How Much Should a Three Year Old Know?

Just glad to hear you say "ex" pediatrician!! What a wacko!

I would say wait until she enters preschool. If she actually (she is likely fine!) anything she is behind on, it will be noticeable then. AND, it can be dealt with by you and the teacher. My son is 3, and he is just now doing well with potty training. He is very bright and doing many things "ahead" of schedule. That was one of the things he just didn't click with. My doctor (and me) are certainly not worried about that!! Pediatricians don't even have the schooling, to properly diagnose a child behind cognitively. What a jerk!

That person was nuts. Glad you left her. Hit the library for "what to expect, the toddler years." I found it helpful.

Basically, none of the things your ped said sound like things a three year old should definitely know, in my (non-professional) opinion.

I would not expect a three year old to be able to write any letters at their third birthday. As they approach their fourth birthday, a child who had been in preschool should probably be able to write their name, but even then, a child who can't isn't really behind. Writing your name is a skill that children should definitely have upon entering kindergarten; before that is good but not something they can ALL do.

Most kids turning 3 also can't draw a picture of mommy. At that age, a picture of a person will probably be a head with arms and/or legs coming off of it, but without a body. There may or may not be facila features.

A girl turning 3 should certainly be ready to potty train if you haven't done it already. Many girls can potty train earlier, like 2.5, but if they haven't done it by 3, it is definitely time to start. Pull ups at naptime and overnight are still very common, even at age 4 and sometimes 5.

As for the address and phone number, very few 3 year olds will know this. Many, but not all, will know this entering kindergarten. It is one of the assessment questions that kids entering kinder are asked in my city.

Go online and search for the "ages and stages questionnaire." It is a really wonderful questionnaire that covers communication, fine and gross motor skills, problem solving and more. They have different versions for different ages, so you can find one for age 36 months and see how your daughter is doing compared with basic expectations for that age. I don't have one for that age, but here are a few questions from the 33 month one:

Communication
1. Can your child identify 7 body parts (ex: point to your eyes, ears, etc)
2. Does your child speak in sentences that are three or four words long?
3. Ask your child to do one simple task (ex: put the book on the table) Does she carry out the directions correctly?
4. When looking at a book, does your child tell you what is happening (for example: barking, running, eating, or crying)? You may ask "what is the dog doing?"
5. When you ask "what is your name?" does your child say his first name or nickname?

Fine motor:
1. After your child watches you draw a line from the top of the paper to the bottom, ask her to make a line like yours. Do not let her trace yours. Does your child make a single line in a vertical direction? (it can be curvy/wiggly, doesn't have to be perfectly straight as long as it is generally vertical). Can they do the same for a horizontal line? A circle? (the circle doesn't have to close perfectly or be exactly round, but should be one major penstroke, vs a tornado-like squiggle or only a "c")

2. does your child turn pages in a book, one at a time?

Problem solving
1. when looking in the mirror, ask "Where is (child's name)?" does she point to her image in the mirror?
2. Have her watch you line up for objects, like blocks or cars, in a row. Does she copy or imitate you?
3. When you say "Say 'seven three,' " does your child repeat just the two numbers in the same order?
4. After your child draws a picture, even if it's just a scribble, does she tell you what she drew? say "tell me about your picture" to prompt her

Personal-social
1. Ask your child "are you a girl or a boy." does she answer correctly
2. Does your child use a spoon to feed herself with little spilling?
3. Does your child put on a coat, jacket or shirt by herself?

Anyway, I know this is a long answer, but I hope it helps. If you answered yes to most of those questions, you have nothing to worry about. If you didn't, you may want to talk to a professional, though from your post it sounds like your daughter is pretty much on target for her age.

Michele- are you of a different race than this doctor? Sounds like there was something about you she didnt like. She was very quick to blame everything on lazy parenting and if she is part of a larger practice you should complain to someone. I teach K and very few of them know their address, we encourage them all to learn it THAT year. Is your daughter a young three or older almost 4? That makes a difference in potty training.
Fine motor skills in a three yr old? make sure she is learning to cut with scissors and using play dough and crayons to build up her hand strength. My three kids were all very different and had different strengths but they could only scribble at that age. At this age she is on track if she knows her colors, shapes and first name, can speak in sentences and you can understand most of what she says. To prepare her for preschool: can she wash and dry her hands without help? drink from a cup without a lid? hang a jacket on a hook within her reach? Ask for help, ask for what she needs? Will she listen to a short storybook? Follow simple directions?
My kids never had potty accidents in preschool (only at home!) they take children to bathroom at regular intervals. I think preschool is great for socialization, sharing, taking turns, playing with peers, learning to follow directions, but you can teach her letters and numbers at home and to recognize her name. SO glad you changed doctors!

