How Soon Did You Tell?

Updated on June 24, 2011
L.P. asks from Uniontown, PA
26 answers

How soon did you tell your family/friends/work that you were pregnant? And did you wait until after you had your first ob appointment before you told anyone?

I am almost 8 weeks, and the only people who know are my husband, and my cousin/best friend. And all of you, of course! LOL

I have my first ob appt. on July 5, and we plan to tell people after that. But I'm starting to wonder why I'm waiting. My thought was that I wanted to kind of wait out most of the first trimester - or the danger zone - but I'm feeling now like that might not be necessary. I think I can keep this pregnancy under wraps until then, although my belly is starting to develop a bit... but I had a bit of a belly to begin with, so I don't think it's obvious to anyone yet, other than me. I just don't know if I need to wait to tell...

So when did you tell your family/friends/work about your pregnancy? As soon as you found out? After you got successfully through your first trimester?

And how did you tell?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your responses...

It's a little weird for me. This may seem strange, and cognitively, I know this isn't true, but deep down somewhere, I almost feel like I'm 'in trouble.' Go ahead. Laugh! But seriously... when I got pregnant with my son (who *I* planned and wanted very much), I wasn't married. So telling everyone was tough for me. My family was ecstatic about me having a baby, and I was never looked down upon for not being married, but I knew it wasn't ideal, so that made it hard for me to tell.

Now, with my very new marriage just starting to settle in, I still feel remnants of that anxiety I had with my son. Like I have to keep reminding myself that I am a grown, married woman! LOL... I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt that EVERYONE will be ecstatic, but I still feel a little anxious about telling! I know it's silly...

And I do also relish this time of just me and my husband knowing... well, and all of cyberspace, that is. LOL

I think I'm going to talk to the hubs about telling...

Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Within two weeks everyone knew. I can keep everyone else's secrets, but I am really bad with my own! The only reason why it took me two weeks was because I had t-shirts made for my parents that said Grandpa 08 and Grandma 08 as my daughter was the first grandchild. We let them open the shirts instead of actually telling them. I wanted to let them know first, and I really like the way I had decided to tell them so I kept my mouth shut. Other wise everyone would have known after I peed on the stick.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

With both I told people at 8 weeks. I was pregnant with twins the first time, so there was no hiding it by eight weeks. Then, with this pregnancy I was clearly showing at eight weeks since my twins stretched me out so badly. People had already started guessing at six weeks, so we made the forma announcement at eight weeks.

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M.P.

answers from Sacramento on

I could never keep it in, and neither could my husband - soon as we find out - we start calling everyone we know! LOL - Did that with all 4

1 mom found this helpful

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Too late, I rented a billboard in your neighborhood to share the fantastic news!!! They all already know!

Love you L., tell them after your first appt, least I would. In the event that something goes wrong, it will give them the chance to share your difficulties with you. Isn't that WHY we have friends and family anyway?

:)

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S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

I am going to have to stop reading your posts because you are going to make me want another baby!!

With my first, I was apprx 15 weeks pregnant before I even knew. Talk about feeling stupid. Cut me some slack - I had ZERO symptoms. =) So, I told everyone the day I found out!

With my second and third, I knew early. This time I knew what to expect, and boy did I have symptoms!

I waited until 12 weeks with number 2.

I told at 8 weeks with number 3. But, the only reason I did was because I felt so ill, I had to explain to my partner and coworkers what was going on. And the thing is, had something unfortunate happened, they would have been told then anyway, as I would have needed time off of work, support from friends and family, etc. So, it didn't bother me to tell.

I just told them - "I'm pregnant!!" Simple as that. What more do you have to say?!

=)

So fun L.!!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

We confirmed with the doctor before telling anyone (so excited I saw the doctor w/in 3 days of taking the home test).

So let's see if I can remember...
Sunday: took the test
Thursday: doctor
Friday: husband's twin brother (they absolutely can't keep secrets from eachother and it's actually pretty cute at nearly 40)
Friday: my parents (they were in town for the weekend) and my sisters
Sunday: his family (we had a family party)

Told my immediate supervisors around 8 weeks and the rest of the extended family and close friends found-out at my sisters wedding (11 weeks).

The rest of the world, 12 weeks and beyond!

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I told a few people right away but waited for around8 weeks to tell most of the people I worked with at the time. My boss knew and my carpool buddy knew though! ;) I told my mom like as soon as I found out, but I waited to tell my brother and stuff for a few more weeks. I think if you feel comfortable in telling, go for it. It's exciting and of course you want to share the news! Since you first OB appt. is so soon you could just wait until after that, or not...it's hard to keep a secret, especially one that's so exciting!!!

