Nicole Dear,
I was baptized secretly by my father's godmother, as it was Soviet Union, in Estonia (my dad is Estonian). I was baptized by a Lutheran priest.
My mother, on the other hand, was Siberian Russian. Her belief was Orthodox.
At the time, none of them could attend church, as they were teachers in the University, and under the Soviet regime, they would lose their jobs.
I grew up in a 'softer' time, and I could go to church.
I loved heavenly organ music in Lutheran church.
I loved the breathtaking beauty of Orthodox church choir singing.
The world is more and more multidimensional,
as people meet, different cultures, traditions, belief systems.
They fall in love, get married, raise their children.
What do children need the most?
In all the traditions: love. This is paramount.
All the other things follow.
From multicultural diverse family, I am blessed to meet closely two cultures, to live through double blessing.
I even speak with an accent on both of the languages, Estonian and Russian.
I understand it so:
GOD IS ONE.
Different religions are like different paths
to approaching GOD.
Metaphorically speaking: GOD IS THE CAPSTONE,
and we all walk up to the mountain towards His BLESSING and LOVE.
Depending on the place, space, traditions, culture, even the climate zone religions, faiths, beliefs are different.
Yet, the goal is ONE.
Christians in India bring fruit and flowers to the altar,
Christians in Europe do not.
In Christian churches, there is organ music, but not much decoration in churches.
Catholics do not paint icons.
In Orthodox church, there is a lot of decor in churches,
and beautiful singing, but no organ music.
What is common everywhere, though, is a sincere good INTENTION to strive for better.
We all strive to improve in heart, to be wise in mind, and to help in making this world a better place to live in.
This is how I, a multicultural family kid, understand it.
I believe it is great that you and your husband, you used to go to both of your churches. It shows your UNITY on the bigger scale.
So, this is how I believe it to be right:
if a child is raised in love, with compassion, taught to think wise and never lose connection to the heart, then all is good.
If according to your inner feeling, your husband is the leader in the family, then there is nothing wrong to baptize the child so. Yet, he being wise should not not prevent (as he attended your church, he most probably will not) you from introducing the kid your approach to the world, so that the child could get THE BEST from both of you!!!
I hope I managed to 'work around' my dilemma in my life.
And, I raised my 3 children the same way.
My elder son is 25, and his wife is Chinese (a real one from Hong Kong, who came to study here, and settled = she is deep into their Chinese ancient traditions). Can you imagine the differences? They are doing great, respecting each other's ways.
It is not 'tolerance' about the other faith, it is a deep understanding and respect, what drives our communities to live together happily. Is it not so?
And please, do not be afraid of talking to your husband!
Can you share with him how you feel, trusting he will understand?
You both obviously move to the same goal, as you have a great loving family. You only take different paths in faith (to the same Goal). You can introduce the children both paths, and yet still, they will have their own choice, in life, how they exactly go. But as long as they are loving, caring, wise in their decisions to take actions, your parental duty will be fulfilled.
Look, especially in the States, at all this diversity of people meeting! There is a huge chance for this
society to be the best of the best, as so many good things meet from different cultures, with people immigrating here, sharing their 'roots'. There is also more danger, like 1992 riots in L.A. ... Kids need to be educated not to be tolerating, but compassionate, loving, sharing, in creating.
You will make it right. Listen to your heart, that loves and cares.
Let me suggest an example, on the mental level, with science:
You know, I was home schooling my sons until their 4th grade, and when presenting them a scientific information, I did not ever IMPOSE it on them that 'this is right'. I ALWAYS added one magic saying to it: "scientists think, that". Well, 'scientists' in olden times thought the earth was flat, and the Earth was in the middle of the cosmic space. Then, people started moving around more, and they became convinced that the Earth is round. Copernicus found, that the motion of planets is around the Sun, Galileo was burnt at stakes for his findings, Einstein speaks about theory of relativity and E=mc2 and it enabled spaceship traveling; and NOW, scientists say that theory of relativity does not work similarly in the open cosmic space. We have a Hubble telescope that brings in more info for scientists... and so on.
Could anybody believe only 500 hundred years ago that over a 100 people simultaneously can be transported from one continent to another in a mere 4 hours? They had no clue we will have aircrafts!!! It happened, because the inquiring mind was not considered a witchcraft worth burning at stakes anymore. Understanding came in, not intolerance to the fact that somebody thinks differently.
This is where the ability to be open and diverse in thinking helps building more comfortable life, with apartment buildings, electricity and fast communication and moving options. We like it now. We did not have none like this 500 years prior. The world has changed tremendously.
I do not touch the diversity of religious paths, as I do not know yours, but the idea is not about the changes, but about UNDERSTANDING that other paths have a right to be for different people also, that other paths may be of as much help to other people, as yours is for you. Would you agree? I know you would. You cannot raise your kids anymore (in this country especially) encapsulated, they will be meeting and seeing and needing to deal with so much diversity,
and your great family may lay a great foundation for them not to get lost in making decisions, but approach them with love, compassion and wisdom.
:) Happy holidays, Nicole and all your dear family!