How Much $ Should I Offer

I have a friend who transport my daughter to an activity once a week. She wouldn't take anything so I got her a gift certificate for Christmas.

I like the gas card idea. Do that once a month. for like $30.

Also, have the talk that you are relying on her for this. What will you do if her kid is sick or she is sick? Will she still be willing to make the drive?

Offer her an amount to cover 50% of the gas money.
And discuss in advance how you will handle things if her child is sick and not going to school that day.

I'm sure she doesn't expect anything.
But is is a large responsibility. And commitment.
Talk about what happens when B is sick, school is cancelled, etc.

I like the gas card idea.
And something extra at Christmas.

Definitely half her gas. If she refuses buy her a monthly gas card to use and give it to her. At holiday times remember her with something, too. And like Victoria brought up, her child may get sick and she won't be driving, you'll need a backup plan for those days.

I agree withsomeone else here that $25 is the right amount - or 50% of the gas money. AND I'd also get her a small gift from time to time. If she refuses to take money (and people do that) buy her restaurant gift cards every so often. As our Costco we can get $100 worth of gift cards to a few restaurants for $79 - a 20% savings! And the restaurants are good ones.

Keep in mind, that as your kids get older this arrangement may not work. My DD and our next door neighbor's DD were the same age and we took turns driving until the middle of 2nd grade when both girls came to dislike eachother quite a lot. You better figure out a back-up plan in the chance that this will change in the future.

We know some people who's kids carpool with other families and they give the driver $20 a week towards gas.
And for SURE discuss what will be the plan on days she can't drive (illness, ill child, appointment, family emergency, etc.) because stuff happens.
Also, be prepared for any drama that may come up between the kids (especially if they're both girls!) because that can make it awkward for you, and the other mom. In K it should be just fine, but you never know, kids may be best buddies but once they start school things can change.

Mommy:

how great that you have such a nice neighbor!!

I don't know what gas costs are in Elk Grove, Ca - so I would offer 50% of the gas for the week. While she is going that way - she's still transporting your child.

I thought Elk Grove was highly populated - aren't you right outside (well, not "RIGHT" but near San Francisco?)

Now, keep in mind, if she accepts money from you for this - she might be considered a "taxi service" by her insurance company - especially if there is an accident (God Forbid). So instead of straight up money - how about gas cards?

Good luck!!

I would give her gas $ every week :)

We actually live in Elk Grove, too. :) (In the Laguna area though, so we are pretty urban here.) We carpool to midtown a few times per week for the girls' ballet classes, and I never thought to charge my friends for it - I figure I'd have to drive there anyway, so it's no big deal.

Sometimes they watch my kids so I can run errands, or they'll watch them overnight or something. We figure it all evens out in the end. Maybe just approach your neighbor and ask if you could work something out in trade - like you could watch her child from time to time, or ask if there's anything you could help her out with.

I think the gas cards sound great. You might also do little things now and then like baking her a batch of cookies or something. And definitely a holiday gift.

She sounds nice for offering this, and you sound like a lovely person for being so concerned about showing your appreciation.

I would offer $50 a week. ($10 a day). That is what I pay for my son.

You also did not mention what your backup plan is for when the neighbor kid is sick and doesn't go to school, or when the school is closed for holiday/weather.

I brought a boy home from school his whole yr and never got a thing.
Really, only occasionally did it ever bother me, in the least.

I would have been good with an occasional $20 gas card, like once a six weeks and an occasional goody, like homemade food.

If you start giving her money every week it changes the relationship from friendly favor to obligation and it doesn't feel as well as if it's a favor.
Make sure you tell her if your child is sick or not going for some other reason. Have a back up plan. You'll be fine.

I agree with insisting on helping with gas money, even though she will already be going to the same place her time is valuable as well...on top of that maybe offer to do some babysitting 1x a month or something, if the girls/children are friends?

What a lovely neighbor! That is amazingly kind of her to offer! Like some one else mentioned, make sure you guys decide on a good way to communicate for if and when the children are sick...you are gonna need to have a back-up plan for when her child is sick, plenty of time to sort it all out!

I do the same for a girl in the neighborhood (as did my mother). I get no compensation, nor do I expect any. It's not out of my way and easy enough to get her there each day.

I would put her on your Christmas list try to be available for when she needs a favor.

I was all okay for gas cards until I read Mamazita's response. With that, I would take the child with me to the high crime area school. I think sometimes that we see bad things until we are in the midst of it. I am a teacher and know that schools can be the safest places. You will be close to her if case of emergency. I would not open that can of worms with the neighbor. Suppose you give the gas card on Monday and her child gets ill Tuesday through Friday??? What if your child become really popular and her child is a misfit? Problems!!! My vote is no.

Personally, I wouldn't want to entrust that huge responsibility to a neighbor, especially if I worked that far from home, and if I didn't have a back up plan. Do the kids play together now? Because that might and probably will change and they'll develop other friendships and then it will just be weird that they're not friends but still carpooling together.

Not that you asked, but I would most likely do the private school close to work. Easy access in an emergency and guaranteed before & after care. It's not as if the kids will be roaming the streeets. By "high crime", what do you mean, exactly?

I'd say to always be respectful of her time, make sure your child is standing and ready to get in. That says a lot about how much you respect a person.

Then I'd give her $20 per week for gas. That's a good solid number. She'd be paying more than that of course but she's going anyway. So you're just paying her for her time so to speak.

I would definitely try to estimate how much gas would cost and at least cover that. I think showing your neighbor that you are grateful and appreciate her will go a long way. Even though she would already be making the drive, it is always an extra responsibility when you take another person's kid.

i would say 20 a month. its not like this neighbor is going out of their way to get your child. but really its up to the both of you.

I transported a friends daughter to and from school I told them I wouldn't charge them anything but they paid me $150 a month to do it. It was not out of my way at all, I was already going to the school one year and the next year I drove right by it.

Is your neighbor picking up your child at your house, or will you drop your child off at her house on your way to work? If so is she feeding your child breakfast too? I'd take all that into consideration. I wouldn't give her less than $25 a week. What if her kids get sick, is she still going to take your child to school? What I'm getting at is make it worth it to her, to take your child to school, so you will have a reliable person to depend upon.