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I got pregnant in february and as soon as i found out we told a lot of people. I then miscarried a week later. it really sucked to have to go back and tell all of those people that I lost the baby. When I got pregnant again in March, we didn't tell anybody not even our families until the dr. said we were ok to tell people. (it was after week 12.) My husband was with his family in hawaii since his dad was in the hospital so he told them while he was there. My family we told when we were all together at dinner. Our close friends, we called and told. And when we got the official word, I got on facebook and posted a picture of 3 sperms swimming and it said one made it! A lot of people liked that one!
My 2nd cousin has a one year old and they put a bib on her that said I have a secret.... and on the back of her shirt it said I am going to be a big sister! it was really cute.

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

You're going to find differing opinions.

I have 5 children and 2 miscarriages. One was before my triplets, ,my third pregnancy. One was with the triplets, as they are actually surviving quads.

I have no regrets telling people as soon as I found out I was pregnant, even after I had my first miscarriage. For me I felt it was important for me to celebrate the life I had inside of me from the moment I found out and share with everyone, even if by the slightest chance tragedy happened. After all, the biggest person who would be hurt by the loss would be me, and I already knew. And when I did have those two losses, when others knew it helped me get through it better. I didn't feel so alone. I don't know what my family and friends would have done if they found out later that I was pregnant, didn't tell them and then lost the baby and they couldn't be there for me. A lot of women feel like they must wait to tell anyone to protect their feelings. I disagree. There's also other women who wait to tell because they want to enjoy the pregnancy with just them and their husband for a while first. That's up to them. But for me, I love shouting to the world that I'm pregnant from the moment I know about it! Why not celebrate with everyone?

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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A.C.

answers from Provo on

Well, I cannot keep a secret, so I told everyone as soon as I found out, which was always early. With my first 2, I found out as soon as my period was late, so it was pretty early. With baby 3, I could IMMEDIATELY tell when I was pregnant, like within days of conception I had symptoms. I had been planning and trying for #3 for a while, so as soon as I got a positive test, I had to tell. That is just me, though. Like I said, I cannot keep news to myself, it will make me crazy!

Congrats on your pregnancy!

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

My parents and his mom we told pretty much right away- never told work until through the first trimester...and told his siblings- hubby is the baby of 5- around 12 weeks so right before the first trimester was done. I definitely waited until I had my initial ultrasound and to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler to tell work & other friends. Just conscious about it as I had a friend have a loss at 13 weeks. Best wishes with your blooming belly!

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S.T.

answers from Denver on

I told immediate family at like 4-6 weeks. I tried to wait til 12 to tell my boss/colleagues, but I ended up telling at 9 just because it was causing me so much stress and anxiety. I was REALLY worried about how they would react and that I would be less valuable as an employee (they were super happy and awesome about it, but for some reason it was keeping me awake at night before I told them!) I told the rest of the world at 12 weeks. I posted the ultrasound pic and announced it on FB at 12, then EVERYONE knew. ;-) If you are anxious and want to tell, then do it! People are very weird about it. I had one girl at work tell me she couldn't believe I told everyone so soon. But it's your decision.

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X.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I waited 10 weeks. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks when I was pregnant the first time. After that when I got pregnant again I wanted to wait 12 weeks but couldn't take it LOL so I told me parents at 10 weeks.

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I told family & close friends right away....as I felt as though if something were to happen those are the ones that would comfort me anyway.

As for people at work, I told them much much later.

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T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I told family and close friends around 8 weeks, after my first ob appointment. My parents and husband knew as soon as I did!
At work, I waited 12 weeks with my first and 9 or 10 with my second.

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C.J.

answers from New York on

How exciting !!! congrats! I'm 21 weeks pregnant with my third and I announced this baby when I was 16 weeks. My first as soon as the test turned pink, and my second when I was 12 weeks.
My belly wasn't obvious either because I had left over belly from my first two :o)

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I wanted to wait until my first Trimester was over and started my second, we lived in a house full of people (band house) and I was a drinker/smoker ... when it all of a sudden stopped ppl figured it out and the beans were spilled by someone who was not a friend in a not nice manner. So, unless you have obvious tells like I did wait until you have gotten thru your first trimester and things are going well. There is nothing more heartbreaking then telling everyone too early and something not working out.

