How do you tell hubby to get help with his anger? Who do you call? What will they really do to help. I mean he has to want it right?
Yeah, he wants to want it, or thinks he needs it. I've been there. Start with couples counseling; it will be better if he hears it from someone else!
There are plenty of people who do not feel that they have anger management issues..
I would start by calling my Primary Care Physician and asking for a reference to a therapist who specializes in anger management... I would also ask for a full physical to be done my husband to include a blood work up with testosterone levels...if the level is too high - it causes anger issues...
IF he has been taking steroids for ANY reason - that can cause anger issues...
Has he sustained any injuries to his head? If so - he might need to be looked at by a neurologist to ensure that there isn't something more serious going on...
You haven't explained a history or what his anger is like...hope this information helps
Yes, he has to want it. Unless he has a chemical imbalance. Sometimes medication is a precursor for letting someone think clearly enough to want help. Either way, he has to see a therapist to get started.
I don't know your situation, but I will add I grew up in a home filled with violence. You must be asking because the anger is affecting you and your kids. be strong, and don't let him get away with causing you all pain. My father didn't want help, and nothing would change him. I have had anger issues, while not violent, and therapy has helped me. Either way don't let you and your kids to be victims to someone elses problem.
If you have a church you go to talk with who's either the bishop, priest or what ever they may be and see what they suggest. I know through my church there are councilors that can be used. also what about the state. Here in utah there are state therapist/councilors that could help with problems like that.
If you can't find help that way I'd suggest getting a councilor yourself and talk to them about this situation. They'd be able to help get him the right councilor and maybe it wouldn't hurt to do counciling together so that he can hear from you how it's hurting you when he get so angry. Maybe that could help him open his eyes to realizing that he has a problem.
Good luck.
Well I have tried everything including divorce. My ex doesn't think his anger is really a problem. Heck the therapy didn't help because they told him he has a right to be angry, they forgot to tell him he didn't have a right to act the way he does angry...oops!
Thing is my ex said a million times he would get help but he said that because it was what I wanted to hear, not that he really believed he needed it. Until he hits rock bottom I don't hold out much help for improvement.
Oh, not sure the they you are referring to. My ex assaulted our daughter and only then did he get court ordered therapy. That was the idiot that told him he had a right to be angry. :(
Hi A.,
I'd like to suggest that you approach this from a completely different perspective. You should NOT focus on your husband. At all. you should focus on you and your kids. That's it. your husband is an adult and when and if he wants help you can support him, if you want. But that's it.
he does have to want it. And if you start focusing on helping him it won't really do much good, I'm afraid.
I would suggest YOU go talk to a counselor alone. YOU will have decisions to make for yourself and your kids. YOU do not have any decisions to make for YOUR HUSBAND. unfortunately.
However - if your husband decides HE wants to get help there are MANY things that can be done successfully. He will need a neurological work up to make sure nothing is physically wrong and then he will need therapy - either behavior to change his behaviors or psychological to get to the root of the problem and determine why he gets so angry and then deal with that. he will also have to learn different coping strategies for when he feels like things are out of control.
You telling him to get help for his anger is like him telling you to get help for answering the phone when it rings. You would think he's crazy. You don't have a problem. Of course when the phone rings you answer it. It's instinctive because that's what you learned from a young age. That's how you 'deal' with the ringing phone. That's how you solve the issue on the other end of the ringing phone. You answer it. If he doesn't want you to answer the phone then he needs to tell EVERYONE ELSE to stop calling. But, if they call OF COURSE you will answer the phone. That's what you do. See?
None of that is what you wanted to hear, and I'm sorry that you are married to a man who doesn't handle his anger correctly.
Good Luck.
depends if hes abusive you can just call the cops. call the local crisis hotline and they can tell you where to go sorry i cant help with out more info
Counseling for sure. If he wont' go right away start with yourself. Get some group support and go from there.
It sounds like you may need to get away from the situation.Is he just loud or is he violent. Has he been tested for chemical imbalances. Are you sure he's actually helping at church and not involved in extra activities. My FIL said he was helping church/ boy scouts ect when he was really cheating
When I read this, a red flag goes up! Are you talking about physically striking out kind of anger? If you are in an abusive situation, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional you need to seek help NOW! If you are talking about him having a negative, mad about everything attitude then maybe he is just overworked, underappreciated, and/or stressed out. I know that right now my husband is putting in long, stressful 12-16 hour days. This morning I had to go with him to retrieve my car. He complained the entire drive about other drivers, people/situations at work, everything. He even complained about the stop light. I just said a prayer for him, then when I got out of the car, I lightheartedly said "good by grumpy!" He said I am not grumpy, am I? I said yes you are! Then he said no I am grouchy! The difference is grumpy old men do not have much hair, grouchy old men have not lost their hair yet. We both got a chuckle out of this and he smiled. At times I think we all get to the point of being tired and stressed out then we start getting a negative attitude. That attitude can be one of anger. Look at the whole situation. Please feel free to msg. me privately if you need/want to talk more. God Bless
