How to Ditch the Binky for Good!

My oldest daughter would only use her binky at night in bed. Some mornings she'd wake up and binky would be on the floor under the crib. I decided to make a big deal looking for binky under the bed after I'd have moved it across the room. We'd find it and make a big deal about how it got over there. After a few days of really having to search for binky, we couldn't find it!!!! I had a stash of binkies hidden, but refused to give in. She wimpered a bit that first night, but made it thru the night.
Good luck!

I went by the sign with my daughter got up one morning didn't give it to her before we took a little trip in the car she fussed alittle bit but it wasn't bad at all going by the sign helped.

Hi J. -

Cut a little line in the binky. The binky stops "working" the same, and amazingly, kids walk away from them. I thought my 2 1/2yr old would NEVER give his up, then my sister cut his binky, he was done with it the same day.
The best part is, it is the childs choice, which makes it easier for them.

Good luck!

I took my sons from him at 13 months. I did it cold turkey, threw away all of the pacifiers so I would not be tempted to give him one.

Gather them all up and toss them into the trash can.He will cry but find something else to occupy his time it will fade and be a thing of the past.Don't give in it's up to you mom.As for him going over to his fathers house you can explain to him what you have already choose to do and hope that he respects your wishes but since you are divorced he may not choose to follow through.

Girl, get him off it now. I hate seeing little kids older than 1 with a pacifier in their mouths. It is just a disgusting habit to begin in the first place. He is going to have to find a better outlet for his emotions. You need to get his mind off of it when he gets upset. It is nothing more than a stopper to not hear him cry. Because really, doesn't it work just like a stopper? He stops crying when you give it to him, doesn't he? Tell Dad you are going on a paci binge. During the day, do not give it to him. Not at nap time, not when he is upset... he needs to know he is a big boy and doesn't need it because it is for babies. You can give it to him at night until he is totally weaned during the day. Then start with the night time.
I have seen children as old as 4 with those things stuck in their mouths. I feel sorry for those children and for the mothers who still give in to their every whine. You can not let him rule you. You are the parent.

it is absolutely true that using a binky as a toddler will (in most cases) cause developmental issues with both speech & dentition. & I emphasis ....most cases.

Soooo, here's how one of my daycare famiies handled it: each day, in front of their daughter, they snipped a little piece off...until it was all gone. At that point, the binky was supposed to be thrown away...but they gave in & gave the "shield" part of it back to her. She sucked on this for months, just by holding it up to her face. How absolutely insane! & do you know, to this day (in school already)...she still "sucks" herself to sleep. I just hope the other kids are not making fun of her.

As for my other daycare families & with my own kids.....cold turkey. We talked about it, emphasized the "big boy" angle, explained that the ones in the store were for other children, & then together threw it away. To aid in the ability to self-soothe, I encouraged my sons to choose a fav stuffed animal to hold while falling asleep.

& it's rough, but it works. The trick with any transition is to remain firm, understanding, & most importantly-upbeat. Never let your kid see you sweat!

Both of my boys quit theirs @ about 3 yrs old.... I quit buying new ones, and when all of the others got "lost" and we were down to one... they kept really good track of that one. When they are a little older, you can talk about being a big boy or girl- and they kind of understand. One day we were in the car, talking and driving and bang- they threw the last one out the window!! We of course, had a few tears- but, just kept telling them how proud we were that they were big boys and gave them a stuffed animal or some toy as a reward!! Worked for us. It's like potty training- they're not going to quit, 'til they are ready. Hope this helps! Heather- single working mom

A friend of mine told me that during Easter she had a little talk with her daughter and told her that the Easter Bunny was coming to deliver an Easter basket, but also to take the binkies away so they can go to the babies so they can use them. Then she took and envelope and had her daughter put all the binkies in the envelope. Then they put the envelope outside of the house and the next day the bunny came and exchange the envelope of pacifiers with a basket of goodies.

She said that she made it a happy event and something to look forward to and not something to say good bye to. Also she said she threw all the pacifiers away so she wasn't tempted to give them back if her daughter started to cry for them.

