How Much Sleep Does Your 3 or 4 Yr Old Get?

Much to my dismay, my 3yr old seems to have abandoned her naps too. I still require her to have quiet time every single day (while her brother naps), but she only sleeps at nap time about once a week. Her bedtime routine starts at 7:30pm (down by 8pm...but usually not asleep until 8:30pm) and she wakes up at 7am.

I think a couple other posters gave some great advice -- try moving bedtime earlier. Start bedtime routine early enough that you leave his room at 7:30 (or maybe even 7:15). Even if he won't nap, at least you'll be adding more sleep at bedtime. I know it sounds counter intuitive, but it won't make his wake time earlier.

My 3 yr old only sleeps about 8 hrs and hasn't napped in a year. As long as he doesn't seem tired he is probably getting enough. If you push the nap and he doesn't need it he will start waking up in the middle of the night and that is much worse than not napping.

My daughter is 3y 8mos. She goes to bed at 7:30 (bedtime routine starts around 7p) and gets up between 6:30-7a. She also takes a 2 hour nap everyday. So, in total, she sleeps about 13 hours a day. My 6 yo also sleeps about 12-13 hours a day. I would try to get him to bed earlier or re-introduce a nap, if possible. Sleep helps the body repair and keeps them healthier from illness.

I have found that the smarter a kid is the better and more sleep they get. Proper amounts of sleep also correlate directly to weight - less sleep equals more obese tendencies.

I have never met a child who performed at optimal levels and had good behavior who get that little sleep. I recommend that children 3 or 4 yrs old get at least 12 hours, closer to 14 is ideal.

You may think I am crazy, go right ahead. But even 5 to 12 yr olds are said to need 10 hours minimum, so your kid is losing out on brain power by getting less then that. I have over 20 years of working with kids and have dealt with sleep issues so I studied it and feel confident in what I advise.

You may want to eliminate all milk and milk products for 2 weeks and see if that helps. The majority of preschool sleep issues have been linked in a 2000 or 2001 study to hidden milk allergies where sleep issues were the only symptom.

My 3 1/2 yr old is actually asleep at like 10, 10.30 - takes her a while to wind down. Wakes at 9.15 ish ....no napping during day

My son gave up naps at 2 and went to bed around 8 and woke up between 5 and 6. When he was over tired he slept less. If I felt he needed more sleep because he was over tired I did take him on short car rides and start our bed routine a half hour earlier. This usually helped him sleep more soundly and til 6am. He is now 11 and still an early riser. Although it is alittle easier to get him to bed earlier if he is tired. Sometimes he asks. He just does not need a lot of sleep. Good Luck!

Maybe he will make up for it later like mine did -lol. I have two boys who are thirteen months apart. Neither took naps after age two. It was very hard for me because they are so close in age and shared a bedroom. Soooooo, sleep time, let alone trying to do naps, was often quite a circus. Now they are 14 and 15 years old and will sleep long past noon on weekends and days off school if I let them. The doc was never too concerned about their lack of napping, as all kids are different and did not suffer any sleep deprivation or anything like that.

I feel for you S.. My 3 yr old daughter is going thru almost the same thing. (Very active, not enough sleep) She'll do quiet time but it doesn't help with her cranky mood from 3pm until bedtime which is usually about 7-7:30p. I've tried everything--earlier bedtime, later bedtime, threats etc. It is exhausting me! I'm starting to think she will be one of those darn "high energy" people. The only other thing I can think of is he taking any type of medication? My daughter takes allergy medication (Zyrtec, Nasonex) and I wonder if it affects her sleep? Even so, it's not like I can stop giving it to her without causing issues with her allergies. Sorry, I don't have solutions.

My 4 yr old sleeps 9-7 at night and takes a 1-3PM nap so about 12 hours. Hopes this helps!

Hi S. Check with his pediatrician. Some children don't like to take naps as they get older. but if he's getting an average of 9 hours of sleep a day , that may be enough for him.

Kids are all different. Their sleep depends greatly on the amount of activity they have each day. They'll be less sleepy on low activity days than on busy days. Three parks in one day is enough to make you collapse. Don't overkill to tire him out. You could lay down with him..it would be good for both of you probably-not an all the time thing but once in a while. Put him to bed after 1 park and make sure he's well fed. That could tire him without overtiring him. Keep making him "rest" at least for and hour or so. Tell him you will come get him when the time is up and he's to stay in bed until then. Have a surprise for him when you go get him for his being a GOOD boy (not chocolate). A graham cracker or something little but special for him.

Maybe that is all the sleep your child needs. Its not a rule that children that age need 11 hours of sleep, he's not an infant. Just like an adult, some people need more sleep than others to feel rested. Also, most 3-4 yr olds I know don't take naps anymore, the occasional car ride nap or some good quite time usually does the trick. Don't stress over the amount of sleep your child is getting if he's rested, happy and active.

