My son is in kindergarten, and for the first time he has classmates that he wants to invite to his birthday party. It says in the school handbook that it's against the rules to hand out birthday party invitations at school. So how do I go about it? I don't know any of the kid's parents, and he doesn't see them outside of school.
Should I invite the whole class? I don't want to hurt any feelings. But my son hasn't been invited to any birthday parties yet this year.
Edit: I don't really want to invite the whole class because our house is pretty small. But if I need to in order to pass out invitations at school we could make it work. There are only 17 kids in his class, and I doubt they would all show up. So it wouldn't be too bad. Would I expect the parents to stay for the party?
I would invite the whole class, or just see what you can do about getting contact info for the kids you do want to invite.
We had the same issue this year, and the same thing with that NO ONE had been inviting classmates to birthday parties.
After talking to my son, however, it became clear that he thought he HAD been to several parties because when people bring in cupcakes for a birthday they DO a whole little party for them and call it "_______'s birthday" (To the extent that kids who don't participate in birthday celebrations go to another class etc.)
We ended up doing his party AT the after school program. That way kids were there, but I didn't have to track down families I really don't know, or worry about hurt feelings. Also by doing it AFTER school, I was able to get there in time.
If you're set on inviting school kids to something on the weekend, see if the PTO/PTA has a family directory, or ask the teacher if it would be okay to send a "Playdate Contact Info" sheet home for parents who WANT to get into a class directory of some kind. Volunteer to compile the info and make the copies etc., then you'll have it AND you'll be helping out the rest of the bunch.
HTH
T.
If you invite the whole class, chances are only half will show up anyway.
Ask the teacher and/or room mom for a class list of phone numbers or email addresses or home addresses.
I always stay for bday parties. Sometimes its my only time that week of adult social interaction. Some parents will stay. If so, see if you can discreetly ask them to help - crowd control, passing out supplies or food, keeping the snack bowl filled, help when your kid opens his presents. Believe me, if I'm standing around w/a bunch people I don't know, I'd gladly welcome the chance to have something to do!
Schools have gotten as careful with student information as doctors are with patient information. If he knows the last name of the kids hopefully the parents are in the phone book or on facebook. You could ask his teacher if she can give out the names and phone numbers of the parents or ask the head of the PTO (PTA). If you pick up your son from school you could ask one of the Mom's for her number and call her and explain and ask if she knows contact info.
Rule in our home --you can invite the number of kids as you are old. So 6 yrs old can invite 6 kids to the party.
Our PTO prints a school address book that's available at the beginning of the school year. I guess not all schools do that, but it's really come in handy. My son is in kindergarten and has a July birthday, so we haven't talked about his next party yet.
We've done a few parties with his preschool friends, and the moms have always stayed. It's been really nice, because it gives the moms a chance to talk to each other. Also, most of the time we leave the younger sibling at home with dad, so it gives us more flexibility. (Most of his friends are the oldest child.)
I suspect in kindergarten some moms will begin leaving their kids, but many will want to stay if only to get to know the other moms. I would let them help if they offer. I would also have an adult type area, if possible, and beverages and snacks for them as well.
Hope the party's lots of fun!
If you can swing it, I'd invite the whole class. If you can't, ask the teacher what you should do.
a) invite the whole class
b) does your son know his phone number? If so, you could see if he could exchange numbers with a few friends. Sometimes you'll get correct numbers that way and you could call the house and say "could I please speak to <insert name> mom or dad? this is joey's mom". If you get a parent on the phone you could say our kids are in the sam kindergarten class and my son would like to invite your son to a birthday party. The party is on x date. If you give me your address, I'll send an invitation in the mail.
c) see if the teacher has any ideas - maybe the teacher could put a note from you in some kids' bags asking for contact info.
As far as parents staying, I think some will stay and some will leave. Don't worry about entertaining parents that stay - maybe offer them a water or drink of something, but otherwise they can talk amongst themselves. Or even enlist their help in running the party. For parents that leave, make sure you get a phone number in case you need to reach them during the party.
Good luck!
Ask the teacher that since it is against the rules to hand out invitations at school, would she be able to give you a contact list?
Write notes asking for the parents to call you. Have your son hand them out to the kids he wants to invite, then when the parents call you can invite them.
My kids school has what is called a Buzz book each year. A couple of moms work together on this project. They send a note home to each family asking if they want to be in it. If you say yes, you write your child's name, grade, teacher, phone #, address, and email address. You can list all three ways to be contacted as most do, but some will only share one or two ways. Most of the school does participate in this. After the moms compile the all the info., the type it up so there's a page for each classroom and it is just like a personalized conact/directory for the families of the school. (Each family gets a copy and it's great for so many reasons.... especially to set up playdates.)
It's great to have and two kids' drawings from the school are choosen and one is on the front of the buzz book and one on the back of the book.
I am just explaining this so that even if you don't have such a directory book, it might be something you want to get started at your school in the future. (Or for other parents reading this.)
If there isn't such a book, I would suggest writing short notes to his friends' parents. Do not say anything about you are planning a birthday party and would like to have their phone number to contact them because this will go against the school's policy even though it wouldn't technically be an invitation going home.
Rather.... just say in your letter: Hi I am _________'s mom and my son and your son are in the same kindergarten class. He would love to get together outside of school one day soon to play with him. My phone number is _____________________ and my email address is _________________ . Would you please call or email me in the next day or two so we can set something up? I know my son would really enjoy spending some time outside of school with ______________________.
I would NOT fold the short note and not conceal what it says. That way if the teacher sees your son handing the note to a friend, she could clearly see what it says and know it is not an invitation.
But.... like you said, I really don't think all of the kids would show up. Maybe... you could send a note to everyone in the class like above and see who responds to your request. Maybe it would turn out to be the amount that you find suitable for a home party. Or.... just send invitations home to each kid. If it turns out to be all of the kids, you could always do a movie type party where you give out tickets and they "buy" candy, popcorn, etc.. from the "concession stand." You'd probably get at least half of them to sit for the movie. haha.... but sometimes invitations get lost in cubbies and lockers, etc... my 4th grade son tossed his in his locker and it stayed there for over a week! He brought it home and I only had that night to rsvp to make the deadline.
Good luck and have fun!!
