How to Stop Someone Elses Child from Lying

When my son's friend are over (he is 5) I tell them "In this house the ule is..." You can call this young man's bluff and tell him lying is not allowed at your house, and if it happens again you will have to discuss it with his mother.

In your house, when someone violates your child (not that sharpie markers are the end of the world, but definitely inappropriate) you can demand an apology. Not just a shrug and sorry, but "I am sorry for writing on Peter" Confession and apology in one...

Have you spoken to this childs mother. The lying thing could be a learned response to how he's treated at home. Or it could be a response because his parents don't care so he gets away with it. Maybe if you have back up for this childs mother then it will make it easier.

S.,
I had this same problem with my son (now 19), except the little boy "Micah" lived across the street from us. They were both 5. At any time of trouble, Micah would run out the door saying, "I didn't do anything." I sat down with my son and told him that I didn't care what Micah said or did, but that he (my son) would always have to tell the truth. Our bunny in the backyard was released from his cage - "Micah didn't do it." I tried talking to Micah's mom, but she became offended. My son and Micah still remained "friends". As the years passed and more friends entered the scene, it became common with all the other friends at any sign of mishap, "Micah didn't do it." We moved away when they boys were 14, but we still stay in touch. According to the neighbors, Micah got into trouble at school. In court, still maintaining his complete innocence, the Judge requested a hair folicle test and Micah's parents had a fit declaring that his rights be protected.

My point ... teach your son right from wrong. I never told Micah that he couldn't come over or talked bad about him to my son. My son and other friends figured it out by themselves. My son actually learned from Micah the consequences of NOT telling the truth and so I'm glad we had the experience.

Hope this helps.

Next time he comes over let him know that you have rules in your house that he must follow or he won't be able to come and play anymore.. it is probably okay at his house for him to behave that way, so he will continue doing it. You don't have to teach him discipline it is his parents responsibilities, but in your house you can make rules. Probably applauding your kids behavior for telling the truth in front of him will be a way of showing him that it is okay to say the truth, he is probably afraid that with accepting the responsibility or blame for doing something he will get him in big trouble, but if you reverse it, he will understand that it is more acceptable to assume responsibilities than to lie about it. Hope that works.

S., There is not much you can do. The good thing is your son is listening and tells the truth. Have you talked to his mother? I would just tell the friend why it is not good to lie.
Good luck
C.
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UNFORTUNATELY YOU CAN'T DISCIPLINE SOMEONE ELSES CHILD, AND TREAD VERY LIGHTLY WHEN TRYING TO TALK TO HIS MOM, SHE MAY BE OFFENDED AT THE MENTION OF IT.
MAYBE IF YOU EXPLAIN TO YOUR SON THAT IS HIS FRIEND DOES NOT STOP LYING YOU MAY DECIDE TO SEPARATE THEM, SEE IF THE 2 BOYS WORK IT OUT TOGETHER, YOU KNOW THEY SPEAK EACH OTHERS LANGUAGE, AND KNOW EACH OTHERS SECRETS.
ASK YOUR SON WHAT DOES HE THINK YOU SHOULD DO, AND HOW DOES HE FEEL WHEN HIS FRIEND TELLS LIES..