How to Break the Thumb Paci Habit??

Updated on June 14, 2008
E.M. asks from Louisville, KY
19 answers

ok i think i have asked this before but now im really in a pinch my daughter is 4 and still uses the paci. yes 4.... i have heard people say cut a hole in it... my daughter doesn't care at all if it has a hole and to me it just seems like a breeding ground for bacteria. anyway we have been able to go with out the paci for a weekend at a time so i know she can do it however when she doesnt have that.. shes uses her thumb. which personally i think is alot more disgusting. how do i get her to stop sucking her thumb? help she starts head start soon and i want her broken of this by then!

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone the paci has since just kinda vanished (wink) however the thumb still goes in her mouth im going to order some of that bitter no nail bite stuff. we tried thum and that was horrible. i tried it first and im clad i did it was awful it burned and i forgot and rubbed my eyes ahhhh!! i cant believe they put that in the baby aisle and say its bitter they lie! thanks again

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

As for the paci, have a "going away" party. You could have her leave them for the "Paci Fairy" or have her throw them away or tell her to send them to a baby that needs them more. Then wrap them up and send them off.

As for the thumb, my daughter was a thumb sucker in the womb. Around her 2nd birthday she wanted her fingernails painted like Grandma. I finally told her I would paint them but if she wanted to keep them pretty to show Grandma that weekend she would have to stop sucking her thumb or the polish would come off. It worked!! I had to remind her a few times the first day or 2 but she has done great since.

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

When she starts school that may be the end of it anyway.
If others make fun of her, she will quit on her own. That may or may not happen but sometimes when they start school and they see that other that they admire do not do something or they do something else, they tend to try to do that too just because someone else does it. So be patient, just tell her not to put her thumb in her mouth over and over and over and see what happens in school.

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C.D.

answers from Chattanooga on

The pacifier part is easy....just throw them away and be done with it. My daughter took one too, so I'm not completely inexperienced with that.

I am, however, 100% inexperienced with getting a child to stop sucking their thumbs. I'd say that most kids probably stop on their own. Maybe you could give her an incentive to stop. Maybe put a dollar in a jar for every day that no one sees her suck her thumb, but if she gets caught even once then the money comes out and she has to start all over. You guys could help her think of something she wants to buy with the money once she's earned enough.

I don't blame you for wanting her to stop. I had a friend when I was a child that still sucked her thumb a lot when we were 13 years old. I had a student that sucked her thumb all the time IN CLASS (she was 12), and when I'd tell her to stop...she would, but she'd always be sure to tell me that her parents both think it's fine and that they were both thumb suckers into their 20s!!! So, just be persistent without being too forceful, and hopefully over time she'll make the progress and stop!!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

Hello. I have a just turned 5 year old and I know that at 4, they are able to understand "no" and "why". I think you are just going to have to be the strong one and tell her that it is going to ruin her teeth, it is just for babies, and mommy and daddy are taking it away on ????? date. You have # more days and it is gone. In the trash. Put that stinging nail polish on her thumb, not just on the nail, all over it. Unfortunately you have waited too long and it is a habit. They say to rid those things by one so they don't form a long term habit....it is hard to do. We always give our children a deadline, we build them up to it, for example, when we wanted to potty train our son, we told him that he has one month left of diapers. On his 3rd bday they go in the trash. At the last week we counted down the days to him. On his bday he got up, threw them in the trash and that was that. Make it something that makes her feel like a big girl, talk her through it. When you do it, don't keep them around so that you can be weak when she cries. Throw them away, neither one of you can give in. She will cry and you will deal with it. It won't last long and if it does, you go from there figuring out something new. Depends how strong willed she is. I am a strong believer in trying to do things the nice way but if all else fails, we are the parents and that is the end of it, "you are too old for the paci and it is time to give it up".............or, if you need a different option....you take her to the hospital to visit the new babies, bring ALL her pacifiers in a baggie. Tell her that you are going to leave her paci's with the new babies that REALLY need them. Then, when you leave, hand them to a nice nurse and tell her that you are leaving them for the new babie's (wink, wink) and then she can throw them away. Or, you can mail them to the paci fairy........she takes it to the mailbox and have it addressed to a friend, family member, neighbor, and they throw them away. Tell her the paci fairy brings them to new babies, that is how she got hers.

