How Much Do You Allow a Teen to Control?

wow this is a toughy, but as a parent do you want to do whats BEST for your son, or Do you want to do what will make your son happy?
Its hard to do what is BEST because they tend to hate us for it,and make us pay with worse behavior, but in the end it works out for the better.
I am all for making my kids happy to, but not to the point that are are controling my future... Until my kids are 18 they go where I go! And I will do what I will do with the BEST of intentions in mind!

You are your sons parent not his friend and who do you think they will respect more? Thats right YOU!( the parent)

Hi J., Let me for tell you who I am, I m a Mom of three children 11 9 and 3. 35 years young I minored in childhood psych.. for 5 years in college and received my special education certificate. Now that we cleared that up. Your children as I myself have been threw a lot. Every change you make right now weather it is the best for them is going to have a negative reaction from your teen. Going threw what he has had to deal with and showing angry toward you will only escalate if you move him. Since he is still 15 I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you have him speak to a counselor. I found going to the school and speaking with my sons guidance counselors to give them a heads up on what’s going on in my sons lives helps. You don’t have to do it alone. They will have a heads up on his behavior and your fears and guide him threw that’s there job.
As a reader already stated he will still hang out with the kids he wants to hang out with and moving him may just make his choices even worse. Becoming a part of his life weather he is acting up or not will help. As hard as it is to watch him with what you believe to be the wrong crowd sometimes you just have to quietly guide him away from it. Seeking help for you and your children will help all of you heal better from lives mishaps. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness it is a huge sign of strength. You and your children need a third parties point of view. Teens talk better to strangers then they do there family. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!! Chin up you can do anything you set forth to do. Showing your kids your strength as hard is it is will make them twice as strong.

Having a 17yr old, I can relate to the teenager thing. Moving and changing schools may be a good thing for your son. He may not like it at first, but he will get used to it. He may be using the divorce as an excuse to act out. Whichever way you decide to go good luck to you. Just don't let your teenage son try to run your life.

I was in a somewhat similar situation. I had just ended a three year relationship with my boyfriend and I needed a major change in my life. My daughter, who was 9 at the time, was just along for the ride, not that I didn't consult her on the house and where we were moving and all that. She still resents moving to NH from NJ but she's been happy here and has made a lot of new friends as well as gotten to do a lot of things here that she never would have been able to do in NJ.

Sometimes you just have to do what is right for you. Your kids are not going to be any happier if you stay there and are miserable. You can't be the best mother to them if you're dealing with an overflowing amount of emotional baggage. If moving away will truly help with that then perhaps it is the best decision. Your kids should probably be in therapy to deal with the divorce and all that has been happening, not for years and years but for at least six months to just help them cope with the changes ... longer if it is working for them and they want to continue.

i dont think you should move your son he is in high school and going to a new highschool in the middle of the year isnt a good idea. i have 2 teens in highschool and believe me i want to move to but cant until they graduate, hes 15 you still are in charge of his life, he is also going through the divorce you really need to work with his dad if possible to keep him on track but i think moving him away from his home school and friends is gonna be a big mistake

I 'm writing just to say God Bless u! I know it cant be easy. I have a very hard to control teen who keeps me on my toes. No matter how much freedom you give your teen you must always keep a watchful eye. Sometimes I think they can handle being in control and then mine proves me wrong so I must pull some back. i expect this push and pull will go on until adulthood .Good Luck.

First I want you to know that I am only 23. I can tell you one thing for sure that at 15 that is the age of rebellion anyway but with the extra stress of a divorce I am sure your son is pushing harder to do what he wants and what he thinks is best. No matter what you do your son is going to hang out with whatever group of people that make him feel comfortable and when you try to stop him it will only get worse. Before you try to move the children away from where they are now you should sit and talk with them about it each child individually starting with the youngest. Just get an idea of what each child feels about it but remember ultimately YOU are the boss. The decision is yours to make but as a mother you should take into consideration your chilren are going to have to start new schools and make new friends and when you do that in the middle of the year it isn't an easy thing. Just don't rush into anything because you feel it might get your son away from whoever he is hanging out with. Why don't you have his friends come to your house and you see how they are. Don't judge his friends too quickly they may not be as bad as you think they are. Good Luck with your decision.
V.