Hope this helps

Our daughter had hers till age 4, when I was able to reason with her, and she threw it away herself. However, we discovered--at age 8--that she had a tongue thrust, which was caused by the pacifier being in her mouth all the time and her learning how to swallow with her mouth open. They push their tongues up against their lower front teeth to swallow, which can virtually eliminate a normal overbite, causing the need for braces. (I figured out something was wrong when I couldn't get her to close her mouth when she was chewing. She asked why she had to close her mouth to chew when she had to open it to swallow.) Our son "lost" his at age 2, but my punishment was that he never took another nap. I wish you luck, and tell your ex about the tongue thrust thing, so at least your boy will only get the thing when he sleeps.

Hi, J.. Do not stress about waiting so long. My pediatrician said that it is not a big deal until it gets closer to 3. But, I stopped my daughter at two. I just told her we were going to mail them to a little baby we knew, and then in the morning, the baby would have sent us a present in the mail. So, the next morning, there was a present in the mailbox for her. She never had a problem after that. I asked her what she wanted from the baby in return for the binkies. Good luck!

J.,

This is a tough time I know! I have always heard that the best way to do it is just for it to just disappear one day. I tried that with my daughter when she was between 1.5-2. It took a few days for her to accept, but I just told her over and over that it was just gone.........it was sort of cute how we would go around the house and look for it, and then when we did not find I would just shrug my shoulders and say, "well I guess it is gone bye bye!" You might want to substitute a blanket or small stuffed animal for that "security feeling" until he gets used to not having his binky anymore. Rocking helps too! Good luck!

P.S. Even though it might be a rough couple of days, everyone in the house has to be willing to stick to "the binky is gone" and get rid of all of them that you have out of the diaper bags, drawers, and the rest of the house. Good luck...........and no matter which way you decide to go.......remember you are the mom and you know best!

D.

I did what Karen C. did - cut a little bit off at a time. One of my daughters (18 mos. at that time) held in her teeth as long as she could until she just couldn't keep it in her mouth any longer. We did the same thing when my other daughter was 3 and she went crazy for a little while before her next few naps and bedtimes and then she never touched it again! I'd never seen her so mad, but she got over it. Best of luck to you. He will not go to kindergarten with it. She's 11 now and has no memory of that traumatic event.

First of all, don't beat yourself up about him still having the paci. Its comforting to him. One thing I saw on Supernanny & I am not sure if this has already been posted, but they gathered up all the paci's & put them in a tree & magically overnight, the paci fairy came and used his paci's for all the babies in the world. One other thing you may try is to find a friend with a baby. Usually if they see that only babies have paci's they may be more encouraged to give it up. Best of luck to you. Its hard to do!

J.,
I can say that I know what you are going through. My daughter only got her binky at nap time and bed time. And only at nap time when she was not in day care which was only Tues. and Thurs. She was almost 4 when I took her to the St. Louis Zoo to pick out a Build a Bear animal. She wanted a giraffe and I knew that the zoo had them. She did all the stuff that the Build A Bear staff asked her to do then She gave her binky a good bye kiss and put it in the giraffe. That night she cryed a little bit but she knew that I was not able to cut the giraffe open because it would ruin the stuffed animal. I showed her that she could feel the binky in the giraffe and so she fell asleep holding onto the giraffe where the binki was. To this day if she is really upset about something she will grab her giraffe and hold it. Sometimes she tries to find the binky but not all the time.
However the other day she hit her head on the giraffe and asked me what the hard thing was that was in her giraffe. She showed me where she was talking about and I told her that it was her binky. It was then that she remembered about it. She is 6 now and I have never let her 2 year old brother play with the giraffe. I was lucky that he was not a thumb sucker, nor did he like the binky. At times I think that if he would have liked it then maybe he would be a better sleeper than he is. I have yet to sleep all night more than 3 nights in a row unless I am away from home and away from him.
Good luck. I do not think that it hurts to wait a little while to get rid of the binky if he has set rules of only at bed time and nap time. You might even just not send one to your ex's and see what happens then, depending on how the two of you get along. If your ex is not willing to put a stop to letting your son have his binky only at nap and bed times. Just another thought.
Good luck.
L.

