I remember, when I was a young adult, feeling that someone else should plan special days for me. Somehow it just felt wrong for me to be in charge of "my" special day. Then I realized it is "my" special day and I wanted to have that day be a happy one for me. What better way to make the day happy then to plan it myself?
If I waited for someone else to do something special I was frequently disappointed. I also resented the person(s) that I thought should do the planning who either didn't plan or planned something that I thought they should know I wouldn't like.
Now, I make a plan. I talk about my plan with people I want included on that day and we may modify my plan or not. This way I have a sense of companionship with important people in my life for several days. I also have a sense of control over what makes me happy. I'm not relying on someone else to make me happy.
My granddaughter has enjoyed shopping with me since she was around 3. Sometimes we would shop together for a gift for me to give to her or her to give to me. Now, she's 8, she'll sometimes say she wants me to buy something. This past weekend it was flowers. I was going to buy 2 bunches for my daughter who was having a party. My granddaughter picked out 3 bunches. I reminded her that we needed just 2 but she calmly but firmly said, "no Grandma, we need 3." So we bought 3 and when we unloaded the car she said to leave the red carnations in the car because they were for me.
If you go shopping for your gift with your daughter you are teaching her about giving and you are doing it while you're sharing love. Just be sure you shop for something inexpensive that would be in her reach as she gets older and wants to shop on her own. It is not the value that's important. It's the love that goes with the gift.
I remember that when I first started planning for myself that the day seemed different and could feel sad. We've been taught to believe that someone does this for us to show their love. So I focused on my love for myself. And for Mother's day the love I shared with my daughter and now my granddaughter.
If you have any friends who are also alone, you could get together to celebrate. I wasn't a mother until I was in my 40's. I frequently celebrated special days with friends who were mothers. I appreciated being included in their family events. One year I couldn't be with my mother on Mother's Day. An older neighbor had no children and her mother was gone. We went to lunch together and had a good time.
Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. It is important to not expect something from someone else when we know that they aren't able to give us what we want. When we do want what we can't have and try to get someone else to give it to us we end up angry and unhappy. So "seize the day" and make it happy for yourself and your daughter.
Yes, you'll feel sad. You've lost a relationship. You'll miss your own mother. Let yourself feel sad. The add some happiness to the day by focusing on your daughter and doing something together that you'll both enjoy.