How to Explain Going to Preschool Full-time

Well, for one thing, don't ask a child a yes or no question unless you are really prepared to accept no for an answer.

Beyond that, I'd tell her, after her birthday, that she is 4 now, which means she's a big girl and she will stay at preschool until 5PM now. Try to put it as 'this is exciting'. If she doesn't go for it, then just stick with the facts: 4 year olds stay at preschool the whole day, so that they are ready for kindergarten next year.

As others have said please don't over explain it, and don't bring it up too far in advance. You will be surprised how much changes in just a few months' time at this age, especially when it comes to school and naps.
And also you should never ASK your child anything unless she actually has a choice, everything else is a decision or direction from you.
Would you like pancakes or waffles? do you want to wear the blue dress or red one? These are reasonable choices for a young child.
Do you want a shot? would you like to go to bed now? how long will you stay at daycare?
NOT choices, so don't present them as such. It will only cause grief for both of you and be very confusing for her.

Your daughter is only 3.5. She is going to mature so much over the summer and be like a different kid by September. Therefore, I wouldn't tell her. Why make her worry? When September comes be matter of fact about it and tell her that since she is now a big girl and 4 yo she will be spending the day at school. I would also let her know how lucky she is to be able to do this.

Some things you don't explain or give them choices about.
You just say "This is the way it's going to be. You get to play with your friends even longer than before!" - and leave it at that.

At that age, it's usually better for you to just make decisions and let her know when it's time to let her know. She doesn't have the experience to answer your question about napping with her friends, and she really doesn't understand the difference between half-day and all-day right now.

Try not to worry about it, and don't say anything to her until a week or two before school starts. When you do, just say, "Wow, we had so much fun this summer. Summer's almost over, and soon it will be time to go to preschool again! I can't believe it! This year is going to be super exciting because you get to stay at school a little longer." And then give her a basic idea of what her day will be like and be ready to answer any questions she has. Keep it positive and let her know you are excited.

She will be just fine.

To explain? Don't try to sugar-coat it.

Personally, I'm not a fan of asking kids questions like this (the napping with friends) when it's really not a kid's choice, it's the parent's choice. So,own it and go forward confidently. "So, we are doing a new thing for school. You will get to stay for the afternoon and play with your friends." Keep it simple. Don't explain reasons. If she asks "why?", it's just "that's how school will be for you now". Another answer, if she notices some of her friends being picked up early, is "each family does it their own way. This is what works for us."

Life is full of a lot of "this is what works for our family". :)

That said, I wouldn't even bother mentioning it until a day or so before preschool resumes. Otherwise, it's just something for her to worry about. Kids don't handle 'unknowns' very well, sometimes, esp. when it's something so far in the future. I mean, they have a hard enough time understanding something will happen 'on the weekend' much less in four months time.She may not be able to conceptualize what 'stay until 5' means. Be prepared, too, that she will need a good snack right when you pick her up and that she will be extra tired and clingy, needing your attention. Be focused primarily on her during the pick-up transition. The biggest mistake I regularly saw with my preschool families was the parents picking up kids and then standing around talking with other adult, not leaving. Kids NEED their parents attention at this time. This is when the kids will melt down; small stuff will seem big, they seem to get hurt more easily because they are already tired and wanting to connect with mom and dad. So, that's my advice: be honest, be attentive at pickups and make sure to have a healthy snack you don't mind her eating before dinner. (Oh, and that's not the time to run to the store, either. Have you seen the grocery store between 4-6? Heartbreak city.) Good luck.

It really isn't up to her, so don't make it a choice.

I agree to wait to tell her. More than a day can seem like an eternity at that age. And then I also agree to keep it simple and tell her you will go to work and she and her sibling will go to school or daycare all day now. No one will be home during the day but you will pick her up as soon as you get home. I'm sure she has friends with working moms so you just say like "suzy's and Julie's" moms. And then just answer questions like if she asks about naps. I wouldn't bring naps up right away otherwise. And it really is daycare if it's from 8-5. No school goes that long. Not even HS.