2 y/o = 1 (one. WON.)
Mom = 0 (zip. zilch. zero)
He is winning this battle, mama! He is PLAYING you like a violin!! He KNOWS how to push your buttons, melt your heart, wrap you around his little pinky and GET HIS WAY!! Enough already. Who is the boss, anyway? Or in this case - who SHOULD BE the boss? If you don't have the heart to say no to something as simple as a binky, I shutter to think what else you could cave in to because of his adorable, angelic face.

You MUST go cold turkey, however that feels right to you. Throw them out, have HIM throw them out, tell him babies elsewhere need them and make a big deal of him 'sending' them away (or giving them to someone you know with a baby) or having the Paci-Fairy come, or whatever other creative thing you come up with that you think your son will understand and embrace.

My son's pediatrician told me recently that at that age (he is 2 also), boys are unsure whether they WANT to be a big boy yet, so don't make it about that. (I called because my boy was not eating much and she said he was asserting control of what goes in his mouth. The only things they have real control over are what goes in, and how/when it comes out, so potty training could be a power-struggle as well - that's why we were on the 'big boy' subject.)

OH! Don't try doing two BIG things (in child's eyes) at once: taking binky, potty training, going from crib to toddler bed, moving, divorce, changing rooms, weaning, have another baby, etc. should all be seperate events with time in between for optimum success.

I do not recommend cutting the binkys - chilldren have been known to choke on them. Sure, it MIGHT NOT happen to your child, but WHY chance it?!

Your biggest obsticle is Dad. How often does he stay there? If he is there several times a week, it could be hard. If he visits every other weekend or so, do it the day he comes back so he has the most time to get used to NOT having it before going back to Dad's house. Then tell Dad when he picks up/you drop off that there are no more binkys.

The sooner the better. The longer you put it off, the harder it is. But you already knew that, didn't you. Best of luck wished for you! (I hope I wasn't too harsh, but it really is time. :))

The way I did it (My son still had his at naps only at 3 years old!) was I talked to my Ped in front of my son about it. Luckily he played along and told my son directly he could no longer have his pacy b/c it could start to hurt his mouth and teeth. That night at bedtime when he said, "where is my pacy?" I just said, "well, remember the Dr. said you can't have it anymore" and he ws sad and cried a little but I had my Peds words to back me up and I could just say "Sorry buddy, the Dr. said and we hav eto do what the Dr. tells us to do".

We're in a similar boat with DD...she is just over 2 and uses her binky at bedtime/naptime only. I'm preggo, so I'm not about to upset the applecart right now as sleep is priceless to me and she has a hard time sleeping without it.
BUT we have started talking more and more about how, when she is 3, the binkies will help her "pay" for a big girl thing at the store (whether it's a toy or goldfish or something she wants as it gets nearer) and I'm having her verbalize this back to me a bit. She's also getting used to the idea that her baby brother will use a "beep" (her name for it), and that "beeps" are for babies, not big girls. I figure at 3, she'll be able to understand a bit more and be part of the decision. Our old pediatrician said she didn't care if she had it until she was 10 when she slept! LOL That made me feel a bit better...

I was really convinced my son would go to kindergarten with his binky in his pocket.
I asked for help from my pediatrician and he suggested we cut off a little bit of the binky each week until it was literally gone.
My son held it between his teeth as long as he could and then he finally said it was broken and no good anymore and through it away all by himself.
I laughed at this suggestion when the Dr told me but it worked great
Try it and see
K.

Some of my kids sucked their thumb, some used pacifiers and one did neither. The ones I took pacifiers from went to the thumb then so I don't know if that's as bad or not. The last child was 3 yrs. old and loved the pacifier still so after several attempts at getting rid of it and giving in on my end, I had her throw it away in our trash compacter. She put it in herself and saw it compact it and then when she asked I told her she threw it away "remember?" and she did and that was the end of it. I'm sure it wouldn't always work like that but glad it did in her case. You might try it in the trash and either take the trash out to the road if you don't have a trash compacter or whatever works that is similar so that she is getting rid of it herself. I know she's younger than my daughter was so that may not work as well because of that either.

