Help! I was finally able to wean my daughter off day-time use of pacifier when she turned 2. She only used it during naps at home and at night and gladly handed it over when she got dressed in the morning before breakfast. We went on a 9-hour road trip 2 months ago and I let her have the pacifier to comfort her during the long car ride. Now, she will not give up the pacifier during the day. It is a battle every morning. She goes to day care and cannot have it there. She is fine with that, but at home she asks for it constantly, even crying through the house, "Binky! Where are you??!" Today she tricked me into giving it to her. She asked to take a nap (she gets the pacifier at naptime and bedtime) and when I gave it to her, she ran outside her bedroom and refused to lay down for her nap. I have tried letting her cry it out, but she starts gagging and chocking and turning red. She gets so worked up.
Saw this article in chicago parent a few months ago
http://chicagoparent.com/article.asp?aID=38100586.###-###...
Just give her the damn thing...what's the big deal? She's using it to soothe herself and it works. Why in the world would you rather have her so upset?
You have never seen a kid go to college with a paci. Instead of letting this become a control issue, I would back off and maybe point out that other big children don't have them but let her have it until she grows out of it. The only other option is going cold turkey ie getting rid of them all. There will a few days of melt down and then she will be fine. I would lean more toward the first as sometimes these timelines are more in our mind than is really necessary.
Throw them out. That simple.
Yes, she may cry and choke and turn red. But that won't last long, and it doesn't hurt her. Don't try to comfort her, just empathize with your words and some pats, and then try redirection.
It's easy to think that a behavior is going to last FOREVER but it doesn't, and usually kids are done with it overnight. Just realize that YOU are the variable in this that can prolong it, which is why you throw them away, outside, on garbage day... you won't be tempted to cave.
Good luck!
Children are almost always much more dramatic with their parents than anyone else. You have the evidence that she can go without the paci because she does it everyday at school. But she knows she can pull at moms heart stings and get it from you. I took my son's paci right around his 1st birthday and he cried so badly that I gave in and gave it back. But when the babysitter told me he was not using it during the day or during nap there I knew I was geting played. I took it again at 14 months he cried for 3 nights and never mentioned it again. Trust me she'll be fine you just have to get rid of them so you won't be tempted to give in.
We are also about to get rid of ours from our 2 1/2 y.o. I am going to go the Santa route (not sure if you celebrate X-mas). We are going to do a lot of talking about Santa and toys etc. My goal is that on Christmas eve to leave cookies and all the pacis for Santa to take but in exchange lots of cool toys will come. So I hope it works but he is getting so old I have to go this route I think. Good luck to us both!!!
cut the tips off of the pacifier and then give it too her. There will be nothing left to suck. Then throw away all of them so there is no more temptaion. Take her to the store to pick out a stuffed animal or blankie to sleep with. Hopefully involving her in this will make the transition easier!
I guess I am confused as to why you gave it back when she WASN'T asking for it. I get you were going on a 9-hour car ride but I am sure you could have found other things to comfort her. When we travel far distances, we have bags for each child with a treat for each hour. It is food, coloring books, a dollar, etc. The idea actually came from my Mother-in-law who is a retired teacher.
As for the binky. Both of my children gave theirs to Santa. Seeing that Christmas is so close (dare I even say that outloud). I would wait it out and have her give them to Santa. My daughter was a bit older than yours when we did that, and my son was about the same age as your daughter. They STILL talk about giving them to Santa. I told them that he gives them to babies that need them. It went over well.
They both asked 2-4 times after the event but then it was all over.
Good Luck!
Hi V.,
All 3 of my children had paci's until almost 3. and they turned out just fine,
but this trick worked wonders with all 3,
I first got rid off of all extras until we got down to just one, I cut the very tip off with scissors and placed it back where my daughter would picked it up again, I pretended I knew nothing, upon putting it in her mouth she was so surprised, one of my kids even cried, but I just said,
oh no it is broken, yuckie, and we said bye to the pacifier, we threw it out together in the garbage, when she remembered, I would just refresh , remember we throught it in the garbage, it was "broken" yuckie,
i made sure to spend some extra cuddle time and provided a cloth or alternative to comfort them at the begining, it took about 5 days, but if it calms, soothes, i am all for it until about 2 1 /2 or so. good luck
I. C.
Well you certainly can't let her change the rules at 2 years old. Just take the paci back when she leaves her bed and tell her you'll throw it away if she doesn't stop carrying on like that. You must remain the boss or she'll take over mommy.