My oldest daughter is 3 1/2. She dropped her nap right after she turned 3, much to my chagrin as I was having #2 about 6 weeks later and was counting on that naptime to give me time with the new baby. But I digress...

At this point, she is going to bed anywhere between 8:30-9pm, although occasionally she does stay up until 10:00-10:30 for special events or outings. Normally, she is up at 8am, although sometimes that can be anytime between 7-8am.

My best response to you is this - kids are people too! And just like anyone else, they vary from person to person. So what your child needs at this age may be very different from what another child needs at the same age. My nephew is 4 1/2 and he STILL takes his nap everyday. My daughter would never go for that in a million years and she is a year younger than he is. As long as you are keeping him in somewhat of a routine and he doesn't seem to be acting out due to overtiredness, I wouldn't worry about it too terribly much. I do recall my daughter going through a phase where she wasn't getting a lot of sleep - it was when we first transitioned her to a big girl bed and made her give up her pacifier. Some nights she was still awake at 11pm! Then getting up at 6:30am!! She got passed that, though, and is now sleeping on the schedule I described above.

Hope this helps!! Parenting is hard, isn't it?!? All the things you never knew you had to worry about! : )

my 4 yr old son is exactly the same way down to car ride only naps. i asked his ped. and he didn't seem too concerned about it. he more or less was like some kids just don't need the sleep. if i suspect my son is getting overtired, i try to make sure he goes to bed early--sometimes that's been around 6pm. he'll fight it, but once he's in a pj's and we get him settled into his bed, he starts to get really drowsy. i do notice that about once a month, the lack of sleep catches up and its pretty easy to get him to bed early and he'll tend to sleep a little bit later than usual--but that period only lasts a few days.

S.,

I'm going to chime in with the others, and add it from the standpoint of a mom who's well past the 3 and 4 year old stage (my boys are 22, 20, 16 & 10). Just like a child will eat when they're hungry, they sleep when they're tired. None of my boys have ever been really long sleepers, and still aren't. It's just how some kids are wired.

I wouldn't worry about your son. He sounds okay to me.

It's different with every kid. Some need more, some need less.

My 3 year old is the same way. Won't really nap, although we have "quiet time" every day and sometimes he will snooze for an hour or so.

We cosleep with him and our 20 month old, so I know right when he falls asleep. Sometimes he gets 8, sometimes he gets 10 or 11. If we can tell he has a sleep deficit for the week, we lie down with him at 6 pm and he's usually asleep by 7. then he'll sleep to 7 or 8.

It's weird, the less sleep they get, the less they'll sleep and then you have a big problem.

I don't really have any advice, I just feel your pain.

My little guy is like yours. All I can say that we do differently is not spend as much time in his bedroom at night. We read books on the couch before bedtime. My hope is that it will eventually get his body to understand that his bed is for sleeping only. That's what they suggest with adult insomniacs, at least. We have gone through a few years of having a really whiny kid because he is so tired all of the time, but he is coming out of it. I assume you limit sweets and don't give him caffeine at his age still. Frustrating, huh?

My daughter is the same way! She will be 4 in Oct. We can put her to bed at 8, but it's always 9:30 or 10 before she sleeps. And she it up at 6:45-7 no matter what. So, 9 hours as a norm. Every once in a while, she'll still take an afternoon nap fo 30 minutes, but only about once a month. I don't like dealing with her crabiness some days, but I guess some kids just don't need as much sleep.

My three year old goes down at 7:30-8:00, but doesn't fall asleep sometimes until 9:00. He wakes up around 7:00. And he takes a 2-3 hours nap in the afternoon starting about 12:30. (So about 12 hours of sleep a day)

The book 'Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" is good. Although I didn't use the cry it out part until they were much older than suggested.

A key is being super consistent with these routines. I've missed a lot of activities because of the sleep schedule. but I do believe that sleep is important, probably because my kids were such bad sleepers until they were well over a year.

I actually put my three year old to nap in a pack and play in our master bath. It is the only room that was dark and quiet enough.

My 5 1/2 year old has the same bedtime/wake up. She doesn't take a nap, but has about an hour quiet time each day (dark room, listening to music or a book on tape). She falls asleep before her brother.

You may want to move bedtime up to 7:00 and start an hour rest time at 12:30. He will fight it, but it may pay off. They won't hardly ever admit they are tired, and if he's overtired he may not even realize it. You could also start to train him to stay in his bed until 6:00, but I think the earlier bedtime would be a good first step.

Would you consider an earlier bedtime for him? It goes against intuition to put them to bed earlier, but it worked for me.

I would say your son is getting enough hours of sleep. My son (4.5) gets about 9 hours of sleep and my 2.5 year old gets about 10.