Good luck,

W. M

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

Does she have someone she really looks up too? An uncle, aunt, daddy, older friend, cousin? When she chooses to put her thumb or paci in her mouth, say oh, let me get the camera so I can show ..... that you are acting like a baby! I used this tactic on my daughter when she makes really ugly mean faces, I tell her let me take a picture so I can show Jenny your ugly face! Then she stops. I would also try the paci fairy. Put ALL the pacifiers in a bag and before bed put them outside in a special place (hung from a tree, by a tree, in the flower garden, etc) Then in the morning she will find a big girl gift for her in exchange for the paci. Or you can tell her you need to take all the pacifiers to the hospital for all the new babies-or give them to another baby (outside the family) I have seen all of these methods work.

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C.W.

answers from Charlotte on

E.,

I have two children under 4 and they also love to have items in their mouths. They also want their pacifiers. For a long time they would demand the pacifiers all the time at home. And if my daughter did not have it and she was nervous she would begin to put her shirt or other items in her mouth. It takes time to break the routine. They still have their pacificers at night time. We are able to get a better nights sleep. We are working towards a goal to eliminate the pacificer. As we have used the suggestions below - we have been equipped to gut back on its use.

Sounds like she gets lots of gratification from tactile input in her mouth. It helps her to feel secure and gives her comfort. Like a mom mentioned below - try pretzels, popcorn, hard candy, gummies, and check out the website: Beyond Play - he may like the Jigglers. My children have grown alot in the last 6 months. We learned in December 2008 about Sensory Integration Disorder - which most children have a form of. As a result we have grown in understanding both children - their needs - and what they want to communicate - but don't know how to. There are still those days when I want to scream and get frustrated. Overall we have grown to have more respect and understanding with each other. I can better read my children and meet their needs.
Good luck!
C.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Girl , our oldest did the very same thing:) He never took paci till he was 23 month when his brother was born. But after that it was his best friend.We tried taking it away many times before he turned 3 . And he would start sucking his thumb(I too think that thumb is a lot worst than a paci. When I worked as a nanny, the oldest girl was 11 years old by the time he stopped, they promised to piers her ears if she stopped.She finally did). What we did, we first said that paci was only at naps/night. After couple of weeks,paci was going night night on the pillow next to our son, and after another week it got lost:(.....he asked couple of times, but that was it. He tried putting thumb in, but I would tell him every time to get it out and he also gave it up. I think at the age 4 you can reason with her more, get a toy that she really wants, go somewhere if she stops. You can definatly try that bitter stuff but if she is smart she will figure out that it can be washed off.Hope something will work for you:)

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K.T.

answers from Wilmington on

Please do not pressure her. I was a long-time thumb sucker. Eventually, she will become self-conscious when she sees that other children that she identifies with do not have those types of comfort habits. It is not harmful to her to suck her thumb but it is belittling and hurtful when Mom and Dad are harping on her all the time to stop.

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S.U.

answers from Raleigh on

First things first, get rid of the paci... not easy but doable. When my first daughter turned 3, I decided I had let it go long enough. I explained to her that, at age (fill in the blank), all children sent their paci's to the hospital for the new babies. If the babies didn't get paci's from children, they wouldn't have paci's when they were born (act sad right here). She hesitantly listened but wasn't very happy about it. We even drove up to the hospital and I 'ran it in' to the new babies to show her we were telling the truth. It was rocky for about a week, but she accepted the story and had (some) compassion for the little babies. It was much more humane that just taking it away.

The thumb is a different story. They just have to decide to stop, and they will!! My other daughter sucked her thumb until early age 5. She saw no other children sucking their thumb and it eventually started clicking. The more you try to take a thumb away, the more damage you could do. You can point out that so-n-so quit, etc. Or another friend of mine did give incentive. She asked what her child's favorite (big)toy was and promised her if she stopped sucking her thumb for one month, she could have it. She had a few setbacks but it worked overall.

Good luck!! S.

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi E.,
I was a paci sucker until I was 5 years old- no one ever took it away! My uncle got fed up and put the paci in a glass of Texas Pete. He told me I could have it if I went in there and got it- lol. I did go in after it that first time, popped that thing in my mouth and was on fire! He then put it right back in the glass, put in in the fridge, and said it was there if I wanted it. After that day, we said goodbye to the paci. He said if I started sucking my thumb, that he would put my thumb in Texas Pete and it would burn my thumb up just like my mouth. It was a little extreme, I know but it worked when nothing else had. :)

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M.B.

answers from Johnson City on

We never used a paifier but my daughter did suck her thumb. Everyone said she'd stop that after age two or so. Well, she did't and they said she'd stop when she went to school because the other kids would see to it. She went to school and there was large group of kids still sucking their thumbs generally only during story and rest time or when upset. I never figured out what to do, but she and the others just decreased it naturally over kindergarten and first grade. I guess my advice is don't sweat it. She won't be the only one and it will stop.

