How to Become a Stay at Home Mom.........

Updated on August 24, 2009
T.C. asks from Fort Worth, TX
9 answers

I am about to have my 3rd child, I would love to quit my job and stay at home I just dont know if it is possible. My husband makes decent money but just not enough to support us for me to quit my job, I keep hearing about these online data entry jobs, but I dont know what website is true and which ones are just a scam, I am cutting out as many expenses as possible but still just cant seem to make it work yet...... any ideas on data entry jobs or online work from home jobs???? OR any tips on saving money to be able to afford this???

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

It's a very difficult decision from a financial standpoint to stay at home. You've gotten some good feedback so far. ALthough, I do have to say when looking at cutting back expenses and making a budget, be realistic. Yes, stop eating out as much....but not altogether. Sometimes you just can't cook dinner, or are tired of eating at home all the time, so put it in the budget for a few meals a month (even if it's just fast food). We're Dave Ramsey fans, and one thing he says is to give a name to every dollar you have. When doing your budget, zero it out. So start with your income each month, and work out how much everything is (including savings, car repairs, hair cuts, clothes...every little thing). When done, you should have a big zero at the bottom of the page. Also, allow some "blow money". You know that realistically, you'll want a new purse, or your husband wants a new tool (or whatever). Put whatever amount you have in your budget (even if it's only $5 a week) as "blow money" to do whatever you want with. This way you don't always feel like you never get to do anything other than pay bills. I'm 28 weeks pregnant, and I have a "cravings" budget each month. There are times when I just have to have Braum's fries and a brownie fudge sundae. I limit how often I have these, but this way I don't feel completely deprived.

The biggest thing is to be realistic. Things always look better on paper than they do in real life. It doesn't always work out exactly how you planned it (that's why you should put it in your budget to save $ each month for emergencies). I also agree to start living only on your husband's income and setting your paychecks aside in savings. I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover or Financial Peace University (go to www.daveramsey.com). It really helped us make our decision for me to stay at home last year when my son turned 1.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

T.,

ALL WORK FROM HOME DATA ENTRY JOBS ARE A SCAM!!!!! I have looked into it and hoped that it is for real, but they are not!!! A medical transcriptionist is a real, legitimate work from home job. Another work from home job is to run a daycare in your home. I don't know what kind of work you do, but is it possible to do it from home? Another suggestion is to sell things on ebay. That's about it. Please do NOT fall for these work from home online scams!! Always remember that if they require money up front, it is a scam.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

First, really make sure you can do it. It would be terrible to cut a bunch of costs and start going into debt b/c you just can't pay the monthly bills. Also, make sure you have enough to do things with the kids. It's not fun to stay home but not have enough money to go to McDonald's with them every once in a while! Ok, on to advice. Check out www.grocerygame.com and/or couponmom.com for grocery savings tips. Both sites show you the normal price of an item, then it's sale price, and then tell you to use a manufacturer coupon with the sale price to get your groceries at their rock bottom prices. I've cut our grocery bill to about $400/month for a family of 5 (mom, dad, 9, 7, and 18months). That includes cleaning supplies and diapers. Next, remember that you won't have to have as many clothes dry cleaned if you aren't working, you won't use as much gas (drivng to day care and to work and back), you won't spend as much on convenience foods (hopfully!) meaning that instead of buying a meal package because it's easy to do when you get home from work, you'll buy pasta, chicken and make your own pasta dinner. You can also try ezmeals. I haven't tried them yet (I plan to once school starts again) but they watch the seasonal sales and give you a shopping list and meal plan for the week in order to help you cut grocery costs. If you are packing kids lunches, remember it's cheaper to buy a bag of pretzels and put them into containers or zip locks yourself instead of buying pre-packaged pretzels. Make your kids lunch instead of letting them buy at school...also, go to www.daveramsey.com, check out his website and his book "Total Money Makeover", attend one of his events if you can or Financial Peace University (usually offered through a church) to see how to use your money to your advantage instead of letting it run you. He focuses on not spending more than you make, having no debt and living free!

Good luck!

