How to Stop 13 Month Old from Hitting

Updated on June 01, 2007
K.F. asks from Milford, MI
7 answers

My 13 month old has been hitting me lately. Recently she has started hitting my husband and our dog too. We don't hit her, so I am not sure where she got it. She is definitely doing it out of anger and frustration. I think she might be too young to understand time out. I don't know? What are your experiences? Any help would be appreciated. I want to nip this bad habit in the bud! Thanks!

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C.L.

answers from Saginaw on

Saying "NO hitting!" stearnly and redirecting my son's attention has been working for us. Make sure you stay on top of the hitting the animal thing. Remove her from the situation and say no when she hits at them, they may defend themselves one of these times and who can blame them. Teach her now that the animals are not her jungle gym or toys. I have also used the put the baby off to the side and give attention to the dogs after he hits them-this seems to draw him back in but under nicer terms and he sees me modeling what we want him to do.
Good luck,
C.

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

When my young daughter bit at about that same age, we just told her no biting, that hurts, and put her down. Basically a time out from being held or being played with. I would suggest the same, tell her no hitting, that hurts, and put her away from you. Lots of times just taking her out of the situation and not giving her attention.

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C.W.

answers from Saginaw on

Well Since you don't believe in spanking your kids then the only thing you can really do expeciallly t that ge is to tell them no in a more agressive voice and tell them that it is not nice to hit people! Thats what I did with mine and she quit hitting!

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J.C.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Hi K.,

Everyone has their own methods and it really depends on what gets your childs attention to get her to understand that its not okay to hit. With my daughter (she is 13 months now too) we have been teaching her "nice touches". If she starts hitting us or the dog we grab her hand and say "NO" in a stern voice. Then we take her hand and rub the area she was hitting with it and say "nice touches" in a friendly voice. After a couple of weeks of doing that she hasn't been hitting as much. Now all we have to say is "nice touches" and she stops hitting and starts rubbing instead. At which point we praise her.

We have also started giving her "time outs". At this age she won't necessarily stay where we put her. But we put her in the "naughty spot" which is where ever there is a blank wall basically. (that way no matter where we are there will always be a naughty spot) I face her towards the wall and tell her she is in time out and she has to stay in the naughty spot for a minute. If she moves away from the spot I put her back in it. I keep doing this until the minute is up. Then after the minute I give her a hug and tell her that I love her but it's not okay to do ______. So far we have only done 3 time outs (about once a week) and she is actually starting to stay in the spot.

Good luck! I hope you find some advice that works for you and your family!

J.

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R.W.

answers from Jackson on

Ah yes the "I want you to do something but you don't understand so I'm going to hit you" stage :-)

We went through that with our Oldest...then discovered Sign Language with our 2nd. He could communicate what he wanted before he could actually talk. Made life so much easier.

As for how to handle the little princess now. When you see her taking a swing,or after she hits take her hands. Tell her she may not hit. and redirect her into something else. Angry Dances are good, modeling gentle touch is good as well.

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J.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K., I would talk to her A LOT, keep explaining to her that frustration is normal, and that there are other ways to channel her frustrations. Even though she may not understand the complexities of what you are telling her, your TONE of voice will carry her through, that you are her pillar of strength, and her confident, that you are supportive of her, and of her frustrations, although not her promoter, of aggressive behavior. It is a stepping stone, that you are experiencing, in her process of development as an individual. Above all, don't get overly reactive to her behavior, as it is merely a process of development. This is only the beginning of a mirade of milestones, that you will be experiencing. Having raised three daughters born with 11 months, (plus another one 5 years younger) I have learned, NOT to sweat the small stuff! I know it seems like an earth shattering event when you are going through it, but, believe me, I quickly learned that, this, too, shall pass. (ha) (Not meaning to minimize the frustrations!) J. C.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

be consistent. tell her no hit. that it hurts.

When my duaghter hits I walk away from her- or move her away from me... these things come and go- she was biting a while ago- and we kept telling her no bite and she stopped.

Most of these bad habits will stop with consistent parenting..Often the bad habit is due to frustration- the kid doesnt have the vocabulary to tell you watch she wants..

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