That doctor sounds like a wack-job. All kids are different and she should know that. Your doctor is there for MEDICAL issues not parenting ones. I've even told my own ped that I thank her for her advice but when it comes to parenting decisions I hope she won't be offended if I don't listen to a thing she says. She now only offers medical advice and we have a good working relationship.
My own daughter sounds a lot like yours and she will be 4 in the fall. And I have an infant who requires a lot of attention as well. I noticed the other day that my daughter knows more than our neighbor's kid who will be starting kindergarten in the fall and that kid has been going to preschool for two years. I would hate to hear what that doctor would say to them! My SILs kids did not know near as what you described above and she was a first grade teacher for many years. I think your doctor is expecting too much from a 3 year old and I think it's great you found a new one.

My memory is non-existent, so I can't remember what my son knew at 3 (and he's only 4 now!) but I do usually remember the check-ups. My ped was interested in how he was, not exactly what he knew. She wanted to make sure he could follow easy direction (checks his hearing and his development), that he had some interests and things he liked to do, that there was no drastic change in any of his routines/behaviors/etc. He was still in diapers and she didn't question that. I think she checked that he could count to 5, asked if he was a boy or girl (he said girl!), asked about his fine and gross motor skills. Nothing really specific or academic.

To me, a lot of those things come with exposure - kid A can recite his address b/c he has heard it a lot; kid B knows all the planets b/c they are in her favorite book; kid C knows colors b/c he plays a game with them in preschool. Knowledge and development come with experience and an inherent ability to learn. I don't think it's fair to measure a kid that young against other kids that age in a game of "do you know XX?" I'd be more concerned if my kid couldn't count to 10 after being exposed to it repeatedly, not in comparison to whether or not another kid could do it.

Baloney...I knew some second graders who didn't know their address.

Get a new doc! This one was a little out of line...it sounds like they were being thorough, but a little too rigid.

As far as pull ups...let your kid potty train at their own rate. Try taking off the pull ups and see how they do, usually pre-schools require that they are diaper free.

Your kid is only three...you can work with them on writing and tracing, but it's not like they're going to be rejected from the college of their choice! There's plenty of time to learn all those skills before kindergarten. Preschools also do some of this too.

Yes they are capable of being potty trained and knowing this info....I taught my daughter these things at 2....but I'm sure you taught your daughter some things I didn';t teach my daughter. She would say her name was Emily Riley .....and at the end recite her address and city and state, it sure was cute=) I loved she thought it was her name!
BTW I never taught her her phone number because we had no land line so now at 5 I have to teach her it...it's not that she wasnt smart enough or I was a lazy parent J. that I didnt see a use and taught her other things..
I think it's silly to judge what kids know because even in iq tests theyjudge smartness by what you are capable of learning not what you know....everyone is taught diferent things at diferent times

Updated

Yes they are capable of being potty trained and knowing this info....I taught my daughter these things at 2....but I'm sure you taught your daughter some things I didn';t teach my daughter. She would say her name was Emily Riley .....and at the end recite her address and city and state, it sure was cute=) I loved she thought it was her name!
BTW I never taught her her phone number because we had no land line so now at 5 I have to teach her it...it's not that she wasnt smart enough or I was a lazy parent J. that I didnt see a use and taught her other things..
I think it's silly to judge what kids know because even in iq tests theyjudge smartness by what you are capable of learning not what you know....everyone is taught diferent things at diferent times

Oh my goodness... sounds like your (ex)pediatrician was having a day! Hug that little 3 year old of yours and know that your little girl is absolutely perfect!!! If she already knew all the things your (ex)pediatrician asked you, there would be absolutely no reason to send her to preschool! And as for the pull ups... Many if not all of the parents I know were "speed potty training" their kids about a month of two before the start of school. That takes time. I know many moms who would have their child go potty right when they arrived at school and then again when mom/dad picked them up and back into pull ups they'd go. Potty training takes time. As far as I'm concerned, a 3 year old is supposed to be playing. Through play, they learn manners, turn-taking, how to follow directions and so much more! Hang in there. Sounds like you're doing GREAT!

Gosh my son(who's 3, also) went in for his "yearly" checkup tuesday and they don't go in that much detail. Yes I got him potty train(which he is in underwear) Note my two daughters(his older sisters) were 3 in a half almost 4 and having potty train issues.Finally they started pre-k and completely got the hang of it and knew they had to. But i think all kids learned differently at their "own pace".

His doctor goes over the basic. Can you understand him? Can people or family members understand him? Does he ask when he wants something? Those questions.

I don't remember if she asked if he knows his name,phone number etc.
He knows his name(not phone number) He knows most of his colors and some numbers.

My oldest daughter who was in kindergarten this past year came home and had to know her phone number and address and had to learn her lunch number.(This was kindergarten,not a 3 year old)

Kids pick up WAY MORE than we expected. I was afraid my girls wouldn't know much when they got in pre-k or kindergarten but they did. My daughters caught on how to write their names or how to draw certain shapes and my oldest daugher knows how to read and write everyone's name in our family.