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E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Here's my thoughts (sorry if I repeat anyone):
W/ my first I told my mom (and my BF) right away. Everyone else later.

W/ my 2nd pregnancy I wanted to wait till Christmas to tell everyone (found out the week of Thanksgiving I was preggo).
I lost that baby.
No one knew I was pregnant, but the sadness and unexplainable hospital visits had to be explained. So I had to tell everyone that I was pregnant, but wasn't anymore. It was very,very hard. =...(

So w/ my 3rd pregnancy most people knew right away.
Except my co-workers who I didn't see any reason to tell because we weren't close. They just thought I was eating a lot of Twinkies. :)

So I say share your news when you're ready! :)

How? I am not very creative and have a baby crazy family...they never let me get to that point of surprise w/o jumping to the (correct) conclusion.

Congrats again!!!

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

The first 2 pregnancies I waited until the 12 week mark. I'd like to say that it's because I wanted to make sure everything was okay, but it was more because that's when I started showing ;) The 3rd time I would have like to have waited, but the second I told my guy, he was on the phone with everyone he'd ever met ;)

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi - got to run, but, quickly --
I had two miscarriages. One at 10 weeks and one at 11. I told a lot of people for the first one, and then had to relive it over and over, crying, explaining what had happened when I got the inevitable, "So, how are you and baby feeling?". I didn't tell enough for the second, because I didn't have anyone's shoulder to cry on. (well, my husband and my mom, but, I needed a few friends to know too). Figure that into your calculations. But, in the meantime -- good luck and get plenty of rest!

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

i waited to tell my coworkers because I had a miscarriage the first time at 10 weeks. Once you hit 12 weeks then tell everyone else. It is bad to tell everyone then have to turnaround and have to share bad news. make sure you are in the second trimester and share your happiness.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I always told before the pee stick was even dry. I don't see the point in waiting.

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

12 weeks and I am glad I did b/c I miscarried between #1 and #2. You won't be showing by then. If you want to tell your parents or someone close, you can, especially if you see or hear a heartbeat on early ultrasound. That way if something happens, you can decide whom and when to tell people and not have every person asking.

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think you tell whenever you personally feel comfortable telling. Some are comfortable immediately and others are not. For me, only my husband knew until after I hit 13 weeks. I wanted to get through that "critical period" before sharing the news but that is just me. Do whatever makes you happiest. Congrats.

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S.H.

answers from Spokane on

We told family and close friends after we took the home pregnancy test, at 4 weeks. :) I couldn't hide it b/c I was so flipping excited!! We waited to tell work until after I had seen my ob the first time. I also figured the people who we were telling would be the ones I would need to lean on if I did lose the baby.
We were very fortunate and got pregnant the first month we were trying. We were in CA at my sister's for the weekend, for my nephews baptism. My sis knew we were trying so she had purchased a home pregnancy test. They went to go decorate the room for the party the next day and she hands it to me and says, "you're staying here" :) I took the test but was too nervous to even look at it. I waited for hubby to get back. Took him in the bathroom and handed it to him and told him I was freaking out and couldn't look. He looked and then swooped me up and gave me a huge hug and kiss and said "congratulations, Mama". I bawled!! We went to the living room and he went up to my Mom and said "thought you might want to see this" and handed her the test. We all cried :) That was with our 1st.
We waited to try for our 2nd until hubby was hired at his current job. The day he was officially hired we started trying. The last night of his old job he went out with his buddies from work to celebrate and I took a pregnancy test and it was positive :) so I took a pic and sent it to him and said "another reason to celebrate"!! He got the text and called me right away and told me to come get him (i was his driver) b/c he wanted to see me! We told family and friends right away with the 2nd too. They all knew I'd been waiting 2 years to start trying b/c it was all hinging on the new job.

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Both kids I waited until 12 or 13 weeks. I really enjoy keeping the secret just to ourselves for a while, and also I've had so many friends have miscarriages that I wanted to get through the 1st trimester before I told anyone (granted, if I did miscarry, I of course would share it with my mom/sister I think).

With the first, I sent my parents a baby picture frame and blankie (via the mail b/c they're in another state) and asked them to open it while they were on the phone with me (though my mom opened it before that and then was immediately calling me and my hubby, though I couldn't take a phone call at that time (in an appt.). We gave my MIL a baby photo album and she immediately started crying (tears of joy).

2nd time around I got a "Big Sister in Training" tshirt for my 1st born and took a picture of her and sent it out to the family.

Good luck!

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