How Old Is Too Old - Odell,OR

There's no set age - you just have to play it by ear. When it starts feeling like a problem, it's a problem. Until it starts feeling like a problem, it's not a problem.

There was a time not too long ago when people had multiple generations in one bedroom. Stick it out as long as you can. Save, save, save!!
LBC

The kids will be fine. I agree with the others that you and hubby will probably be the ones that decide you need your own space before the kids will.

When I was growing up in a farming community, families just made do with whatever space they had. Some of the houses my cousins grew up in were incredibly small (looking at them as an adult). No one had more than one bathroom no matter how many people in the family, and everyone shared bedrooms.

I share a one-bedroom apt with my daughter who will be nine soon. One challenge is just keeping our stuff (clothes and toys) organized, because if we don't, we start having to step over it all! Under the bed storage boxes and stackable plastic storage boxes help.

I don't think there is a set age, it's a matter of what you can handle and what's good for everyone. At some point though, the lack of privacy and space is bad for everyone. Adults obviously need it and kids need it too. Speaking from experience, we lived with my in-laws for a year before we got married and between houses and again when we spent 15 months trying to sell a home-in the midst of being pregnant and having our son. So, I've been there.

For us, every time saved a lot of money and at times was a great help and a lot of fun. But the last go around, it became so tense in a small space and too many adults with too many different habits, opinions, etc that it took a tole on my health, our marriage, etc. Also, it facilitated some bad habits with our baby. He has a very hard time sleeping without me there because that's what we did for his first year. Our only private space was our bedroom, so I napped with him and got him very used to being held all the time. Don't get me wrong, I totally support co-sleeping and probably would have done it regardless, but also worry that he will have a very hard time ever getting out of our bed.

I would say, make it last as long as you can, cause the financial benefit is great, but always be aware of everyone's feelings. I always found in all instances that being in someone else's home caused me to adopt habits that weren't necessarily true to me such as eating poorly, retreating into my own space and avoiding things I shouldn't avoid, lack of communication and intimacy between my husband and I, etc. You just have to work very hard in that situation to keep your little family unit intact. But, that said, it's really a blessing when family can and will help in that way!

i think you are doing what you need to do. hang in there! i was reading some of your other posts. i think as long as you can make it work, it works. under three years old none of them will care. you are a long ways away from having to deal with older kids wanting their "space". if this is what their routine is, they will be fine - small kids thrive on routine. just keep things are predictable as possible, same routine each day, etc, and they will be fine. i would worry more about your and hubby's nerves. make sure the two of you get some space every once in awhile. you can do ANYthing you have to. it's just for a year, right?!

Well their was a time when all of the family lived on one big room. They ate, slept, worked and played together. It's possible to do for a lifetime. Of course rules regarding respect are of the up-most when living in close quarters. Even though it may not always be the easiest way, I believe if done right brings a family closer together.
Best wished on your new beginning.
C.

If youare talking about the average family and what's practical, the answer is there is no age that is too old. Some experts recommend family sleeping. I know from your other posts though that that isn't what you are asking. When CPS is looking into you, they are going by the guideline that after the first birthday, children should have their own bed and a bedroom. Also, that opposite gender cannot share a bedroomafter like age 3. The exceptions to this rule MAY be if the family is rooming together because of personal beliefs about family sleeping, but I think they still like to see the required number of rooms, regardless of where everyone sleeps.

I think as long as everyone has the opportunity to have some alone time if they need it that it would be okay for a bit longer. We house sit for my FIL several times per year and basically move to the farm and stay in one room, it's the master suite but still one room.

When J was younger we put a pack-n-play at the foot of the bed and then K slept on a toddler bed in front of the closet doors. We keep the meds and other stuff in the closet and it has a door knob protector on it but her bed across the doors gives a bit more deterrent to one of the kids opening it.

Since the kids have gotten older we still sleep in the one room but take a twin mattress out for them to crash on. Of course the roll all over the floor during the night but that room has never has anyone live in it. My MIL used a smaller bedroom with an adjoining bathroom and my FIL used the bedroom that shared that bathroom.

The house has plenty of room for us to spread out during the day and when it's bedtime it's kind of nice to be able to lay in the big bed and talk about the day and read books to everyone at the same time. We rather enjoy the camaraderie and the closeness.

But if we had to live like that day after day for months unending it would wear on the nerves quickly. I think if you guys can take time and have time for yourself for intimacy and alone time then it will help. As long as you have not worn out your welcome and everyone is getting along then stay and save money.

When my hubby got caught up in major layoffs in our town we decided to stay since his parents retired here just a couple of years before. We lost just about every thing we owned. Our vehicles, which combined had a payment of over $700 per month, the insurance was over $1000 every 6 months. But they were really nice cars.... Anyway, our house was gone, cars, credit cards, etc....

His mom bought us a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom mobile home and we put it on the family land. We eventually moved in to town due to water meter issues but we have house bigger than some of my friends. It only cost $18,000. There are other options if you are willing to adjust your thinking.

I first have to say that I think you are very brave! I commend you for making sacrifices to get yourselves back on you feet. My husband and I did this same thing when I was pregnant with #2 but we had 2 bedrooms and a second "family room" that were ours. I think it's silly that there are any rules about family sleeping arrangements. You should do what feels right to you. My guess is that the oldest may eventually cause some disruptions to the younger ones' sleeping, so maybe that is the age where this no longer makes sense.
I think the more critical issue is just plain living space. Even with our extra space I sometimes felt the walls closing in on me. Will you feel cramped in the daytime? Are your inlaws really forgiving people? Do you personally have a great relationship with them? My experience was with my own parents, and while I love them dearly and they are extremely generous and kind, I truly didn't think I was going to make it through some days. They were the ones who offered their space, and they never once suggested it wasn't a good idea anymore, but living with young children again (I gave birth half-way through our stay) really tried their patience. I ended up having to figure out how to co-parent with my own parents! My mom and I fought a lot and my siblings were critical of my relying so heavily on our parents. We did manage to save enough that we saved our house from foreclosure and are doing fine now, so I don't regret the sacrifice. I would reccommend that you make the stay as short as possible, and have an exit strategy just in case things get tense! You don't want to ruin relationships that will last a lifetime! Good luck!