How to Let Go of Wanting to Keep Things Clean?

Just sit back, relax, and know that as soon as they leave you can pick it all back up again. I am the same way. My worst is when my in-laws come over and don't take their shoes off...track footprints onto my clean carpet...and instead of enjoying the visit, I'm stressing out waiting for them to leave so I can break out the Resolve.

I've just decided to hire a maid again.

I will eat ramen if I have to, but I swear to god... I was going in for surgery, and instead of playing with my son, I spent the day cleaning. How. Pathetic.

I've had a maid in the past (pre kids), and there's never been enough money. Well, ya know what? I will eat Ramen before I get so stupidly wrapped up in the mess again. I'm ADHD. I clean every day, I beat the mess back with a stick once a week (field day, with pizza and music). For 9 years, I've turned on music and turned cleaning into a game. And I'm done. I'll still clean, I can't afford to have a maid move IN afterall, but I will be darned if I am ever going to face the question "Clean or PLAY?", ever again if I can even MAYBE avoid it.

I've tried for years not to stress. I make cleaning FUN (we've even strapped sponges on our feet to "skate mop"). My family has a poem that's been handed down for generations (the internet inaccurately attributes it to a woman who submitted one of her favorite poems to a magazine asking for favorite poems). I'm done stressing. Done. Absolutely done. Because I can't STOP STRESSING I'm getting help. Because, you know what? We ALL deserve it.

((This poem has several different versions, as some things have been added or subtracted over the years. A few lines are NOT the ones handed down from my great grandmother -hand painted on a muslin towel in the early 1900's, and HER lines aren't exactly the same as some of the cross stitch and quilting found earlier. But this is my favorite version. All my best.))

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

I love Riley's poem. (I don't agree with all of it, but love the sentiment.)

I've never read anything like it. Thanks for sharing Riley.

When my grandkids come over they play with everything everywhere. Toys go from one place in one room to all over the house. When my kids get ready to leave, they have a "clean up, Clean up" time. Almost all of the toys end up back in the back room where they started out. They miss an occasional toy, but only rarely. After everyone is gone, I usually get the dishes washed and my wife usually vacuums, but that is a small price to pay for having everyone over.

How do you let things go? Remember all of the dirt and clutter is temporary. I'd spend months saving money so we could afford to take our kids on vacation partially because we enjoyed watching our kids have so much fun (Disneyland/Disney World, water parks, etc) and for the things they learned.

You spend time picking up, cleaning up, and putting away. You get to have friends and family over. That makes it all worthwhile. Remember, the clutter is temporary.

Good luck to you and yours.

Declutter. Get rid of toys or keep half of them put up. Only bring out a smaller portion of toys when company comes over. If it's a playdate, just remind yourself the children are here to have fun and use the toys you have out.

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As the kids get older the mess will be smaller. Just enjoy the time with friends. When people start to get ready to leave, then is the time to get everyone to help put the toys and such away. Just remind the children when the arrive that they are welcome to play with the toys in the toy room, and they will be expected to help pick up before they leave. This tells the parents that their children are expected to pick up their mess. It's also okay to remind the children during their time at your house, that the toys need to stay in the toy room. :-) Tell them that it's great that they want to show you something, but they need to bring it back to the toy room. Eventually, they'll just stay in there and play.
When I was a kid, our toy room was in the basement. There were no toys - ever - upstairs. Everyone who came to play knew the rules. It was easy. This is not to say that our basement was never a disaster -- it was often a nightmare, but it was okay... we had a great time!
YMMV
LBC

When I have new kids come over, I tell the rules right off. I made it clear that if they are keeping things picked up, all will be fine. If not, we will pick it all up together and then I get to choose what they will do. A dark bedroom with a movie works best sometimes.

with my in-home daycare, I am to the point where the visual chaos is driving me nuts! On the wkends, I've been known to pack it all up & hide it. Not a good sign! I think this all stems from being so far removed from the baby stage....my younger son is 15!

I think the 'stress' comes from the feeling that you cannot 'control' the environment... ie: the toys and kids all over the place.
Hence a neat house feels better to you because then you can predict it and where everything is?
It is also 'visually' less stressful.
It is what you 'see' that stresses you.... and kids/toys are lots more visually present. Than adults are.

I know a lady who has 2 kids. If you walk into her home, you cannot tell she has children. Her house is like a museum. We have gone over for play-dates there. My children did not enjoy themselves. Why? Because her kids.... were really sort of, bump on a logs. IF they wanted to play with something... they had to ask permission to the Mom. Then... the Mom then goes to the closet, to get it out. Then they can play with it. Once they finish playing, as soon as they finish playing, she PUTS it away. But... kid's natures are not that way. They will play with something, then go do something else, then return and play with it again etc.
It was sad seeing this house and kids. The kids had no imagination or fun. They just sat there. And anything they wanted to do... was pretty controlled. It was not, a 'family' or kids', home. It was an 'adult' home.
I don't know. But it wasn't enjoyable there. We only went back maybe one other time for a play date. My kids didn't enjoy it.

Just sharing an experience we had.

The best and ONLY advice my mother-in-law EVER gave me was that she regretted cleaning all day long and not spending enough time with the kids. Her house is spotless but not creepy (like some spotless houses can be.)

In her defense she did come from a hoarding family so I "get" her desire to NOT be like them.

Oddly my husband doesn't rememeber his mom 'ignoring' them, he was too busy playing outside. He does rememeber his dad working a LOT and LOVING the time when he was home.

Well, we have a small house and our house is also the house that friends w/ kids hang out at. I do keep an eye on the "mess" and have the kids clean up when they've moved on to something else. I'm not cuckoo crazy about it, but we just don't have the room for adults to mingle AND toys to be strewn everywhere.