How to Break Co Sleeping at 6 Weeks--- Share Your Story!!

I did CIO with my two boys, but at six or eight months. Six weeks is way too young. I would try the book The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program. Lots of good advice for helping young babies to sleep when they need to sleep.

I co-slept with my daughter and she had difficulty with naps. I never thought the two were related because at night she would fall asleep quickly and at naptime she would not. I laid down with her, I nursed her to sleep, I rubbed her back, I (and her dad) sang to her, I took a lot of walks so she could sleep in her moving stroller, I went for drives in the car when I didn't need to go anywhere, just to help her sleep. I would bring a book along and park somewhere nice and read while she slept in her carseat (If I took the carseat out of the car she would wake up). On weekends, she would nap laying on her dad's or her big sister's tummy. Sometimes I would just nap with her. Sometimes she would nap on me while I read a book. My job was making sure she got naps, and she did, all the way up to Kindergarten. Getting her to nap was not easy, but necessary. Different things worked at different ages, and on different days.

I never let her CIO. I never broke her of co-sleeping. She's 9 now, and when she wants to sleep with me, she does. We both enjoy it.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear (promise I won't give you a lecture on the joys of co-sleeping:)) but my little guy was just like your son. I didn't intend to co-sleep but after a few weeks of no one getting any sleep, I surrendered to his need to be attached to me 24-7. And he was like that for at least 9 months, not only sleeping but also he wanted me to pick him up and hold him constantly. I went back to work part time at 6 weeks and he was with his father for 5 hours, 5 days a week. My poor husband had to constantly carry him around in a baby bjorn, or he would cry and cry.... Several times we left him with my mom for a few hours, who is very good with babies, or tried to! But until he was around 9 months, he would scream and be so inconsolable that after a while, my Mom said it was too much for her and clearly he wasn't ready to be away from his parents.

They are all different, with a different set of needs, personalities, and sleeping habits, just like adults. I would get so frustrated when people would tell me, or imply, that it was my fault that my baby was as needy as he was. He was like this from day one. As a mother, you can instinctively feel the difference between crying because your baby is upset for whatever reason, and crying because they are in complete distress. I just felt in my heart that it was not right to let him get this distressed. For months, I attempted to hold him, rock him, and/or nurse him to sleep and then put him down. Looking back, there are some hilarious memories of my husband and I and the Pink Panther stealth moves we'd attempt to try not to wake him! Sometimes it would work, but much of the time he'd wake up and cry. Or he'd sleep for ten minutes and the second I raised the fork to my mouth - hoping to eat in peace for once - he'd start crying.

My one suggestion is to keep sleeping with him for now, and when he's a few months older then start to separate him from your bed again. By then hopefully he will be a little more secure in his environment. I worry that if he gets anxiety about sleep now, it may cause worse problems down the road. Then again I have never tried the CIO method and don't feel comfortable with it, so I can't give sound advice about that, but I do have friends who have done it with good results. I however am convinced that their children had very different personalities than my son. One of my friend's daughter was so mellow, at 5 mo she would sit in her stroller at a bday party and happily look around, with her mom across the room, until nodding off to sleep. Was I jealous? A little, but now that my son is 3 I miss the time that he was so attached to me.
Best of luck, Mama!
ps. Invest in a good quality carrier, like a baby bjorn, it will save your life! At first I saw the price and sneered at it, we went through 3 different styles and brands of carriers and slings until we were both about to die. Around 4 months I used a gift certificate my aunt gave me to purchase a baby bjorn and wished I had from the git-go. I had a Maya wrap but never could figure out how to use the darn thing. I kind of wish I had because I liked the idea of baby-wearing, and letting him nurse whenever, wherever. But I also recommend a carrier that goes over both shoulders, otherwise it really does start to take a toll on your muscles.

He is too young for cry it out. I would get a good warm blanket and swaddle him. and put him in the crib/bassinet. Do you have one of those little triangle shaped pillows that keeps them sort of on their side? Try that and get him all snuggled in. babys don't like it when their arms and legs are flailing around. he will learn to self sooth but he may be hungry or just need to feel like he is wrapped up tight. there is a bear I think that makes a sound like a heart beat. that may be something to try. but i like you could not handle a baby in my bed all night and then on me all day. try letting him sleep in the infant carseat. it makes them feel snug and secure and that might help.

Do you nurse him, before naps and on demand?
He's at a growth-spurt now. 6 weeks is a growth spurt in a baby.
Every 3 weeks is a growth spurt, then at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and every 3 months.

Babies this age don't know how to just self manage or put themselves to sleep.

