How to Get Naps Back on Track?

www.askdrsears.com

ok, now im going to blab, and i hope that nothing i say offends you, though because of my passion for children, i have a hard time holding myself back. so im sorry if i offend you.

sleep is NEVER a constant with a baby or any child. you have to just keep responding to her and keep doing what it takes to keep her safe, healthy and happy. this is the instinct that im sure you have.

i would use EXTREME caution using any "training" or "techinque" that implies that your baby is manipulating you, using you, or trying to control you. your baby is crying because she has a NEED. the more you respond, even if you dont know what she wants or needs, the more she will be confident that you respond to her one way or the other. if you dont respond to her cries, she learns that crying doesnt get her anywhere. this is where the cry it out supporters say that crying it out works, when actually it does something else; it breaks down the connection. baby realizes that all the crying in the world wont get your attention, so why even bother. trust is broken.

babies at a certain point will also figure out that they are separate from mom and they will be a little nervous about the separation. dont try to make your baby independent by forcing her to be separate from you. this will backfire in the end, causing an even more extreme form of separation anxiety, because she doesnt know when or why you will come back. if crying doesnt get you to come back, what will? its confusing, and frustrating, and scary for a baby. it isnt until around a year old that babies start figuring out the difference between a need and a want, and until then, everything is a need. this is a method of survival for the baby, making sure their needs are met, so they cry. ignoring that cry is not a great idea.

YOU are the mom. YOU have the instincts for YOUR specific child. you should know what cries are urgent and what cries are not so urgent. crying for more than 5 or 10 minutes are important. anything that wasnt important wouldnt require crying longer than that.

its possible that shes not all that tired. shes 6 months old. has she learned any new skills? turning over? starting to get up on hands and knees to crawl, maybe even crawling? teething? all of these things can interrupt her sleep.
just stay with your normal routine. it doesnt have to be written in stone, but obviously, altering her bedtime doesnt work, so y push it. just keep up with what you have been doing, give her the comfort of everything being the same. she will be fine. in a short time she will have another issue completely, and you will forget all about this one.

i just feel passionate about parents responding to their children. i never cried it out with my son, and at almost 27 months, he goes down for nap every day at the same time, he almost ASKS for it. bedtime is 730 - and even on nights when we think he could stay up longer, he gets his snuggle bear and up in someone's lap to cuddle and hes very tired!! he is almost begging us to get him to his bedtime. one thing that hes absolutly confident about is that if he cries or is scared or has some sort of need at night or nap time, he KNOWS we will come get him or talk to him or hold him or comfort him, no matter what. babies and toddlers dont just lay there thinking 'ok, if i cry, mom will have to come in here and i will get my way' - their brains are NOT developed enough for that. that inner speech type of thought doesnt even start until they are around 8 YEARS old!! yes, there are times when i know my son is just whining and doesnt need something, or he will be hollaring for me, and i will just go in there and see what he is yelling about, usually he wants a book that fell out of his bed, or a sippy or his nuk, or his bear. something fell out of bed, (or was thrown LOL) and i will get it for him and snuggle him back into bed.
on days that i have the time, i will lay with him for a while.
we always have used white noise at bedtime and naptime. it brings him GREAT comfort and blocks out other noises that may happen in the house when he goes to bed.

either way, trust YOURSELF and your instincts. they are there for a reason. if it makes you cry, dont do it. if it makes your heart ache, dont do it - do what your heart tells you to do! :D the best most successful parents with the happiest healthiest kids will tell you - the more you listen to the things your heart is telling you and less to books, tv, magazines, even friends and family (or this site) the better off you will be. parenting isnt all or nothing, it isnt something you can "learn" from a book, its something that you just KNOW inside you to do.

as a child care provider and mom, there ARE things you can do to encourage yourself and your instincts, like taking classes on child development. i am required to take a certain amount of classes every year, and every class i take helps me to learn more about the minds of our babies and children, and its fascinating the lies that have been told in the past, and the things we know now are SO much more informative and .... they encourage loving, responsive parenting. the best thing you can do for your child is from day one give them the confidence that you will be there for them no matter how silly something seems.... you will just know.... i dont know how to explain it. i guess what i should say is that the more you listen to your child now, the easier it will be when they are 2 and supposedly so "terrible" - i would NOT define my 26 1/2 month old son as "terrible" - hes not perfect, but hes certainly one of the most well behaved kids his age ive ever met. and i feel its because i didnt do the things that the majority of parents do. i trusted my son to tell me when something was important to him, and i trusted myself when i felt it was important, i did something about it. my son doesnt just whine for the little things, he gets upset about things he SHOULD get upset about. you know what i mean? by responding to all the things that seem little when hes a baby, i taught him the difference between the big things and the little things.
i dont know. you just know. and the more you follow that feeling in your gut, the better you get at it, even if its not your kid! :D

anyway..... write to me if you are confused by anything ive said, or if you have more questions, but www.askdrsears.com is a good site for sleep info. his sleep info is some of the best ive read. but remember, above all, YOU are the ONLY person in your daughter's life who knows her like you do. if theres a dad involved (it doesnt say, but im assuming..) he has instincts too! just trust it over anyone else's advice. its the best feeling when you can read parenting advice and you can just keep what you like, and toss what you dont like... and keep trusting yourself as the first and only (with dad) expert on your specific child. every child is different! :D so no method or theory or training could possibly fit every child! :D

anyway.
yeah.
www.consciousdiscipline.com

discipline starts at birth! and discipline and punishment are NOT the same. :D dr sears has a book called the discipline book, but check out his info online.
anyway, im blabbing! sorry! good luck. im sure she will get back to normal soon. dont be too worried that shes losing sleep. sleep amounts and habits change with age and development. shes most likely just having a normal sleep interruption.
anyway.
sorry! good luck

