth are straight so dont buy into that either. My one daughter did get issue with her thumb nail
(she wound up being a switch hitter, any thumb would do after that-one was chocolate, one was vanilla haha)
But really, it is a SELF COMFORT mechanism. Why deny him that? Trust me, it is not a big deal unless you make it one.
My sister was a fingers sucker, also has straight teeth. btw, we none of us suck thumbs/fingers anymore. See, it resolved itself.
OMG! My daughter does the same exact finger sucking thing. She doesn't do it in public - she's 8 and in 3rd grade. Believe me school will cure him of it if he's not already cured of it by Kindergarten. I catch my daughter doing it at home for comfort, when she's relaxing and when she falls asleep. As she got older and we could reasonably talk to her, she started to understand why she shouldn't do that anymore in public. When we catch her at home all we have to do is give her a look and she takes her fingers out. If she's asleep with the fingers in her mouth, I just pull the fingers out. It's totally unconscious on her part. Thus far it's not really affected her. She's smart, funny, kind, has friends, a fabulous student, so I don't think finger sucking has really impacted her thus far. Of course she never got teased because she stopped doing it prior to school in public. Good luck - I'm not sure there's a real answer.
Hi K.,
I'm the mother of a 2yo thumb sucker and thought I would offer some encouragement. When my son began to find comfort in his thumb, I noticed that everyone around me was more concerned with it than I... even complete strangers! You may know the comments, "when ya gonna make him stop"... "don't you know that's bad for the teeth, etc." I started to do a little research on the best methods, harm, reasons why, etc. The stuff I found was profound for me. In a research on adult thumb sucking the ONLY correlation across the board was that at some point they were forced in some way to stop. In other words, attempting to stop the comforting behavior almost made it more of an issue; they would hide it, want it more, etc.
The best advice I read was to wait. As you can read from other posts, kids will take notice in grade school that their peers are not thumb sucking in public. It may then become something that they WANT to stop and they'll be old enough to communicate their desires with you. Here is where we can play a huge part by offering our loving assistance. Decide together on code words or signals like a rub on the back if you see them begin to thumb suck in public. Talk about ways to reduce stress at school or alternative ways to cope with a stressful moment. I've also read allowing the child to thumb suck at home or in the privacy of their room at night when they're unwinding. No different than our bubble bath, glass of wine, or quiet book... they need a way to comfort and relax, too. Ideally, the thumb sucking will ease when they mature and learn new ways to relax.
Most importantly, just be on his side. We'll love them no matter what, so make sure he knows that! Best of luck!
Dear K.,
My daughter never wanted a pacifier until I took her bottle away. Then, she never sucked her thumb until I took the pacifier away. She sucked her thumb for a long time too.
My husband hated it! He threatened her with every horrible thing you can imagine on her thumb which only stressed her out more, which only made her want to comfort herself more, which led to more thumb-sucking and teasing and...you get the idea.
My daughter sucked her thumb on one hand and rubbed her elbow with the other hand. It was a comforting technique.
She and I made a deal that I would not say anything about it to her as long as she did it in private. In other words, not at school, not in the car, not in the grocery store, etc. If we were home and we put on a family movie to watch and she was snuggled up with her sleeping bag or blanket, she would pull the covers up over her head and we knew exactly what she was doing. 10 minutes later, she was asleep, we carried her to her bed and that was the end of it. She did the same thing at sleep-overs too...just covered up her head and no one knew that she just wasn't going to sleep.
None of her other friends sucked their thumbs and she outgrew it.
Your son sucking on his fingers could be a comfort thing or it could just be a habit at this point.
I found that not making a big deal other than it was to be done in private worked pretty well for us. My daughter did very well with it and I finally just had to stand up to my husband and tell him to back off.
My daughter is very intelligent and started kindergarten at 4. She did suck her thumb beyond that, but she kept it a "personal" thing.
Best of wishes!
The finger sucking will go away by itself faster if you leave it alone than if you try to make him stop. At least he's not still attached to a pacifier--he always knows where his fingers are! I sucked my thumb till I was 6--just stopped because I was ready to.
Hi K., as annoying as it is to you it is usually best for the child to leave it alone. Both of my boys (one is 22 months and the other is almost 6) suck their thumbs. My oldest is on the brink of quitting. He is losing a tooth and decided he is too old to suck his thumb anymore. He hasn't sucked his thumb in public or while out of bed in months! Although, he occasionally still sucks it at night it is as you say for comfort. My son is autistic so sometimes he just needs that little extra boost. Our dentist says he is fine and to let it be. Also, just remember your son won't get married sucking his fingers! He'll outgrow it when he's ready it just takes time and patience. Try not to worry too much about when he'll quit, every child is unique and operates on their own schedule. Just give lots of love and comfort. Don't compare your children to other children - it serves no good purpose. Good luck!
I wouldn't make a big deal about it. Sucking fingers, even at 3 1/2 is normal. If it is a comfort thing how is it different than a blanket or carrying around a stuffed animal etc. If it is doing no harm, let him do it, he will out grow it. Why is it such a big deal that he stop? Sounds like a non-issue to me. He probably doesn't stop when you or your husband tell him because you are mom and dad, my son doesn't listen when I tell him to take his fingers out of his mouth , but he listens to his grandparent's. Again, he will outgrow it and who cares if he does it in public, who cares what other people think? Now when he is 5 and still sucking his fingers, then it is an issue, 3 1/2, not so much. Let this battle go for a while, and wait til he is older. I'm sure there are other things to address before this. Good luck
this is only my opinion, but I think if he's not doing any damage, leave him alone. He will quit on his own when he's ready. If you insist on trying to break it, then I would just put a small band-aid on the fingers. I would not use any nasty tasting stuff - my mom did that to me too and although it didn't make me like the stuff she put on my thumb, it left the lasting impression that I do not want to do that to my child.