My daughters dentist recommended we clip the end of the binky a tiny bit and then after a week or so cutting more. Soon enough she would not want want it anymore. We were afraid to do this so I started with a safety pin hole for about 2-3 weeks and added another one close to it and then another until after a couple of months the hole was big enough that I didn't feel too guilty clipping the very tip off. That one was hard for her but she didn't protest too much. We only did one more cut and after about another month she didn't seem to have much interest in them anymore so I got rid of them and she didn't notice.
I'm not tough enough as a mom yet. I'm sure I'll get there but for this transistion I was not ready to play hardball. In the end I didn't have to and I feel like this was the easiest route.
My daughter was VERY attached to her paci. We did the paci fairy and it did the job. I talked with her for a couple of weeks about the paci fairy so that it wasn't a huge shock to her. What we did was have her collect all her paci's and put them in a box. I then had her put it outside in our backyard for the paci fairy. We then ran an errand and when we got home she looked into the box and found a special toy. I used a doll and named her. And she was only allowed to have it at bedtime and when she is upset.(that way it stays the special comfort doll and not and everyday toy) A year and a half later she will still ask for it when she upset and it gives her comfort. Now a friend of mine used the paci fairy but instead of the box she hung the paci's from a tree and put small prizes in place of them. Another idea is going to a build a bear and have her put the paci's in the bear that way there still with her. Good luck.
You've done better than me...my 38 month old still has that thing and we have no hope in sight. He does not have it out of the house, but it comforts him when he's overwhelmed or sleepy. We went whole hog to get rid ,of it but he gets so distraught. He is a very smart, funny imaginative guy. On the high-end of age appropriate, he just needs his comfort things (a plug AND a special blanket).
We started questioning our motivation for taking it from him, and we couldn't come up with anything better than social pressures or "norms". I have never believed in taking things from my kids that are safe and comfort them. The dentist says he's fine, the pediatrician reluctantly said she didn't really know why they should not have it at this age...So for now he has his plug in the house only.
Btw we did the plug fairy and selling them for a special gift thing and my kid was having NONE of it. A friend of ours has a a girl who got a tricycle for her "mimi" but after a while (10 -14 days) it started affecting the child's sleep, now they are conflicted about whether to give it back to her.
So sorry I don't have nay advice, just a little camaraderie!! Please if you have any success I'd love a tip!
Just so you know I'm not a crazy plug dependent mom, our baby spit it out at 7 mos and never took it again...each child is really different!
I just took the paci away from my son, he was 13 months. I just decided a day to do it, and I cut the tip off, then gave it to him. He would try sucking it and it didn't work, he would then throw it down on the floor in frustation. The first night was horrible, from about 5:00pm until about 11:00pm he would just walk around whining and crying. He would come to me to pick him up, I would, then he would push away, he didn't know what he wanted. The second night was better, the third night it was totally forgot about. Just be persistant, don't give it back because you can't take the whining, my husband could not take it, he was scrurring around the house to find a "working" paci. I said "I cut them all" he wanted to go to the store to get another, I said no way, I am the one who is home with him all day and all the crying and whining would of been for nothing! It is not fun, but it is not that bad!
Good Luck!
Paci fairy worked for me! It was the hardest thing I have ever done with my son to date, but it worked. "Replace" the Binky with something and have her pick it out. If you have a baby or friend in the family with a baby that your daughter can identify with explain they need Binky now and have her pack them up and put them someplace in the morning before daycare. Then before nap take them and have the gift from the Binky fairy waiting for her at nap. This will be hard for a few days, and there can be no going back so be sure you are ready and that you do take them all out of the house so you can't go back. I needed my husbands support with this and my mom is the one who took the pacies out of the house and to our friend "Baby Mia" who my son often talks about and that she has his pacies now. Also, he tells us where the special toys came from too. He is proud of it. But at the time he told me to take them all back, give them back, for just one paci...it was hard but worth it!
hi
give the baby the paci but rip a hole in it..they dont get the same sucking affect...after a week or so your baby will toss it...good luck
Hi V.,
I "second" what Diana mentioned about gradually clipping the tip of the pacifier off until it does not interest her anymore.