I just did this with my 2 year old, who was Very attached to the binkie. I cut the tip off of ALL three binkies and when he freaked out about the first one, I gave him the second...and same with the third. The fact that there was no reserve for me to go to helped because I could honestly say that was all of them and I was not tempted at all to give in. He soon realized all of them where "broken", but kept asking for them for about a week...and kept getting the broken binkies. The tantrums for them really only lasted a day, but he didn't forget about them for about a week. He's transferred his binkie love onto a blanket and I am TOTALLY okay with that!

Supernanny Jo Frost always has the "Binky Fairy" come and visit. Help your child gather up all of the binkies and put them in a basket by his bed. In the morning, the "Binky Fairy" will have come and taken all of the binkies and left him a special prize.
This works if you make it a positive event and if your ex will support you (otherwise, your son will simply get a new one when he visits Dad). A few tears occasionally result at naptime/bedtime; but keep reminding your son of the "binkie Fairy's" gift (maybe the fairy could bring him a new lovey to sleep with).
Best of luck! I only had one baby that really liked his and he gave it up at 8 months so I have no personal experience with this!
K.

Ok incase I repeat anything already mentioned I'm sorry but what worked for me and my son was that he only got it at nap or bed which I know you mentioned. when he got up he laid it on his pillow and covered it with his blankie and said "nigh nigh" and he ONLY got it in bed or if he was REALLY hurt. It's hard and trust me I know how hard it can be to look at him and say no. When his face lights up it melts your heart and then saying no breaks your heart. My son just turned 2 on friday and has been off the paci/nigh nigh for several months now. I knew I wanted him off by 2 yrs so thats why we did the bed only deal. Then he started chewing them and breaking off the tips so I had him throw it away. After crying for 30 min at nap I gave him another one. When he got up from nap that new paci was chewed up so that was it. I wasn't gonna keep replacing them. Another story I had heard on the radio was hanging them in a tree for the paci fairy or "mailing" them to little babies with no paci's or even just giving it to a friends baby because he's a big boy and then of course she can throw it away at home. Another person said they put them in a bag an buried them and had a headstone/rock that had here lies "mi-mi" There are several ways, I hope you find something that works for you!!

Hi J.,

My two kids loved their pacifier, and I got rid of it at the same age for both of them, at three; at that age, they were using it just for naps and bed time. With my older kid, It was 'cold turkey" the more you delay this things the more they will cry or will miss the pacifier. With the youngest, I make the pacifier dissappear...just dissappear when he had a tantrum, he throw his pacifier away, and since then it never came back. Before that, the little one had two pacifiers and the first one "got a hole" because was "too old". The first two days both of my kids were cranky and a little sad; they took more time to go to sleep, but was just that....After the "lost" of the pacifiers, I told them that they won't need pacifiers anymore and I gave them a little gift for their "courage" I am still amazed how my two kids forgot about it,I think I was the one who missed much more how each of my kid (at different time)looked so sweet with the pacifiers at nigh time.
In my opinion, this process should be fast and short, so the kids don't have too much time to think what happened. Believe me, both of my kids LOVED their pacifiers!
Short....sweet and "casual"!!!!
Good Luck!
Alejandra

J.,
I know this is hard. But my granddaughter was almost 4 when she finally gave hers up. When she would come for a visit I would not give it to her. And she seemed to do alright.
It was the love of her life also. I just told I did not have one for her. And we did a lot of cuddling and I let her know how much her Mimi and Papa loved her and that she did not need her binky. If you can just take his mind off of it this will help alot. My best to you and just tell Dad that there are not anymore. Maybe Dad needs to pay a little more attention to him instead of just giving into him. I don't mean to sound harsh. I am just trying to help you. I am sorry if I have offended you at all. Really I do hope the best for you. Hang in there, J.!!

Hey J.,

When I took the binky away from my son at about 20 months I actually just left the house one day without it. He asked for it and I told him I forgot it and he started to throw a little fit and then realized he wasn't going to get one and quit. When we got home he didn't even ask for one until bedtime and I just told him he was a big boy and went all day without it that he didn't need it. He asked a couple more times and I just kept talking him through it and that was about it. The next couple of day's he asked for it like at nap time but I just stayed consistent with he didnt need it and he was a big boy now and it truly was a lot easier than I ever thought it would be. Good luck!

T. Cogan
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