How to Help My Kids After Accident in Bouncy House (Really Scary)

Not once did I cry when my daughter fell under water with no teacher close by and myself up in the bleechers I did scream for someone to help and once I got a teachers attention and they got her out I ran downstairs to console her but never cried in front of her or screamed. She was underwater for over 45 seconds before help got to her.

That was the first scariest moment of mommyhood for me but I knew I had to keep my cool if I ever wanted her to get back in the water.

The next day we were back in the water (she never went to that place again for swim lessons for my sake but she got right back into lessons, she was hardly phased at all (she was 3 yrs old.)
Now when I got home I was in tears in my room and had to recover...Children really feed off of their parents and elders..

The fever probably has nothing to do with the bouncy house.

This happened with my daughter.. i was the only mom who stayed calm and put the hose back on. My child was not freaked because i was calm. My daughter was 3 at the time.

I had that happen to me once. I had a bouncy house in the backyard for the grandkids. Everyone went inside and I went in the bouncy house to grab GD socks when it came off of the hose and collapsed on me. All I could think was to get as close to the opening as possible because let me tell you, when that comes down on you, it's heavy and you cannot find the entrance/exit! It took me about 1 minute of screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to come out and help me climb out. It was extremely frightening. I am NEVER going into one of those dumb things again and I watch my kids like a hawk when they're in one.

ETA: I just read some of the responses. I just want to say that I'm sorry that no one is really sympathetic. The one says she's seen it happen and it didn't seem that bad. Let HER get in the damn thing and have it come down on her. Sometimes you can't truly appreciate the significance of something unless it happens to you. Again, it happened to me so I can tell you that it is extremely frightening!

**Blunt Warning**

I think you are making WAY to big a deal of this, thus your children are too. Your screaming during the incident did not help and now it appears as though you are acting like they are suffering post traumatic stress from this blip in their lives. This is one of those things that you look back on and laugh about later in life - not take them to the pedi and fuss on about. You know those parents that do nothing when their child gets hurt? You see them at the park, Johnny falls and fusses and mom says, "are you bleeding, no then get up and go play." THIS is why they do it ... if I fussed over everything then my son would too. I realize this is a bit more than a fall, but honestly I would not have given it more than a "Wow guys, that was scary do you want to talk about it?" and then maybe taken them for ice cream afterwards. So, if you need to cry and have a panic attack do it privately - then have one FINAL conversation about it and agree to move on. This does not have to be a traumatic event, you are turning it into one from MY perspective, based on the information shared in this post.

Wow, I agree with the others that your visible fear and panic obviously added to their scare. I wasn't there to experience this of course, but from your description, this was a 30-60 second "ordeal". I don't see how they were in any real danger.

It sounds like you have some work to do to deal with your fears and anxiety in general, so that you can help your kids grow up to be less fearful.

I am aware that I am a calm personality, and I come from a line of calm moms, and I grew up on a farm with three siblings. We had multiple episodes of serious bleeding, broken bones, and periods of unconsciousness...my mother didn't once cry or show any visible fear. She just calmly assessed the situation and took appropriate action.

My ex and I used to own a small bouncy house that we would use in our basement playroom. My daughter would play in it while it was deflating. If this had happened to her, I would've made finding her a game, and laughed with her afterwards.

I'm sorry but you are making WAY too big of a deal of this. I get it might be scary for the little kids when it happened, but there is no real reason this should be going on for more than a day. Don't scream and cry when something like this is happening to your kids, you probably made them more scared thinking it was worse than what it really was. I doubt your daughter was severely traumatized by this experience at all. I don't see any reason to harp on this. They didn't see someone get killed, relax.
Sorry if that was a little blunt but it is true.

Mom, you need to calm down. Do not allow your children to see you so distressed. They depend on you for their stability..

This was a very scary thing to happen.. It is as bad as if your child fell off of their bike and hit their head on the street. These weird accidents happen all of the time and I promise.. this is just the beginning.

When these things happen it takes all of our will power not to completely freak out and lose it. But you must find your strength and wait until it is all handled and do your freak out away from your children.

I am also going to guess, your daughter was already coming down with something.. this just is all a coincidence that she has a fever.. also her lack of sleep.. etc..

