How to Adjust 12Wk DS to Daycare

My daughter was 10 weeks when I returned to work. Take it from me...your son is going to be much less traumatized by this than you are! I returned to work mid-week (half-days) and used the first few days to ease myself in...I wasn't "officially" back in the office until the following Monday. I was breastfeeding her and she had only had one bottle up to that point, so it made sense not to torture me, her, or her caregivers. I found that I was still very tired and it was a great treat to go home after half a day.

I also sent a blanket or toy that had slept with us so she would be comforted by a familiar scent.

When Monday came, I was full-speed ahead. I was close enough that I would occasionally go over on my lunch break, but at some point it was conflicting with nap time, and it was just a disruption to us both. I relished my pumping breaks because I really needed a time-out from the day.

Good luck. The daycare will be understanding if you call 10 times a day for the first few days...but, I'll be honest, what they tell you will never be the right answer. Either he'll be screaming his head off (and you'll cry because he's upset)...or he'll be just fine (and you'll cry because you think he doesn't need you).

This is more about you than the baby. I mean, look at it from the perspective of he is 12 weeks old. He eats, sleeps, and needs to be changed. At this age he will not even likely notice that you have left.

Now he may be somewhat upset if he doesn't recognize your scent throughout the day, but as long as the day care meets his needs and encourages play and activity as he grows he is likely to not even worry about it. Especially when the mommy scent he has come to know comes back at some point each day.

You do not need to worry so much until he is old enough to get stranger anxiety (15 months to 3 or 4 years) and really understand that you are leaving him someplace for the day.

Even then, if the day care providers are good, they will get him engaged in play and other activities to take his mind off of the fact that you left.

The biggest hurdle for you is to realize there is the chance you will miss many of his firsts as they may (or may not) occur while he is in day care. It is a difficult thing to prepare yourself for and the first time you pick your son up and the day care provider tell you somethign he did for the first time you will likely cry all the way home that you missed it. I suggest sending a dipsosable camera and ask that they capture such moments on film (make sure to somehow label the camera as yours so you get the right one back)...

It is difficult to go back to work and put such a small child into the care of someone else knowing what you may or may not miss out on in his growth. I sympathize with you and understand. I was lucky enough with my oldest that I was able to be home with her the first 4.5 months, bet I missed out on a lot. Hence, my husband allowed me to be a SAHM with our twins.

Good Luck, and I hope that everything works out for the best!!! ;-)

I always tell parents, their children will be fine, it is the parents that really have a hard time. This will continue at every new school even college!

As long as his needs are being met, he is going to great. You on the other hand are going to have to brace yourself with a lot of photos and tissues. I had to go back to work when our daughter was 6 weeks old and even had to go out of town for an entire week, leaving my husband to totally care for her. She was at in home day care and then my husband would bring her home.. It was so hard and it was before internet and cell phones..

I suggest you totally schedule out your day and week at work so there is no time to stop and worry. Maybe you could make arrangements to call them during your lunch hour to check on him. I used to also leave a box camera with her name on it, so they could take photos every once in a while.. Most day cares will also keep a sheet with all of the info that goes on all day. Naps, diaper changes, bottles. You are going to have a good idea of how his day goes each day.

I am sending you strength.

I didn't read your other responses but here is my say. Babies are very adaptable creatures- it is only as we age that we LEARN to fear change. Your son will be just fine if you leave him all day begining with day one. You are going to have a much more difficult time and not too much will help that. I will say that with my first child I had the opportunity to work 2 days from home and that was great because I would go to work Monday and be super sad and miss my daughter but it helped a little to know that the next day I'd be with her. If you can do something like this for you, that is great. If not, you'll just have to know that over time it does get easier. Just get some waterproof mascara. Be prepared for all the people at work to ask "how is the baby" and this simple question will probably bring you tears for a bit so prepare a short but polite answer because I found that with both my children that first week was the hardest and talking about the kids just made me think about how much I missed them and I'd start to cry. So I started to be honest with people. "Thank you for asking and the baby is doing great, but the first week away from him is very hard so I'm afraid I can't go into anymore right now- ask again in a few weeks and I'll have all kinds of stories for you". Even better if you can- explain this to one person before you go back and ask them to pass it along so you don't have everyone asking you- they really mean well but I really remember that was hard. Just have someone relay that you'd really appreciate if they could wait a week. If you have a comfortable relationship with the people you work with this works well. Someone mentioned that you'll be sad to realize that you'll miss the firsts. Most daycare's will not have time to take pictures. I have my kids in an in-home day-care and I don't think she'd have time for that but we have an agreement- if the kids do something monumental- like first word/step ect. she doesn't tell me- that way when I see it, it will be the first time. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

Don't worry- your son will be just fine and you will make it too but it really is hard to leave them- not too much will make that better except time.

I would suggest to let the baby stay at daycare the full day for the first day yes it is a different place and new enviro. but the baby will adjust and so will you. Mys on started going atabout that and I was a teenage mom so I was in school it was different but he adapted and so did I. He get along great with others kids and so on and so forth i never had anycomplaints and he is five now. I placed him in school at 3 and he did great and learned so much, now he's going to kindergarten this year and he is excited. This year he went to summer school for a month so I could keep he active and play with other kids. I hope this helps.