How to Help My Child Deal with a Needy Friend

Hey,
One of my sons had a needy friend like that in kindergarten.
It really is only a problem if your son has a problem with it.
It is his reactions not yours or the school's or the teacher's that counts. It was when I volunteered at school (which I strongly recommend) that I saw that the child was so talkative and attached that he was really bothering my son. We talked about it and he expressed what I had observed. We talked about what he could do about it and it was already late in the year. He made it through that year but I specificly requested that the child never be in the same class together again, and it their senior year and it has never happened. Turns out that child had many mental issues and it would have never worked out for them to be friends but I caution you to speak the truth in love and be an advocate for your son, not an outlet for your fears.
B.

THat perfect- speak with the teacher and go from there- getting the other parents involved isnt necessary at this point- its not a violence issue - its something that can be tended to in the classroom- make sure seats are apart and that she doesnt pair them during projects. Its fine to set play time after school- but make it real structutred and set a time for it to end- then I would just make sure that he has play time with other kids from the class as well.I am sure that after speaking with the teacher- she will do whats best for both- Look at it this way- evidentally your son has son great qualitie that this other child admires.

D.

My child has a friend who is not quite that needy, but who will tell anyone and everyone that my child is her only friend, and the only one she likes in their class. Meanwhile, my child plays with everyone and has friends both in and out of the class. We have playdates with all the other kids, including this one child. The only real problems we've had with it are when my child goes to the other girl's house for a playdate and then my child plays with the other girl's big brother instead of the other girl. (So much for kids with siblings being soooo much better-adjusted than my only child. Sorry, couldn't resist! ;) ) The other girl's mom has already told me she dreads kindergarten if my child isn't in the same class! Makes me wonder if this is healthy for my child, though again, my child plays with plenty of other kids.

And, after all of this random rambling, that is what I wanted to tell you--as long as your son plays with other children at school and at playdates, he can have independence from that needy child and not feel too smothered. It really is weird that the school is wanting to cater to the needy child that much, possibly at your own child's expense, but as long as you let them know you are watching the situation, maybe you can keep things under control.

Erica i ran into this same issue with my son and his cousin.They are 6 weeks apart in age. very different personalitlies.
I kept my niece before they started school.. and they were close Played well together but she was NEEDY...when they entered Kindy i made sure they werent in the same class . and for gym and playgroud times when she would not leave him alone... by not leave him alone she DIDNT want him playing with ANYONE else just her and would throw a horrible fit if he tried to play with anyone else!..i talked to the teachers so they would seperate them and let my son make new friends..
it is so hard ..we want our kids to have friends but sometimes they get ONE needy friend who monoplizes all thier time.
I would definitly talk to teach about it .Let her know all your fears about this one sided friendship . Also the school councillor is a great person to bring into these kinds of situations.It was a sad HARD thing for me..cuz i loved both kids..but YOU know when something is not right for your kiddo..and we have to speak up!!!
My son is in 1st grade now his cousin has made some friends of her own. they are both doing ok...but it helped them by ME breaking her cycle of needyness...sorry if my spelling is horrid!!
good luck
~B. in hurst

How old are the boys? How about requesting a conference with the other child's mom to find out what is going on from her and then explain your son's and your position on the matter.