In the morning, you need to start being very positive. If your children bring up the incident, just talk about how good that everyone is just fine.. No one was hurt. It was a little scary for that minute, but look, no bodies were hurt!

What an adventure.. Not many people have had this happen.

Your 5 year old will remember this a bit when she is older.. The 2 year old will not have any of his own memories, just what you all will continue to bring up..

Just begin to just listen to what your daughter says about her feelings. And then tell her, she is just fine and this is not going to happen again.. Also promise that the next bouncy house you all run into.. YOU will join them to show them it is safe. Accidents happen. This was not done on purpose.

You all need to have some quiet days, with playing in the park, maybe splashing in the pool.. It is good you will be seeing the doctor, but once again, do not have a dramatic recounting of the event in front of the nurse or the doctor.. Maybe write it out and give it to them before the appointment and let them know your children are still upset.

Help them move on by validating it was scary, but they are fine and so are you..

Children feed off of you and your emotions. They are okay, you are okay, they didn't get physically hurt. Talk to them. It will be okay. Mom take a deep breath and let some stuff go.

Ditto Angela S. and Bethyskids and Laurie A (I keep scrolling and finding myself nodding) and nicole, Kristin, sue...and barb.

I would have asked "and why were you screaming and crying? That is probably what scared them. Have you told them that you were overreacting and just scared but that they were ok the whole time?"

But they said it more nicely.
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Even your question proves it. It wasn't "really scary". You made it "really scary". I'd be scared too if my mom was screaming and crying.

If I were 2 or 5 and I witnessed my mom screaming, crying and losing control I would be scared too. Hello!

When a scary situation occurs, you as a parent need to remain in control so you won't scare the he$$ out of your children. By remaining in control, you model for the children that bad things can happen but mom/dad will make sure things are ok. Your children see you lose control in a scary situation and they must rely on themselves because mom can't handle it.

Think about it.... put yourself in your children's places for a second and imagine how they were feeling when they witnessed your crying, screaming fit.

I would not relate the fever to the bounce house activity.

I certainly suggest that you seek some sort of guidance from a counselor or someone to allievate your fears which are rolling over to your children. Living you life in fear is no way to live. Figure out how to deal with it so your children do not grow up with it.

Ditto most of the comments. You need to keep it together in these situations. Your daughter is old enough, and you need to discuss your reaction to this incident with her. Tell her you overreacted, it wasn't nearly as scary as you made it out to be, and you need to get "tougher" about these things.

I've seen bouncy houses deflate with kiddos inside before. While I was shocked, I never saw adults running around crying and screaming. That would have frightened me way more than the bouncy house incident.

We had a tornado pass right by our house last year. Was it horrifying for me? Yes. I have my children huddled in a closet with blankets and pillows on top of us, in complete darkness with what sounded like a freight train rolling by. Were my children scared? Yes. Were they traumatized? No. I was the picture of calm, cool, and collected even when I wanted to fall completely apart at the time. Afterward, we talked about what tornadoes are, how they form, what they can do, and why they can be so scary and dangerous. Now, my son is fascinated by tornadoes, but respects them too. He drew them in school for weeks afterward. We have to go see every weather exhibit at the museum. It all ended up being something we learned from.
As a mother, you have got to learn to stay calm in panicky situations. Your children need to trust you as their protector and if you are scared, for heaven's sake, NEVER let them know it. You have to let them know from the get-go that everything will be alright and there is nothing to be scared of. Accidents will happen often. How they learn to cope in situations is completely based off the example YOU set. I hope this helps you help your kids.

I hate to tell you, this happens all the time. I'm sure the bouncer at the Y collapses about once a week, and the adults set the tone. You need to reassure them that there was no reason to be frightened, they were never in any danger. Not being able to see mommy is not a reason to panic. It really should not be viewed as a traumatic experience. As for your daughter, it sounds like she has come down with something, and her illness would not be related to the "incident".

I'm wondering if there is an undertone of being overwhelmed in your life generally . . . I was in grad school when my kids were very little and I remember things rattling us more than they probably would have otherwise.

Of course that was a scary moment. But it helps to pretend like you're your kids lifeguard, or something like that. In other words be a bit more detached emotionally during those moments but stand in the breach between them and disaster.

