How to Politely Ask for Bday Gift?

Updated on March 22, 2012
J.R. asks from Seattle, WA
22 answers

Hi Moms,

We're having our son's bday party this weekend. A few moms have asked me what he would like. I would never make a request for anybody to bring a gift, let alone ask for anything specific. However, given that they took the initiative to ask, I want to give them a polite but honest reply. Bottom line is, my son will enjoy playing with anything. From the point of the giver though, I can see how they wouldn't want to spend their hard earned money on something that will just end up collecting dust or adding to a collection of useless, toddler tchotchkes. Would you just give a polite, "he'll really love anything!" Or would you give a few options of things? If so, how would you word it? My son is 3 and loves books, trains and cars but he's just thrilled to be able to open any "pwesent." Thanks so much for your input! :)

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Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

You answer he is into blah blah blah. Is he into trucks, dolls, cars, balloons? You never say anything specific like he would like the GI monster blaster XL and only in blue but he is into monster blasters.

By the way there isn't a GI monster blaster, I made that up, didn't want you to think there is a cool new toy out there you never heard of. :)

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N.K.

answers from Detroit on

I would say something like: He is really into x type of books, or x type of cars, etc. You don't have to pick a specific item, but at least narrow it down.

3 moms found this helpful

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When I ask, it's because I really want suggestions.

I've had moms tell me everything from a very specific Lego set to "he likes to play outside, so outside stuff".....both are helpful and both help me out!

You could say "He loves books, trains and cars" and leave it at that...they might press for more specific items, then expand.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Definitely be honest!! When I ask a parent "what would your son like for his birthday" I *really* want to know!! They wouldn't ask if they didn't :)

2 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just come out with it. These people are practical and don't want to bother you with returns or clutter. The only thing that would make this tacky on your part is if your gift suggestions were expensive.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

What you told us is fine..."My son like books, trains and cars." And leave it at that. Specifics can come off rude as that puts pressure on them to look for a certain thing. And depending on what those things might cost will drive their budget to accommodate your request. So a vague hint such as you gave here is plenty fine.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

When asked by another parent who is bringing their child to the party, I always give a few options -very general ones -like, "He loves anything Batman, " or "Dinosaurs always make him happy!" That way they know a "like" but the field is wide open. I always appreciate some specifics when I ask.

2 moms found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

I tend to ask what the child is into so we can pick out something along those lines. It is really helpful if the parent says "oh, Tommy is into books, trains and cars"

1 mom found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

yes -tell them! They are asking because they want to know. The whole fun about giving a kid a gift in knowing that they will enjoy it and seeing that excited look on their face.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I appreciate some guidance when I ask that question and if people ask me, I definitely provide it. I usually give a list of 3-5 things, some specific items, and some general (i.e. DS would love the Guess Who game, anything spiderman, he's really into legos, or a blue light saber). But just saying he loves books, trains, and cars is more than enough guidance that will send the gift givers in an appropriate direction. I hate wandering the toy aisles aimlessly trying to guess what a child might like or not already have.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I would definitely give suggestions so that the giver can give something he/she knows your son would enjoy.

If they ask, just say something like "he really enjoys books, trains and cars but I'm sure he'll like anything you get him."

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would answer them with "he really loves books, trains and cars. But he'll be happy with anything".

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I ask this ALL the time because I TRULY want the other parent's input as to what their child enjoys. I never get offended if they actually tell me what their child wants - it is very helpful to me.

When I get asked this, I tell them the truth: "She's a real girly-girl, so ANYTHING pink would be awesome." or "He JUST discovered Play-doh and really seems to love crafty things." or "He ABSOLUTELY loves anything with wheels." or "She loves to draw and color." etc. They're vague enough that it covers a wide range of things and yet are specific enough that my girly-girl wouldn't get a soccer ball, which would gather dust.

Since they asked, go ahead and give them some helpful ideas

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Please give options to people when they ask you.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

If they ask tell him those are the type of things he likes. Get used to it my kids are 9 and 13 and I have parents ask me that all the time. I tell them a few things they are wanting and then put out gift cards or cash are accepted too. With them being older they like buying expensive stuff. Sometimes I will list off expecially with the oldest what is on his wish list he wants to get for the people that will give him money so they know it is going to something he really wants. Like one year it was a Wii. So more were inclined to give him money. It's not rude to give ideas. They would not ask if they didn't want an answer.

Good luck and God Bless!

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hello :-)
I think giving a specific answer is always appreciated. I would also suggest telling different things to different people so you end up with a variety. If you tell everyone Bob the Builder books...that is what you will get....from everyone. Not that it's a bad thing, but maybe tell one person cars, someone else trucks, then books....a variety is great.

:-)

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

If they are bothering to ask, they want to know, so I would tell them specifically, but give a few options in a range of cost. Good luck.

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

If they ask, I would be totally honest... WHENEVER my son goes to a birthday party, I always ask what the child likes... Gives me ideas on what to buy... "I'M" asking, so it's okay to give suggestions :)

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

People ask me this every year before my kids' parties. I usually do give suggestions to anyone who asks me directly. I'll say something like, he would love a new book or he's really into legos right now, or he has been really into art projects lately. That way, they have the chance to get something that he'll like, but within their budget.

The way I see it, unless you specifically say "no gifts," people are not going to come to a birthday party empty handed. So if they are asking, you might as well give them ideas.

When my daughter turned one, we really did not need anything for her and I knew she'd be getting gifts from family. I tried telling the friends that came to her party not to bring gifts; some did, some didn't.

J.✰.

answers from San Antonio on

I've done this before. If they ask, I say "Oh well he'll love anything I'm sure. He's really into Bob the Builder and loves books of any kind right now though. Anything you give him he will be thrilled to open."

But also, I have found that those who don't ask - take the theme of the party as a hint. IE: My son' 3rd bday was a construction themed party. On the e-vite I sent, I put a picture of him in his construction hat. I think he got 4 or 5 construction-type toys that year.

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A.W.

answers from Seattle on

I would put it just the way you said, " He loves books, trains and cars. I think there is nothing wrong with giving people options. They wouldn't ask if they didn't want to know. I know it seems rude to tell them, but really, it isn't.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I am in the toddler b-day party circuit and I always ask and I always answer.

I normally specify that I dont want them to spend much money and then tell some of my son's interests (Cars, trucks, diggers, firetrucks) or daughter's (anything, really, crayons, playdough, balls).

I think you say just what you told us - he loves books, trains and cars but would like anything they thought to give him.

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