It sounds like your little one is sleep deprived. She needs to get in those two naps. We use the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It has worked wonders with both of our kids. It is divided up into sections by age, so it is a quick read. And it goes all the way up to age 5. You need to get her on a better nap schedule or as she gets older it will get harder and harder with bedtime. My son is now 10 months but when he was 6 months, he took two naps one starting at 9 and the other at 1. Both for about an 1 1/2. And then slept at night from 7-7. Kids need a lot of sleep and the more sleep deprived they get the more they don't sleep. So, don't let you little on fool you into thinking she needs less sleep. Kim West has been featured on Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc. if you want to google her and check it out.

Just keep trying. She is probably out of sorts due to having to sleep in new places. Even at 6 mo. old she has her little routine and relies on it for security and comfort. Keep the time she goes down for naps the same every day. Try to make the routine of putting her down the same too. And give her the full amount of time that she should be napping in her crib. My daughter (now nearly 21 mo. old) has bucked naptimes sporadically throughout, but it is just important to keep trying and make sure you have her stay in her crib for the full time she should be napping. The rules of thumb I follow are: Put her down and make sure she has at least 1 full hour in there. I do sometimes check and make sure she hasn't pooped, because there was awhile that she would poop every time I'd put her down for her nap. If she falls asleep, then I make sure she is in there for at least a full hour - so even if she wakes up after a half hour she stays there, crying or not, for the full hour. This helps them learn the time scheudle and also helps them put themselves back to sleep if they wake up too soon. Now that my daughter is on 1 nap a day (since around 18 mo.s or so) that is stretched out to two hours, but I do check on her after 1 hour and try to put her down again. About a month ago she had a 5 day nap-strike. Everyday, for 2 hours she cried and/or played in her crib. Then it was over and I'm glad I stuck to the schedule not only for her sake, but for my sanity as well. You can also try getting her to sleep more at night. Sometimes if they are not getting enough sleep at night then that will mess up naps. My daughter still routinely gets 12 hours at night - but I have to make sure she is in bed by 7 because no matter what time I put her down she will always get up around 7 in the morning!

And yes - I agree with previous posters that getting one of the suggested books can be a tremendous resource, especially in setting out guidelines to follow and just having a solid plan can give you great peace of mind. We did the 3-day Sleep Solution when she was 4 months old and it was literally a miraculous transformation and overall she has had wonderful healthy sleep habits as a result that will last throughout her life! I wish I would have done it closer to three months though. It sounds like you have a handle on it - and I would only suggest spending the $50 on the sleep solution if she was not sleeping through the night at this point. I only wish my Mom would have had something like that when I was a baby and perhaps I would not have the sleep issues I have now! Sleep well and good luck!

The advice that the previous posts gave sounds good. I don't remember my daughter having difficulty with naps or going to bed when she was a baby, but now that she's a toddler, she went through a phase like this at about 16 months old and was transitioning from two naps a day to just one. It took about two or three weeks to get onto a really good schedule. Now she takes just one early afternoon nap that lasts about two hours, and then she goes to bed just fine and sleeps for 10-11 hours at night. Good luck!

Hi C.,
It sounds like she is ready to drop one of those naps. At 6 months she really doesn't need 3 naps. Try pushing her morning nap back by 30 - 60 minutes, and then do the same for her afternoon nap. Skip the late afternoon nap and see if that helps.

I think this is sleep deprevation as well. My two children took 3 naps until they were 8-9 months old and then 2 until they were abotu 18 months. They always have slept about 12 hours at night. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a great book that I used. Make naps a priority. Sometimes it is hard to be home for them, but it will make your life easier.

Oh my... I am so sorry for you distress but some babies don't need as much sleep as others. If she is sleeping 10-11 hours a night that is great. My oldest son by the time he was 6 months had starting skipping naps all together and by the time he was a year he was only sleeping 8 hours a night. A good idea if you feel that she is tired is getting in the car and go for a ride. If she is that tired normally she will drift off in a few minutes. Also, try and get her sleep someplace outside of her crib. Both of my kids were trained to sleep no matter where they were. Having them only sleep in their cribs will restrict your social life because you will have a crabby child who won't fall alseep anywhere but their cribs. So If you are running late at the grocery store or whatever you can only imagine the chaos that will happen. At six months of age they will start knowing their world around them. Nap time you might start with a story book or something soothing to get her relaxed. Good Luck!