Kids need calm leadership.

I know you know this stuff, which is why I'm wondering if there isn't more going on under the surface (i.e., feeling overwhelmed).

Hang in there Mom - it will be OK.

ETA: Sheila S. - your story gave me chills!

I know it was scary at the time, but it's over. The best thing you can do is downplay it. When your daughter cries about it, give her a cuddle and rub her back and say, "It's scary when a bouncy house falls on you, but it's not going to happen again. You're safe." Then cuddle her a little longer and then you and she can go on with life. If you make a huge deal about this, then the kids will become more fearful.

The one thing I've learned as a parent is that parents influence their kids' reactions to tough situations by the way they react, and most of the time, they don't realize it. If you are sad, they are sad. If you are terrified, they will take that cue from you, and also be terrified. If you are calm, they will be calm. Your kids are feeding off of your reaction to this incident, pure & simple.

The bigger a deal you make out the something, and the more attention you give it, the more obsessed your children will be about it. I hate to say it, but I really think that your child is "traumatized" because you have convinced her & yourself that she is. You want her to get over it? You need to get over it, first. The sooner you do that, the sooner she will. Let it go & move on. She is okay. No need to keep reliving it & thinking about it.

DD went under water last year & had trouble regaining her position in the water & needed help out. I didn't freak out, and guess what? She had no problem at all getting right back in. It's only traumatic if you make it traumatic.

When my then 8 yr old came home from the neighbor's house crying (she doesn't cry much... she's a tough cookie) telling me through a busted lip that she had broken her tooth... I was falling to pieces on the inside. On the outside, I knew I had to stay calm NO MATTER WHAT. My daughter had broken off (completely) the bottom half of her PERMANENT front tooth. It was angled and sharp, and her lip was bleeding and purple where she hit that too.
(fell off a scooter in a weird way)
She was in pain. Quite a bit. And while I was trying to figure out how to soothe her pain, and what to do about her tooth (ER? dentist? what? it was after 5:00 on a holiday)... I had to keep a calm front--even though I was terrified that she would lose the tooth completely and need an implant.

My daughter did just fine. So did I--until I went to bed that night. ;)
You just HAVE to keep it together in these kinds of situations. Your kids NEED you to be their rock and tell them they will be fine.

If you freak out, they will too, exponentially.

Cali:

I'm sorry this happened. However, your screaming and panic scared your kids more than anything else, in my opinion.

The more of a big deal YOU make out of it. The BIGGER and SCARIER it will be to your children. they are reacting to YOUR reaction. Yes. It was scary. Could you have handled it differently? Yes. Panic does strange things to people and makes them react in ways they normally wouldn't. You panicked. Your children saw you "sweat" and saw how scared YOU were/are and now it is affecting them.

While the 2 year old might have a hard time understanding - you can talk with them about the incident and then LET IT GO!!! Don't keep harping on it. Don't keep bringing it up. Don't keep reminding them or telling the story of how it deflated to other people. That isn't going to help the situation. Talk about it ONCE. Then let it go.

i agree with the others. they will react how you react. we've had some scary accidents but i just pick them up with a straight face and say you are ok and we will get through this (stitches and all). then i cried later when they didn't see. but since they are already scared, i would tell them, sorry mommy got so scared but look we are all ok and it wasn't that big of a deal and we love bouncy houses still etc.i would have one good talk like that and then drop the issue. the longer you dwell on it and make it a "scary" memory, the longer it will take to get over it. kids are resilient and hopefully they will move on soon.

