S.P.
N.,
I am also a first time mom who had trouble breast feeding. My daughter is now 15 months old and is switched over to whole milk. She was an "insufficient suckler"; it was really difficult for her to properly latch on and stay that way in order to keep my production high enough to satisfy her. We visited lactation experts and still she was constantly eating and never satisfied, like your son, leaving us both feeling tired (and also leaving me with mastitis.) I had to supplement her, which was disheartening because it was very important to me to give her the breast milk. I made the decision to pump and it changed everything for us. I purchased a Medela Pump in Style (double pump with natural flow) which after a little while had my supply up enough to have enough milk left over to freeze for emergencies. Soon after she drank entirely from a bottle, 100% breast milk. I was told so much that breast feeding, not bottle, was best for establishing a relationship w/ my baby that the thought of it at first was so sad and made me feel a little like a failure. Like I was letting us both down. But as it turns out, it helped our relationship. The stress of not producing enough milk was relieved and made us both more comfortable (and actually helped in increase of supply.) She was getting as much food as she wanted, all breastmilk like I wanted, and as much love from a not stressed mother as as any baby could hope for. We made sure to keep feeding times quiet and special and in my opinion she has not sufferred from this at all. It also allowed her father the opportunity to share in feedings, she and her father have a wonderful bond now, too. He has also confessed that that really helped him to feel more involved and capable in his role. It was also comforting to know that if we had to have someone else feed her she wouldn't refuse it (as many babies tend to become very set in their ways after getting used to one thing!) w/o having to compromise nutrition.
As far as the cereal in the bottle goes, my mother suggested the same thing to me. I asked around, read a lot and found out from medical professionals that it wasn't such a good idea. One reason is that it may change your baby's tastes, making him have less of a taste for your plain old yummy breast milk. The other major reason being that he may end up eating less frequently than he needs to instead of that happy middle ground where you're not constantly feeding him, but he's still eating regularly. He may fill up on cereal and not be getting enough breast milk - meaning he's supposed to have a certain amount to get the nutrients contained in it, not just to be full. (I found that this amount varied from feeding to feeding, day to day and from my baby to other babies.)The last reason is that his belly isn't ready to digest the cereal yet. He probably won't be ready for 4-6 months, but he'll probably let you know.
Well, I hope I wasn't too long winded and I really hope I was able to help. My "unconventional" choice worked great for my little family. What I would hope for you, me and every other mother is to know that whatever choices you make - no matter what any book, or mothering league or anyone else tells you - you're still a good mom. You love your son. You have his best interests at heart. That is what's important, just try to find the best balance for YOUR family. Your son can still be happy and healthy and balanced, even with some compromises.
Best of Luck!!!
S.