How to Get That Spark Back into Your Marriage??

Have your in laws watch your kids!!! It is so important for your children to be with Grandma and Grandpa just as you two can use a night out. I am sure your in laws want to watch your children, they are not just "babysitters", and you are not just leaving them with "other people". They are their grandparents, that's what they are supposed to do!! It will be good for you to get out alone, your kids will have a chance to bond with grandparents and your in-laws will have a chance to be grandparents without mom and dad around!

I agree with the other responses that say to take your in-laws up on their offer. They want time alone with the kids just as much as you want alone time with your husband. Secondly, find a babysitter for the times you want to go out and your family can't watch the kids. Since you run a daycare, I would ask some of your parents for recommendations of people to contact. Finally, I HIGHLY recommend reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The is an excellent book on how to communicate with your spouse. From my personal experience, I can say that lack of communication often leads to losing that "spark." This book really helped my marriage in that aspect. If possible, get your husband to read it too. Hope this helps!

I agree that you should let your inlaws watch the kids. I am almost 100% sure that they actually WANT alone time with your kids and if you can bring yourself to trust them (or there are no reasons why not) you really should. It is important for kids to bond with their grandparents. You have gotten some other great advise about bonding with your husband at home, but taking time for the two of you alone really makes a huge difference. I'd go so far as to say that having a full day and night away makes an amazing difference. Away from the stresses of home and family you both can be just the people that you originally fell in love with. I'd try to schedule that next time your inlaws come to town.

I know it is hard for you to "find the time" but you must.

One thing we decided before daughter was born 15 yrs ago was to NEVER FORGO date night. We have missed very few.

We have no family around and it was tough but we managed....it costs us about $60-$100 for a sitter on date night but it was well worth the costs to keep our marriage intact. We have been married 21 yrs.

You do not have to spend money. My hubby is a semi pro golfer.....sometimes I'd just walk the course with him while he practiced, we'd go to the mall, go on a walk. Do anything you can to be a couple.

Get yourself fixed up and look pretty for hubby. I tease my hubby all the time. I know what pushes his buttons and gets him going and I do it.

You need couple time....please make time for it. Good luck.

Take advantage of the offer your in-laws made! You may not "like" to do that.. but maybe your husband mentioned something to them that prompted them to offer? He probably feels the need to have some 'adult' time way more than you do. I know my husband does. Finding a reliable sitter (or even a convenient TIME) is hard enough... let them watch the kids for you! It doesn't have to be for the whole weekend... just go out to eat or go see a movie with your husband! You NEED some time. That is the best way to keep that spark. You have to have time where you are "S." and not just "Mom".

Who says you have to go out to have a date night? Tuck the kids into bed and doing something romantic right at home. Prepare a special meal just for the two of you. Use candles and soft music. Maybe even sit out under the stars for a while. Study each other again. When you were dating, you spent time learning each other's likes and dislikes. Do it again. People's interests change over the years. You might learn something new about your hubby. Watch a romantic movie together and snuggle on the couch in the dark. Maybe even put some flower petals on your bed for later. :) Hope this helps. Start a fire! LOL

There are loads of things you can and should do. The first would be to set your priorities. If it is important to reconnect with hubby that may require other arrangements be made for the children. If being out in the evening is too much for you perhaps a few hours of a play date for each of your children would work on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Maybe more time talking or listening to each other would work or taking the children to the park as a family where the 7 year old can push the 3 year old on the swing while you and hubby talk.

If you have more romantic aspirations, I find that building mor sleep into my schedule really helps ( nap when the kids nap). Then you can use that energy to romance hubby. Remember the spicy things you may have done before children and break them out and dust them off.

Maybe getting hubby to do somethings with the kids when he gets home while you get ready for him will help too. I usually find that thinking about all of the wonderful moments we share all day long really helps to set the mood and get things going.

Ultimately you know what works for your husband. It just needs to be pulled to the front of your relationship. Hope this helps.

It is so so so important to make your marriage a priority. My husband and I went through a really rough time not too long ago. We made a very conscious effort to make our marriage a priority. I had a newborn and a 2 year old and I was really afraid we were going to get divorced. I hated to leave my babies, but I knew that my husband and I needed the alone time. We went out and did something that we used to do when we first started dating. It was awesome! We made a pact to try not to talk about the kids. We just enjoyed talking to each other. I found that he opened up a lot more and so did I. We try to do a date night at least once a month now. There are times when we're unable to go out, but we find something fun to do at home. We wait till the kids are in bed and we put in a movie, eat a decadent dessert and cuddle on the couch. You need to let your ILS watch the kids for a few hours. They wouldn't offer if they didn't want to. Have fun getting to know each other again!

If your kids are good sleepers and you have a few hours in the evening on weekends, you can devote a few of them to each other right at home. Put on some nice sexy music, whatever it is you both enjoy, light some candles, take a shower together and then give each other a massage with some scented oil. You will both be very relaxed and it's a wonderful way to show each other some tenderness and love.

well at the moment there isnt much of one here...but that is due to medical issues. we use to have one night a week where we would have a dinner after the kids are in bed, not nessecarly sleeping...sometimes watching a movie in their room. to go outside for a short walk at night on the weekend once they were asleep. to dress up for each other in something you wouldnt be caught dead in going to the grocery store..lol. i know you are always tired after working at home chasing kids especially when they are not your own. but after daycare closes i would just deal with what u absolutely have to with clean up to function the next day and make some down time for you and your husband. and it doesnt have to be a date outside of the house either:D. Dont be worried about other people watching your kids either...even if it is just for a half hr to get a break and go for a walk with your husband to the corner store. start with small little trips on the weekends...with a sitter of course watching the kids...i would start with no more then an hr away from them at first...then slowly increase the time...but only one day a week to start...or even one day a month. to me it also sounds like you dont want to leave the kids with others...because of a seperation issue but that is my opinion. just use your imagination..i am pretty certain you will come up with some of your own ideas of date night right at home:)