How scary that must have been for you!! I agree with the other moms that have already posted-you have to remain calm in the face of the challenge. Your kids will gauge their own anxiety/fear by how you react. Just last week, we had a terrifying moment happen. My kids are 3 and 4. We were dropping my mom off at her house. She recently had foot surgery, so I was helping her out of the car. I left the engine running, A/C blasting, my kids strapped in carseats watching a movie in the backseat. When my mom got out of the car, I shut her door and the whole car instantly locked! I banged on the doors, urging one of my kids to open the door. Child safety locks were on, so that was to no avail. I urged one of them to try to get out of their carseat to open my door. My kids, my son especially can read my emotions very well, so I knew I had to remain calm. My son was getting really worked up which was freaking out his younger sister. We called 911 to send out a policeman and locksmith, but fortunately my son was able to get out of his carseat and unlock the door. I just really praised my son for being a hero and that we were all ok. My kids have forgotten all about it.
One time last summer, my daughter got lost at the aquarium at our local zoo. That was a terrifying moment as well, but we just talked about it and I reiterated that we are ok, God is with us, and we practice our safety plan. It was a powerful moment for all of us. Validate your kids feelings, let them talk about what happened and just reassure them that they are ok. You could call your local school counselor, church counselor or pediatrician and talk to them about it. They can offer some good tips on how to relieve your children's fears as well as your own. God doesn't give us a spirit of fear-the enemy does that. Sometimes you have to tell these fearful thoughts and anxiety to take a hike because it will make you crazy if you let it. Good luck and God Bless! So sorry that happened to you. but glad everyone is ok.
HTH,
A.

I do see the point of view from the other responders about how your keeping calm would have helped your kids keep calm, but I don't think you did anything wrong. Of course you were freaking out - they're your babies! I would have been upset and crying as well. A lot of children get hurt in freak accidents like these, and us mamas get emotional about it.

I have a 5 year old son, and if this had happened to him, even if I was totally calm and cool about the whole thing, he would have been very scared. A lot of kids that age are scared of everything. I don't actually have any advice to give because I don't know what I would do if I was in your situation. I think I would probably joke about it and talk about how silly it was, and try to find a way to make my 5 year old giggle about it. Hopefully your pediatrician will be helpful.

I hope you and your little girl feel better soon, I think you will feel better over time, after the initial shock has worn off. I'm glad your babes are okay! :-)

Maybe try a re-inactment of that event at home?

like playing under one of those giant parachute blankets where part of the fun is to let the blanket all the way down and listen to the kids giggle and scream trying to get out.

A re-inactment in your livingroom or on your bed with a big blanket might help them lose that "fear" they expierenced, since they know you are going to show them how to crawl out from under the blanket.

I realize the plastic on top of them and the darkness of it, and hearing kids scream and some that were probably crying, added to your kid's dismay. But once you show that staying calm and slowly crawling for the exit is the "mature thing to do".... they might feel better knowing that it was really not an impossible situation and now have a "tool" in case something like that were to occur again.

I think the others are right about trying to stay calm in a crisis. However, no one really knows how they will respond in something like this. When your children are at risk you get scared and worried. So I don't blame.

Going forward I think you need to have a talk with your daughter about what happened and how it made her feel and you feel. Then proceed to tell her that by being her mom you will do everything in your mommy power to protect her from getting hurt. But sometimes accidents happen that no one can control. But when things go wrong you'll always be there to help her get back on her feet.

I also think you need to take into account that she probably picked up some germs and may be overwhelmed by getting sick too. That can also play into her emotions.

Good luck! And glad everyone was ok!

I had a similar experience and honestly it caused me post tramatic stress. I know that sounds silly but for about a year I was shaken but my daughter was okay and not effected. We were at a community event with a huge blow up slide like 25-30 ft tall. The huge ones. I let my 5 year old start walking up the stairs to go down. there were big kids jumping up and down up top .All of a sudden it started to deflate and fall. I'll never forget the day because it truly made me feel how much of a mom I was because I would have done anything to save my daughter. It was in slow motion ,falling as everyone started screaming and diving off and I grabbed my daughter dragging her away as it collapsed on our legs. The weight of the plastic on my legs told me this could have been a tragedy. Everyone was worried a child could be under it and you could barely pick up this heavy plastic. There are so many things that I am thankful for about that day. That I stuck close by supervising, That I didn't let my 3 year old son go on it. I still drive by and see those giant blow ups and wonder if people realize how dangerous they can be. I'm sorry your daughter is suffering. I hope time will help her forget. It truly can be a very disturbing experience. Best wishes to put this behind you.
R.

My nephew was on a little kid roller coaster when he was little and fell during an accident. He was fine, but very afraid of coasters after the incident. He was a cool kid in high school and there was a lot of peer pressure to ride them. He doesn't like them and never did. He is a successful, happy, well adjusted 30 something man now and just fine.