I co-slept with my kids at night. For naps, I laid down with them on a futon, nursed, they fell asleep, then I got up and did whatever I wanted.
Then I also would put them in the crib. Naps... were very regular. I knew when they needed one and was tired.
Infants, get tired about every 2 hours after waking.
And they have a "startle reflex" (because they have no control over their appendages and reflexes at this age), and so that wakes them too. It is involuntary and developmental.

Make the room quiet and dark. Make it calm.
Babies easily get over stimulated and over-tired. Then this actually makes it harder for them to sleep.
Nurse before putting him down.
Babies, feed a LOT. AND they also do what is called "cluster feeding" which means they even feed EVERY SINGLE HOUR... because it reflects their growing and intake needs to keep up with that.

He is so young.
Babies do this.
And, sleep inability is normal and common and ALL babies wake and actually, it takes until about 2 years old, for a child... to then fall asleep and not wake during the night.

Being over-tired, makes a baby and child sleep worse.
KNOW when your baby needs a nap. KNOW his cues.
My son as a baby, napped 3 times a day for the first to second year of his life. He was very regular about it and because I knew his cues.

Babies do not have an automatic on and off switch. And their REM sleep patterns are developing and changing too. They do not sleep like older children. AND... once they hit the age of Teething and Separation Anxiety... it will affect their sleep too and they will wake during the night and naps.

Or... try swaddling him. There are "sleep sacks" which envelope the baby... so that they are cocooned. And for some babies, infants... this helps. It makes them feel safe. Like in the womb.
If you look on Amazon, they have sleep sacks. For example.

Didn't do CIO... but I DID let him cry. He'd fall asleep nursing, I'd set him down, he'd wake up and cry for 3-7 minutes, he'd sleep.

Sounds easier than it was. I stepped outside while he was crying in the beginning (first week or so...later, it was just the little smile and "sleepy tiger" as I went about my business), and read a book. He was completely safe, but the sound of crying would trigger anxiety in me, which would then translate to HIM, and then he'd be a fright and wouldn't sleep if his life depended on it.

HINT: Babies picking up on mom's (or dad's) anxiety creates one of the most demoralizing things in parenting. When you "hand them off" (grandparent, spouse, etc.) and in 5 minutes they're fast asleep and you're sobbing wanting to know what's wrong with you (ahem, if you're me). If you're lucky (like me) you have someone there to laugh at you and remind you that the baby is picking up on your stress OR the calm of the other person.

I got out of the habit of being stressed/ learned to trust MYSELF. Then I was the one who was super calm and could just smile and wink at him as I laid him down.

If I was DESPERATE for sleep/ alone time/ whatever and tried to SNEAK... he'd pick up on that, too. But if I just "plopped" him down (obviously gently, but with no sign of stress, fear, exhaustion, anxiety, etc.) he trusted all was well with the world and he might fuss a little bit (fighting sleep), but conked right out. If *I* was all anxious, he wigged out.

I imagine it would be the same thing if God Almighty appeared and started wringing his hands. There'd be pandemonium on the streets. After all, if GOD is all worried and stressed out... the rest of us are up a creek.

The single BIGGEST PARENTING TRICK I HAVE EVER LEARNED IS:

Nonchalance.

CIO didn't work for me. When my DD was three weeks old, DH wanted to let her cry and I told him to take a long walk off a short pier. At this age, they are still newborns and aren't being manipulative.

You might consider the put down/pick up method. Put him down. Pick him up if he cries. Comfort him or even just rub his belly. Put him down when he's calm. If you don't have a white noise generator, find one. The Sleep Sheep makes a heartbeat noise. Carry it around on heartbeat so it smells like you and he associates it with comfort. Then start leaving it in his crib or bassinette with him.

My DD did not generally sleep with me when she was tiny (I was afraid) but she did sleep in the pack n play bassinette right by my bed so I could literally reach in and touch her. She did so til she was about 4 months old.

The sling can be very useful for getting things done while still being close to your child. Consider finding a good carrier that won't break your back. My DD was 8 lbs and I'm not a big person, and the right sling was a godsend.

At this point, you are probably overtired yourself. If you can, get the grands to walk him around while you get a nap or a shower or a meal you eat with two hands. It will make you feel better.

If you do CIO, you must make sure he comfortably sleeps thru the night without needing to eat. This can happen as early as 3 months, but more commonly is around 6 months. NOT 6 WEEKS-which you know. Its OK to let him cry a bit when you put him down at this age, but not try to make him last all night and ignore cries at his age.

You should not be worrying about his pattern right now as being permanent. If what you're doing now, is working now, then stick with it for now. He's too young to force into anything.