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A.J.

answers from Clarksville on

Well, this worked for both of my girls!!! We packed them up and put them in a box (I wrapped it in brown paper and the kids decorated it). We left them beside the bed so that the "Paci Fairy" (they both knew about the tooth fairy...and are girls and love girly stuff like fairies). The "Paci Fairy" came overnight and took the pacis. The Paci Fairy took them to give to hospitals across the state so that brand new babies had pacis. The Paci Fairy brought a $2-3 BIG Girl toy. The girls were happy and glad to get it gone. They did not suck their thumb at all so I can't help with that...

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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

Forget about it. The harder you try the more stuborn she'll get. I know it's hard for you but some kids suck until they're 7 or 8 years old. I did and there was absolutely nothing my parents could do about it. I sucked my thumb because I didn't handle the stress of my disfunctional parents very well. The more they nagged and made me feel guilty the more I needed to do it. My sister also sucked her fingers until she was 5. It's very very soothing and nothing can replace that. I think your best bet is to back off and see about making her life calmer and more soothing all around. Maybe she needs more time to herself just doing nothing in a quiet and secure environment. Also, step up the hugs and positive comments and build up her self esteem. Be positive and silly and let her know how much you adore her. The need for sucking will eventually pass on it's own.

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C.S.

answers from Nashville on

Here's the thing, you have to chose the lesser of two evils. When my middle daughter was a baby, she sucked a pacifier. This kept her from speaking until she was better than three years old!! When I made the paci disappear.... we just couldn't find it... (wink, wink) she started sucking her index finger. Of course I did not want her to suck anything, but at least she had to take her finger out of her mouth if she wanted to do anything, play eat talk etc... so I felt this was the better situation, because when she had the paci in her mouth she still had 2 hands to play and she didn't have to talk.

So, your daughter is going to be a thumb sucker.... it won't be forever because when she goes to school she won't want to be embarrased. All three of my children sucked fingers and they were done doing this anywhere from 6 to eight... when elementary school kicked in.

Don't worry, she's not going to walk down the isle with her thumb in her mouth..... it really will be ok, it is just a soothing technique and there really isn't much you can do about it, she'll grow out of it. The more you make it a big deal the more she's going to do it.

So, take away the paci and the rest will work itself out in time.

Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Louisville on

Easy fix... she's old enough to understand you. Throw them away!!! Tell her only babies use paci's, big girls don't.
There is some fingernail polish that you can put on her nails, it's also suppose to aide in fingernail bitting, that you can put on there but I'm not sure where you can get it.

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T.C.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi E.,
There is a product called Thums which is suppossed to help break a childs thumb sucking habit. I found some a while back behind the counter at a Target pharmacy. It is harmless yet very bitter tasting. You might try painting some of that on her pacifier and then on her thumb. That should break both habits rather quickly as the stuff is nasty bitter. You should be able to find it at most any pharmacy. If not, ask the Pharmacist if he/she can order some for you. I'd start with Target first as that's where I seen some. Good luck and I hope this solves your paci/thumb sucking dilemma!
T.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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S.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Take the paci away and 'loose' it..ooppss gone dont know where it went..thats what happened with my boys paci..they accidently lost theirs own their own and I never gave it back to them...specially if you know she doenst need it and is fine without it over the weekend.The thumb sucking will stop once she gets busy doing other things..but that I never had to deal with so hopefully others can help you with that..good luck..
S. B

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J.A.

answers from Goldsboro on

Hey E., I think I may be able to help with breaking the passy for you but the thumb sucking I can't help with. I sucked my thumb for 14 years. Yes, 14 years. I had a lot of emotional issues. My parents divorced when I was 4, the year right before I started school. I was seen by every doctor known to man and nothing helped, braces helped me stop finally. Now that passy, when I broke my daughter from it she was 3 then, I went to mam.com. It tells a story about a child who has a passy and the passy wants to go to the moon and live with his mombi because it's time to give up the passy. If you have any mam passies, the website is on the paper inside the packaging on the back. It was a long time ago. Anyway, I printed the story out and I read it to my daughter before and right at bedtime. She seemed to understand, when we put the passy in the window seel (sp)? she was ok with it. She did cry for it, (not all night) that night and very little the next. I just kept reminding her that he's living with his mombi with all of his brother's and sister's on the moon. The more I said that the more she understood. Like I said she did cry some that night and very little the next after that she didn't ask about it ever again. I hope this helps. Good luck. J. A.

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