How to Cope When Their Is No Family Around

I'm not a single mom so I can't completely identify with you but I just wanted to give you some words of encouragement. Do whatever you have to do to take care of your kids. You're right, you have no choice if your son is sick and can't go to school. I have two kids and my husband and I work full time. It is a real problem for us when one of the kids gets sick. At least we have the luxury of trading taking days off. When I have to miss work I try to remember that the world will still turn even though I'm not at work. Any chance you could move closer to family or move family/a family member closer to you and your kids? Having support really does decrease your stress level. Perhaps you can network with other single moms or even married stay at home moms in your area to find a solution. Hang in there. You sound like a terrific mom!

Hi Frances,
I am a single mom as well. All of my family lives in either North Carolina, Maryland, or New York. My ex-husband lives in Palatine, but never volunteers to help and barely takes our son for the every-other-weekend he's supposed to. His mom did me a huge favor yesterday and watched my son for me because I had nobody else to watch him and couldn't call off of work...again. I have no family of my own here and my exes family only tolerates/is civil to me because they know that if they were nasty to me, I wouldn't let them see my son as much (only because if they disrespect me to my face, I can only imagine what they'd say behind my back!)

I can't help you with finding care for your son, but I can offer you a sympathetic ear. My six year old son and I live in Lisle, which isn't too far from Darien (he goes to school and his babysitter is in Woodridge).

Another mom made the suggestion of going to an ENT specialist, and that might be something you might want to look into, I think its excellent advice. My brother seemed to always be sick with colds, bronchitis, ear infections, and pneumonia until he had tubes put in his ears and his tonsils removed.

good luck in your search for answers on how to cope... I still havent figured that out yet!

I completely understand this. My family doesn't live extremely far away and can pitch in on occasion, but they do live 3 hours away. What I have done is make some connections. Make a post at your local church. Talk to your neighbors, talk to some of your children's friends parents, and make posts at local colleges. Check out some nanny sites (although this may be the most expensive option). There are retired people, college students, stay at home moms out there that will look after children on an occasional basis. Sick days etc. It is worth looking into and you can usually work out a reasonable price for the day. It is a good place to start. Hope it helps. Also, maybe make a post on this sight looking for someone in your neighborhood that would do sick child care on an as needed basis.

Good Luck!

This is one solution that I have considered for several years and you may want to check out. If your daughter is a fairly motivated girl she can really excel in a Charter School environment! If you want to do this for next year in the State of Wisconsin, you must login and copy the open enrollment form today, Feb. 23, 2007 and fax it before 4 PM. You can always change your mind later. This is a liscensed school out of Appleton School District, the money is provided by the State and they will issue a computer and even a monthly check for internet service. Believe me, I've done a college paper on homeschooling and they are becoming a very desirable choice for the finest colleges because they learn self-study skills earlier. You can meet other parents and line up a back up coach for days you cannot be there.And they have a program in Florida, also.http://www.connectionacademy.com/enroll/

Also, contact Homeschool Legal Defense if you have legal questions:http://www.hslda.org/docs/hshb/73/hshb7307.asp

I'm in the same boat as you (far away from family), but I will tell you one thing that helped with my daughter when she was sick "all the time" (and she was that same age!) was to get her tonsils and adenoids out. My sister also had probs with asthma when she was little, but had her adenoids out and it really helped her breathing probs!

I'm not a big advocate for any kind of surgery, but maybe a visit to a good ENT (ear/nose/throat dr.) would help you miss less days of work! I would recommend allergy testing too, if you have not already had it done- that might account for some of his illnesses as well. My husband had a surgery for "turbinates" in his nose to help with allergies/asthma and sleep apnea and he said that now that he has had that done, he never realized that he just 'could not breathe' before! His allergies are decreased and his breathing is SOOO much better- no wheezing or snoring anymore. It was a VERY minor surgery for him... might also be worth looking into.

Sounds like if you can "get him better" (so to speak!) that all 3 of you would be happier.

I know being a single mom is hard- I was one until my daughter was 5 and that was WITH family to help now and then. If you need a shoulder to lean on, you're welcome to email me at ____@____.com and if you're near enough to Elgin to make it worthwhile, I would not mind babysitting for you if you need it.

:)

Hope this helps!
Amanda
Mommy to Pixie, 6 yrs old going on 16

Hi Frances,

I have a 21 month old son. He is sick off and on too. I work, as I am a single parent, and my entire family is in Michigan. I unfortunately don't have an older child to help out though!! :) It is very difficult and is causing much stress at my job. His daddy never helps out when my son has to stay home, so all of the pressure and impact is on me.

It's also difficult in every day things. I really don't have any one to stop over so I can run errands, or anything. We have sitters, but they are only available limited times and the $$ add up quickly.

Any advice or resources you find for sick child care would be so helpful for us. Where do you live?

K.