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

staying at home is a life style choice. It is a wonderful choice but it can also be a hard one. you are choosing to temperarily give up some monitary things for the benifit of your children. I hope you and your husband will be both dedicated to this. I firmly believe that almost everyone can make it work to stay at home.

the first thing i would encourage you to do is to start living off of ONLY your husband's income. put your income aside for savings or to pay off debt. prove to yourselves that you CAN do this.
work on paying off your debt.
cut bills! do you need a homephone? do you need call waiting? you can get your home phone bill down to $5 or $10 a month! cut long distance (that's what a cell phone is for). cut your minutes on your cell phone, cut down to the cheapest internet option, cut down to the cheapest tv package. cancel your magazine subscriptions. do you use your gym memebership. ect . . .

STOP eating out!! you can have a steak dinner at home for the same cost of going to taco bell!! Stop buying snack food. make a grocery list and stick with it. plan your meals before you go to the store.

SET up a budget. highly recommend dave ramsey. been doing his stuff for 6 years. it really works.
start keeping track of where you spend money. it might amaze you how much you can live without and how easy it is to spend a lot of money on stuff that doesn't mater.

just an encouragement, my husband and i and our two daughters live well on under 45k. you can do this too!!

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

T.,

You're husband may very well be able to provide for you all without your income. Cut the budget as much as you can. If you have home and cell phones, you could eliminate the home phone. What about cars? If you have payments, sell a car and buy a "cash car" to get around in. If you have extended cable, you could cut that down to the bare minimum. No eating out; cook everything at home. Instead of going to the movies, get Netflix for as little as 10 dollars per month. Save on gas by walking when you can - also good for your health.

I don't know how old your children are, but if they are in a lot of activites, perhaps you could limit them as well.

Regarding getting extra work, figure out what it is you like and enjoy and have a great talent for and create your own business. Don't wait for work to come to you.

I wish you the best. I know it will all work our for you. Keep us posted.

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

One of the things to look at first is how much money you would be saving by staying home. People forget how much childcare, lunches out, commuting, etc. is spent on working. Then look at how much you can cut back at home. You may find that you don't need as much supplemental income as you think you do right now. There are a lot of different kinds of work from home businesses. Most of them will not replace the salary you now have. Once it is all on paper and you know what you need to make then start looking into your options.

Good luck. I have been a stay at home mom for 8 years and "work from home" online with a website I started with some other girls - www.BurbMom.net. It has been a lot of work, but tons of fun to be able to be there with my kids.

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

Dr Phil says data entry is a scam. I got into a lot of scams. From travel agent, selling Hoodia, grant for my business. Do not do it. It cost me thousands. Stupid me. G. W

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

A lady that seems to have it all figured out is the lady who writes the www.moneysavingmom.com blog. There are many good ideas if you search through her site.

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C.D.

answers from Dallas on

Sometimes is really is not possible for moms to stay home, but with that said, if you are willing to make some sacrifices, you should be able to do it. I congratulate you on really wanting to be at home with your children. I think that far too often, the role of motherhood is under valued in our society.

After our 2nd child we made the switch to me staying home and it was hard, but worthwhile. We had to have my husband start carrying the insurance; we had to trade in a car for a less expensive one; we got rid of cable; we didn't eat out; I watched for sales and we kept our food budget to about $450.00 per month, I didn't get my hair or nails done; we had a small Christmas; we used the library instead of buying new books; We had to juggle our bills until one of the cars was paid off (within a few months)--some families go down to one car. We found that the little things were what added up the most. We set a monthly budget and we had to stick to it. And when all of that proved to be not enough, my husband looked for a new job where he could earn more and was blessed to find something within a month that has allowed me to continue to be at home.

Wanting to be at home is a righteous desire and if you pray and ask for God's help and be willing to make some sacrifices, He can make all things possible.

Here are some good articles that might help with you planning and decision:

Mom--At Home
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&...

Mothers Employment Outside of the Home
http://institute.lds.org/manuals/eternal-marriage-student...

Family Finance:
http://www.providentliving.org/channel/0,11677,1709-1,00....

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