J.B.
If you try to pay her, you might actually end up with a ridiculous family fight. Maybe there is another way to re-pay her? Maybe hire a cleaning service to come in once a month for her (if she wouldn't be offended) or some sort of snow-removal company to make sure her driveway and sidewalk are always safe and accessible, or make her a really awesome photo book from shutterfly.com (or wherever)or, not to be morbid, but maybe fund a long-term care policy for her, so that waaaaay down the road, whe won't be stuck in a sub-par nursing home if she requires full-time care. I know that seems really gruesome, but each family has its own idea of what's okay and what's not, and mine's just weird enough that this would be a good gift. Yeah, reading that back to myself I'm realizing just how strange my family is... Another idea is to put a small amount aside each week, say $50-150 that you would be paying her in either a money market account, or something else easily liquid, and every quarter or 6 months or whatever, ask her if she would like to take that money that you've 'paid' into her account, or donate it (don't worry, she'd rather you have the money than a charity). If she's an animal lover and has pets, maybe purchase a pet health insurance policy for her. Or a membership to massage envy so that she can get monthly massages. Maybe something on here will spark your interest - you know her better than I could ever pretend to. I would skip the paying her cash idea though and come up with something else that she would appreciate. Magazine subscription? Wine of the month? Bowling passes? The possibilities are endless. Good luck!