Grandma is the problem. If your daughter was hanging around someone who did drugs, would you let her continue hanging with that person? NO. What about someone who swore and stole? Probably not. Grandma is no different. She goes against your beleifs of how you are raising your child.
My mom had her own "ideas" of "how the kids could be" at grandmas house. I told her that if she continued to go against my parenting style the girls could not come over any more. She told me she was my mother and it was her right as a grandmother to spoil the kids. And I told her it was my right at their mother to ensure they are safe and loved and, most of all, a part of something that is in thier best interest. So for a month my kids did not see thier grandmother. Then one day she realized that they were my kids and yes, what I say goes. We had a talk with the girls (then 6 and 3) and told them that being at grandma's is just like being at home, same rules. It never happened again.
Make a decision, you are the parent. Your parents should repsect that or, well it is your choice whether you let your kids visit unsupervised or not.
Here's the thing, if you leave them unsupervised and you KNOW that grandma is not complying to your wishes, you have no one to blame but yourself.
Think about it.
B.
Family Coach
www.TheYummyMomy.com