Maybe you approach it from the perspective of "now you're getting to be such a big girl! Next year you'll be able to go to school like the big kids" and talk to her about the fun parts of school (spare the agony of math class for a later time!).

Find out what this all-day preschool does and describe it a little to your daughter. For example, do they ever go on field trips? Do they have a cafeteria or lunch room? Will your daughter be bringing a lunch from home? If so, take her shopping for a new lunch box. Do the preschool kids get to do art projects, or learn about different subjects at activity centers, like nature or some simple science? Is there a class pet (a gerbil or whatever)? What do the teachers call the rest time in the 4 year old program, if there is one. They may call it quiet reading time, or quiet time, or some other name, and you'd want to use the same terminology.

Then you can say, with enthusiasm, something like "when you go to school next year you'll be a four year old, and they don't come home for naps. The four year olds get to [whatever is included in the 4 year old program] and it will be exciting!" Don't really spend much time discussing naps. Instead, focus on the pride of being 4, and talk about how much fun kindergarten will be the year after that.

After all, it's a normal progression, and kids don't usually feel like they're being kicked out of the home just because they're now old enough to attend school for a regular school day. True, your all-day program is still voluntary, but it's not that unusual for a 4 year old to spend the regular school hours at school.

I agree not to try to hint your way into gaining her approval. She'll happily turn 4 in July, you'll talk about milestones, and then September will come and she will be in a new program/new building. You'll go to the open house/orientation, and then 5 days a week will be "school days" because that's what big kids do. Usually the teachers call it "quiet time" vs. "nap time" because you can't force kids to sleep, only to lie down. Kids tend to give up naps at her age anyway, as you've seen from her progression from 3 hours to 1/2. So it doesn't matter whether she wants to nap with friends or not - so don't ask that question. It would be NICE if she liked the full day program just as it would be NICE if 2nd and 4th graders liked the 5 full days of school - but it doesn't matter because they're going anyway. Your job is to say how exciting it is and how happy you are that she will have big girl fun at school. You help her adjust to the idea of a new teacher, some new kids, but also new fun and new opportunities and new enjoyment.

I agree with the others below who say to tell her "This is how our families and a bunch of other families do it" - same as how you set bedtimes and choose the dinner menu and decide on where to go on vacation and decide on chores and allowances. It's a parent decision that you believe is absolutely the best for her.

You'll face these challenges each time your child goes through a transition - she may or may not want to grow up and move on from what is comfortable to what's next on her schedule. But the same way you transitioned her from 2 naps to 1, and soon from 1 nap to 0 (whether she goes to the new school or not), and from a crib to a toddler bed and ultimately to a big bed....this is the same process as transitioning from preschool to kindergarten, half days to full days, elementary to middle school, and so on. So the less you beg her for acceptance, the happier you all will be.

I don't tend to ask. They will always pick what they know at this age and to be with mom or dad. So I would drop it if I were you. Closer to the time, you just bring the concept up as a whole and only in positive terms. If you believe it she will too :)

You tell her she is going to daycare. School only goes to about 3 in the afternoon. You don't want to confuse her even more.

Agree with everyone saying that if the decision is made, don't try to get her to agree. It implies she needs to feel a certain way, when in fact the decision has been made.

I would encourage you to wait until far closer to the date, as this is age-appropriate for her development and ability to understand time.

I also think that however you word it, please do not say it is because she is a big girl. This imply that she has done something that makes you change her life. Little ones often don't want to be a "big kid" or "all grown up" because of all the responsibilities those imply. Their imaginations are way too active.

Just keep it simple. "Next week, we will be visiting your new classroom. I want you to see all that you will be doing there. When you start school soon, you will be going in the morning and staying for the afternoon. I will be picking you up at the end of your day. Let's go get a new school bag tomorrow."

When she gets past the first week or two she'll see everyone else laying down and going to sleep she will go to sleep too. It's a whole new world and you don't need to feel bad about this.

So many people are judgemental and they have no concept that mom's need time to be a grown up outside of their home, they need to interact with other adults, and they might even need that extra income. I know when I work outside of the home it stays cleaner, there are less chores, and I feel better overall about our income, our bills, and how much time I spend with the kids.