I weaned my son off around the same age. I talked very nicely about the binky, about how it helped him sleep,etc. Then I explained that when a child turns 2 1/2 the Binky Fairy comes. I explained the Binky Fairy comes to collect unused binkies for all the children who need them and don't have them. Since my son was able to sleep through the night and fall asleep at nap time and was almost 2 1/2 he didn't need his anymore, but other "babies" did. This way he felt like he could be a part of something grown up and was making a decision. One night we said good-bye to the binky, collected all of them in the house, and put them by the front door. That night the binkies were gone, but the Fairy brought him a very nice big boy present to take with him to bed instead.
Good luck and don't give in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't stress about it....my son is 3 1/2 and JUST gave his paci up in aug. we tried at 2 to take it away and it was a disaster--he did not sleep for more than three or fours a night for a month! we gave in and decided to ride it out. and when he gave it up, it was no big deal. he just never asked for it again and we made sure to NEVER to bring it up or ask him about it. his dentist and dr. did not have any concerns about it either.
You daughter is at the exact age that my daughters gave up their pacis. For my first daughter, it was right around Easter, so we told her that the Easter bunny was going to take her paci and give it to new babies that didn't have any pacis and that he was going to leave her a basket full of treats. We started preparing her a week or two in advance for the big event reminding her daily what was about to happen. When the big day came, she was really excited about the treats and did fine until bedtime. When she asked for the paci, we told her that it was gone and she cried hysterically. After seeing an episode of Super Nanny where the kid cried for three days straight, I was ready for a really touch time, but wouldn't you know my absolute ADDICT cried for all of 20 minutes and then went to be without it. I couldn't believe how much of a non event it turned out to be and I was so glad once it was over with. For my second daughter, we did the same thing, except that it was at xmas, so we left out for Santa next to the plate of cookies & milk. In addition to regular Santa presents, she got an extra special present from the fat, jolly fellow. Again, we had some issues at naptime & bedtime, maybe a bit toughter than my first daughter, but it wasn't too bad. The key, in my opinion, is to prepare the child a few days in advance, give a reward, and do it cold turkey. You have to actually get the darn things out of the house so that you can't cave in when they cry. Best of luck!
i can feel you my son is 29 mos and wednesday will be 2 weeks his has been gone. he had his all the time and wouldn't go to sleep without it. we had left his at home a few weeks ago when he went to grandmas to stay and she bought him a new one on saturday night and by wednesday it had a big whole in it cuz he chewed it..i ripped it off of the binky and gave it to him and he said it's broke..he threw it away and that's been that. i'm scared he's gonna bite it off and chock on the end of it. it's been hard and he asks for it at bedtime but we have this routine he says he's a big boy and i tell him big boys don't have binkys and then i ask him if his cousin whose 4 has one , his dad and pawpaws..he sais no they big boys then i asked him if andy has one and he said no mom i'm a big boy he goes right to sleep. he asks for it once a day but realizes he's a big boy and doesn't need it and i tell him how proud i am he's a big boy and that just puts the biggest smile on his face and he says mom ur proud of me for being a big boy?!?! it's so cute! i know it's hard and believe me i never thought he'd give this up but stick to it..have her throw it away and tell her she's a big girl she doesn't need it anymore! hope she gives it up soon!
The rules are the rules. She's pitching a temper tantrum and testing you to see if she's the boss or you? Explain that when she does those kinds of things that is bad and she will be punished. Whatever that might be...timeout, spanking, whatever.
My girls like to do the gagging, chocking thing too. I just have to remind them that is not acceptable and if they continue they will be punished. Screaming, crying, chocking, and gagging are temper tantrums and those are not allowed. Period. Timeouts in their room are usually the consequence but on a few occasions I've had to swat a bottom to make them snap out of it. Very few times mind you.
My neighbor talked my second into throwing her pacey away right at two years old. When she asked about it, we told her that she threw it away.
My brother-in-law cut a small hole in the tip of his sons and when Antonio asked what was wrong he explained it was broken and they needed to throw it away. Antonio threw it away and that was the end of that.
Maybe you could try that see what happens, but tricking you, crying jags with choking and gagging is just a way of manipulating you and trying to test who is boss. Don't fall for it.