I did CIO and no co sleeping with all of mine, but all of them slept with me while I was nursing for the first few weeks/months until they could be put comfortably into their own rooms all night. If you're not nursing, put him in a bassinet beside your bed if yo don't want him to get attached to sleeping with you. You can do this either way actually, I just got so exhausted I couldn't always get up and put them back in bassinets after nursing.

Also, don't sweat the naps. If he won't nap, he won't nap. These things change every few weeks, hang in there. My first had a phase at this age where she ONLY slept in the day, and never night aaaaghh it was torture, but it eventually passed. The Baby Wise pattern of sleep, eat, wake worked really well for her to get her on track when I was desperate. YOu could feed him when he wakes, let him play, and when he should be tired, leave him for a nap CONFIDENTLY, in his room, or put him in stroller for walk. If he doses off great, if not, feed him again wait longer and try again. But don't sweat it.

And Riley is totally right. Whatever you're doing as your son gets older, do it with calm confidence, and the kid will pick up your lead. We confidently, nonchalantly, walked away at bed time, ignored the little bit of crying, and voila. We knew they could sleep securely and so did they.

I would get the book healthy sleep happy child. It worked for me. My kids slept with me at night off and on for the first 4-5 months. If I couldn't get them back to sleep after the first night feeding I just put them in bed with me. At 6 weeks they slept with me a lot at night and occasionally for a nap if we were both exhausted. I also never planned to co sleep. Your child is way to young to consider the CIO method. It gets better just do whatever you can so you both get some rest. My kids are great sleepers. We follow a nap and bedtime routine consistently. Good luck

Hi M.! I completely understand all that you are saying. I just wanted to throw this out there - my first daughter was a mess. She cried non-stop (at least it felt that way) and wouldn't sleep unless I was touching her in some way until she was about 8 months old. And she was just like your son. She'd be sleeping so soundly and the minute she hit the mattress all hell would break loose! All I can say is, you may not be creating a habit at this point. Maybe he's like my daughter - she just wouldn't have it any other way. Trust me, I wanted her off of me, I wanted her to nap and be able to get something done around the house (instead of sitting on the couch, holding her while she napped) I GET it!! I will never forget the morning when she was about 8 months, and she seemed a little drowsy. I hadn't tried putting her in her crib for a few weeks at that point, because really, it wasn't working. But that morning I decided to give it a shot. I put her in her crib, she fussed for a few minutes, and then fell silent. I was waiting outside the door. I gave the silence a good 10 minutes and then quietly crept in. She was SLEEPING. IN the crib! I almost cried out of sheer happiness. Her naps were taken in the crib from that point on. I'm pretty sure we were both out of the guest room at night around that point too, I just can't remember exactly. Anyway, I guess the point of my story is don't sweat the co-sleeping right now. Some babies just need this. I know that's not what you wanted to hear! That baby I was talking about is 10 now, and what I wouldn't give for a little cuddle from her now :)

Sounds like we have different parenting ideals. =D While I sometimes wished I didn't have to, I generally enjoyed holding and rocking my daughter while she napped. I think it was an Erma Bombeck quote about how she wished she had rocked her babies more instead of worrying about the dust bunnies - they grow so fast.

I took that to heart when my daughter was needier than I anticipated. I don't think co-sleeping entered my consciousness before I had her. But it was done out of necessity.

I co-slept with my daughter, rocked her and held her through her naps (she didn't nap on her own until we got a swing when she was abotu 4 months old), and wore her in a sling most of the rest of the time (or just flat out held her).

As she grew, weeks, months, she started being able to nap on her own, to be left on her own to play to sleep on her own at night.

I was given the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and realized that my little girl just wasn't ready to be separated from me. So I kept her close. I took advantage of friends and family when they were around who wanted to hold her (because she didn't typically care who was holding her as long as someone was).

She really did "outgrow" it. Maybe, as the experts say, she learned to trust that I would always be there. Maybe she just outgrew it and wanted to be more independent.

When she was a bit older and I was ready for her to sleep in her own bed, I used a CIO method of "whatever I felt comfortable with." I started a nighttime routine and then laid her down. If she cried, I'd let her cry until I was uncomfortable with it. Then I'd go into her. It didn't take long at all (but she was also about 7 months old) before she got the hang of it.

Basically, I let my daughter lead me in how to mother her. I still do - as all moms do - I take into account her personality when I make decisions about what's best for her. Just like when I made the decision to put her in her own crib, and to swaddle and then when to stop swaddling. When to start her on solids and how to feed her those solids.

As you said - he's only 6 weeks old. All he knows right now is his needs. Not wants - NEEDS. Fulfill those needs now and my guess is you'll have a much more easy-going baby later - I did and do.