How to Care for One Child in Hospital and Another at Home

Hi, L.! I hope your children are well!

I know my response comes very late and I don't have much help for you; but I am hoing you can help me. If you think my questions are too personal, just let me know.

I have a five month old who has had hypoglycemia since birth. We have been in and out of the hospital and have seen up to 20 doctors about his condition. It's been a struggle to say the least for my husband and me, not to mention our daughter and everyone around us. We have had a lot of suport, but the lack of answers makes us uncertain about our sons future.

Experts are unable to determine the cause of my son's hypoglycemia. We have done every test from head to toes: MRI and ultrasound on his head, organ scans, EEG, EKG, blood tests -- including fastings, sleep test, x-rays, etc. Note that my son has more than just hypoglycemia -- a few other, maybe less serious issues, that may lend to the number of doctors he's seen. Specifically, he has seen his pedicatrician, endocrinologists, neurologists, metabolic geneticists, opthamalogists, etc.

I'm wondering how you came to the diagnosis for your son. Was he born with hypoglycemia? When did he get diagnosed? What were his symptoms?

Any insight you can provide would be so helpful. However, I understand if your hands are full and you are unable to respond.

Kind regards,
KB

Do you have a church you attend? You could ask there. I know that hospice deals with terminal situations, but perhaps they could ask their volunteers?
Also, if you haven't, ask the nurses. They may have some other ideas/avenues... or perhaps there is a volunteer service through the hospital itself. Often older adults volunteer delivering magazines, etc. to patients, or help at the info. desk... perhaps there is someone doing that who would be willing to sit with him.

My husband is retired from the Army, and I would think the Marines would have similar services. I would ask the chaplain or the family support group for your husband's unit. I was a member of Protestant Women of the Chapel and I know we would have orgainzed a rotating group of spouses to help you. Also, I have had a child in the hospital, and assuming it is local, let the nurses know I would be away from the room while I went for a meal, etc. I would also see if there are other patients in the same situation who might be willing to trade off duties. The social worker at the hospital might also be a good resource. I hope that your 4 yr old will soon improve enough to be at home.

Call the Chaplain, he should be able to help. Also do you have a good neighbor? I have had kids at my house at 5am when mom had to go in for surgery. Try your church too.
Does your daughter have a friend she could stay with while you are still at the hospital?
What about Military One Source? I don't know if they have any services but they might.
1-800-342-9647

There is a group called Operation Barnabas whose goal is to help military families at every stage of deployment. Here is a link to their contact information: http://barnabas.lcmsworldmission.org/?page_id=332. I hope you are able to work things out with them!

I don't want to sound insensitive, but do you really need to be with your 4-year-old 24 hours a day? The hospital must have some solution or suggestions for this. Could he have a semi-private room so the parents of both kids could cover for each other occasionally? I'm sure the nurses could be trusted to care for your son, but obviously they don't have time to sit and help entertain him. My son is 3 1/2 so I understand that part - you can't really trust them to be in a room alone where there are things they can get in trouble with. Somehow they need to be entertained. But you also have responsibilities you have to take care of somehow, including your own physical and mental health... and there is the larger issue of being able to spend time with both your kids.

But specifically about your daughter getting to school - can she spend some time at a friend's house, like spend the night, go to school together, etc.? I have heard lots of stories about military wives/families helping each other out while a soldier is deployed. Is there a way to tap into that resource, a spouses' group or something that you could ask for help? I'm sure you would be willing to give help to others sometime in the future when you aren't so stretched yourself.

Good luck and I hope your son's condition stabilizes so he can come home!