I wouldn't worry.....just switch to a new doctor. ;)

Wow, I'm sorry you had this experience! This doctor sounds inappropriate and unprofessional, to say the least. My general understanding is that a just-turned-3-year-old should know her first name, colors, basic shapes, maybe numbers up to 10, the first letter of her first name, and be able to identify basic animals. She should probably be able to answer questions like "What's your name?" "How old are you?" "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" "Do you have any pets?" She should speak in more or less complete sentences. And that's about it.

And potty-train a 1-year-old? That's insanely out of line.

In short, I agree with M.. It sounds like there's some kind of bigotry going on. Please do change doctors. You shouldn't have to be treated this way.

Personally I do believe that by age 3, void learning disabilities, most kids are ready to be drawing and recognizing shapes, able to count and recognize the alphabet. They should know their parents full names and their address and phone number.
Mine did, so did I as a child.
I'm sure it has a lot to do with how each of us is raised.
Being a SAHM gives you so much more opportunity to teach your kids things.
But, in all reality, it will all come out in the wash. Your kid will learn it eventually and wont be wearing diapers when she's 5 most likely.

There is a huge difference between a child who has just turned three and a child who is turning four. They grow up a lot during that year.

EVERY child is different. I'd never go back to that ped again. My nephew just turned 3 years old last Saturday. He's been talking since he was 1. No joke. This kid talks and talks and talks! He says things that are so grown up that even strangers do a double take when she tells them how old he is. He can count to 20, draw a cat, recite his ABC's...in order! He knows how to use my sister's iPhone, answer, disconnect calls....plug into youtube. This kid is really a genius, in my opinion. Now, I have 4 kiddos of my own, the youngest is 14 1/2 mths old. My other 3 were late talkers, were potty trained completely by age 2, but could not do what your ped has "suggested" kids should be able to do at age 3. NONE of my kiddos went to "pre-school," and I don't believe in pre-school because I am a SAHM and it believe it is MY job to teach my children until they enter kindergarten. With that said, just read to your child, talk to your child, and constantly interact with your child in describing things, pointing to objects explaining what it is, the color, the texture, etc. You're probably already doing that so don't worry! All children develop differently...that is why I hate being a part of those so called "mommy groups," because every mother brags about what their "junior" can do making at least one mother feeling incompetent because her child cannot do it yet.

I have never met a 3 year old who knows their address and phone number. Let's be realistic. This doctor sounds horrible and is not an advocate for your child. She was critical of your parenting and that is not supporting you in moving forward and helping your child.......if in fact she really needs help.

well yes, actually a 3 yo can be fully day potty trained and is capable of knowing address and phone number, but if they dont know it, I know my kids reveiwed it in kindergarten.

so either your dr has a very weird philosophy, or she had a really crappy day dealing with some really uneducated lazy parents which are out there in amazing numbers or there is something else going on that you didn't 'mention.

you can find those What to Expect when your expecting books everywhere liibrary kids consignment, yardsales everywhere they have milestones to look for, i'm sure if you just googled it you'll find milestones for kids to know by age 3.

not saying you did but kid with pacifiers at age 3 can give the impression that they aren't developing on target.

anyhow preschool for 3 yo might cover names of colors, basic shapes, abcs and numbers to say 5. it can cover a whole lot more and you would be suprised what theycan know and do.

I"m glad though that you changed drs.

Yeah, that pediatrician sound crazy! We potty trained my son soon AFTER he was 3, so he was definitely in diapers at his 3 year check up! I dont remember what all they are supposed to be able to write, my son has always been behind in this department but, sheesh, the pediatrician never gave him a hard time about it! My son I think knew his whole name but not his address and phone number (still dont think he knows).

Dont worry about that crazy doctor. Every kid develops in their own time. Sorry that you ahd that experience.

Sounds like this pediatrician was not a good fit. At 3, my DD was training, but not trained. She is trained now, and in pull ups at night only. She knows her name, but not her address. She can trace a shape and make a figure, but up til recently, her figures had a lot of extra legs on them and no bodies, etc. There are a lot of different variables and kids have different abilities. My friend's 3 yr old can do things DD can't, but DD can do some things her friend can't. I know some people successfully train their kids (or train themselves) when the child is 2 or even younger, but it is not uncommon for a 3 to be not fully trained. I think you have made the right choice, especially since you had issue with her before.

i think your question is off target. rather than question what's going on with your child, i'd question what's going on with your pediatrician.
or better yet, don't. just get a better one.
khairete
S.

My daughter didn't know her letters and wasn't potty trained at her 3 year and the ped. said nothing about it. As for knowing her name, address and phone number, she does know her full name and my husband and my full name. I worked on this so that if she ever did get lost she could tell someone our real name besides mom and dad. I didn't bother teaching her address and phone number, didn't think about it really. When it comes to teaching kids stuff, I don't think about what their brains can or cannot handle. If she shows an interest or if there is an opportunity, I try to teach her all kinds of things. As for her letters, I have the pads that go on floor of the letters. I made it a hopscotch type game and it really helped her learn and remember. She also wants to learn to read. I figured we try it. If she starts getting frustrated, we stop. Since she is only 3, I know reading is a lot for her, but I'm not going to deter her if she shows interest.