How to Help an 8Th Grade Boy Fit in with the Class??

I have a couple of suggestions......use religion to create a story for this boy........I know there were many in the bible not considered "popular" but they had a place and a mission........make this a lesson on tolerance of others, what is good about them being different, why it's important that we ALL contribute to this earth...............

You might want to make John teachers pet as well........keep him involved.....try to break him out a bit of being quiet by handing out papers, or doing some things to make him interact with the others more....

Is there one skill that John has that he can use to show off? If so is there a way for you to work it so he can show off this talent to the others?

And here's another one that works sometimes..........have each class mate, write something good about all the other classmates.........they have to think, it can't be "he dresses nice"..........but have them put everyones name down, and then fill out something that they see that is good in this person.......a trait in them that will help them in later years.........give them some time to work on this, and make sure to let them know it will be graded and that there must be great thought put into this........this will allow them to kind of look at the other kids in the class and watch for the "good" things that they do...............I read a story where a teacher did this in a freshman class and she then made a list for each student of what was said about the m by the other students.........one of her students died in war, and they ask her to please come to his funeral.........he had that battered peice of paper of what his classmates had said about him in his wallet all those years.........he looked at it every time life took him down......she found out at the funeral, that almost all of the other kids also had their papers that they had put away somewhere to look at or carried it with them as well.........

Good Luck and you're a sweetie for caring so much about these kids......people need to do that more these days with all that is going on.
Take care.

I would not draw ANY attention to him. In fact, the best way to get your group under control would be to have the loudest kids sit next to you! He may be getting bullied which is only amplified if the teacher calls on him, gives him praise at all etc. It is embarrassing to him. You are very well intentioned, and I would suggest discussing your concerns to his parents to see if they have noticed changes in his behavior in school and at home.

I don't have any particular recommendations as I start writing this but perhaps an idea or two will come to me before I'm ready to send this.

I just wanted to compliment you on how much thought and attention
you are giving to this boy and his situation.

How many kids are in the class?
Here's an idea . . . which may not be appropriate for your class
but I will toss it out anyway.

Let's say there's 16 kids in the class.
Can you break them into teams of four kids each,
and give each group an assignment they will need to work on together,
as a cooperative team.

You could make a list for them of various ways to split up
responsibilities among the members, so that each member's participation is essential for the completion of the assignment.

Rather than letting the kids choose their own teammates,
you consider in advance the various strengths and weaknesses
of the kids, and create teams so that this kid's particular strengths
will be best utilized in making his team effective and successful.
Does that sound too daunting?

Have a different task/area for each team,
so that at the end of the assignment (2 weeks?)
each team can report to the entire class
about what they learned, and all kids will learn something
from the other teams' work.

Good luck.

I don't know how to help now, but in the future he will look back and remember that S. was a woman of God who cared enough to intervene and try to help him. If no one helped him, he would likely feel no one cared enough about him to notice. I am so glad you are his teacher.

What about incorporating some problem solving/initiative games into your weekly lesson planning?

http://wilderdom.com/games/InitiativeGames.html

Hi S.,

You cannot change the way the other students act and you cannot make John more popular but you can express that YOU are uncomfortable with the behaviors going on. You mentioned it is not Christian and you are teaching religious ed, it may be a natural tie between the Bible and modern day problem solving.
I was just at an anti-bullying training (high school teacher) and one of the points they made is that if we do nothing then it is the same as giving permission for the behavior to continue. So, the advice I would give would be to take what the kids think out of the equation. You should model appropriate behavior. Tell them that even when they behave in an ugly manner you are still treating them with respect. If you ask John, he will not ask for help and it may make him more of a target. (The example was that abused spouses never charge their abusers but let it happen)

I may be being overdramatic, but you are the adult and the final line in the sand to tell the popular kids (the ones with social power) that the behavioral expectations are toward those of less power. In or out of your lesson, make sure they know what is or is not okay. John will see that you have his back and the popular kids will at least not be able to say that no one ever told them they couldn't behave in that manner. Be explicit in your expectations and hopefully they will fall in line.

Best of luck, N.

I know I'm late in responding to this question so I'm not sure if you'll even get it. You already got some helpful ideas but another thought would be that you could gently say something to the parents. Chances are that if they're taking the time to ensure that they're children are attending these classes then they'll be very interested in having their children practice what they preach. You don't have to say that he's being bullied but just gently mention that you see this silent exclusion going on and that it's obvious to everyone and that you can tell it's hurting John.

This exact scenario happened to a group of boys when I was younger (I think it was when they were all in the 6th or 7th grade) and the parents were the ones who made a difference. I know that times are different but they insisted they give this kid a chance at being their friends and he eventually went from outcast to close friend. As a matter of fact, these guys are all still the best of friends today - despite having careers and families of their own.