How Long to Make Them Sit on the Potty

Updated on July 25, 2008
T. asks from Collegeville, PA
6 answers

I started potty training with my 3 1/2 yo DS 3 days ago and it is not going well. Until then he had been in in diapers and we had been taking him regularly but he had only peed a dozen times and never pooped. He loves to play with the toilet, flush etc. but not go. On Saturday we put him in underwear and have been taking him every 30 minutes using a timer. He has only peed in the potty about 5 times and had a lot of accidents. He will not sit for more than 30 seconds, we have tried songs, stories, books, small toys in his hands and someone always sits with him but he won't stay long enough to do anything. He uses the toilet like it is for gymnastics, trying to climb, jump, slide etc. He has hit himself in the head with this lid 4 times. How long do we make him sit each time? We are trying to get him to drink more but he does not always have to go every 30 minutes. If he pees he gets an M&M, as well as a sticker for his chart & will get a reward for 10 stickers. We do not punish for accidents. My older DS trained himself in about 2 days so this is totally unfamiliar territory. HELP he must be trained by August for school!

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So What Happened?

This is more of an update than a what happened because we are still working on using the potty, so keep the advice coming. I know he can do it b/c I had him without underwear and he ran to the potty on his own to poop but still does not want to sit. I loved the bubbles idea and that has worked the best of all so far. We are still trying to go often but have a lot of accidents. Will up date again. Thanks so much to all of you. Can't wait to hear more great ideas.

More Answers

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K.K.

answers from Erie on

Have you tried blowing bubbles??? That might get him to sit still. Honestly at this point, i might suggest having another family member step in and take over. Could Dad take a day or grandma??? He just sounds like he knows how to make you crazy and really enjoys doing that.

Also, During potty training, that is the one time you DO want them totally filled up with fluid. maybe not walking around with a sippy cup, but offering them a beverage every 15 mins or so, even just a few sipps. I bought special juice boxes for my daughter and that was the only time she was ever allowed fruit punch which she loved.

also, it was rough, but making my daughter clean up after her accidents, by herself (well she thought so anyway) was very helpful. It wasn't a punishment, but being responsible for your actions. I never yelled at her but just kept repeating, "you need to wipe up your pee pee" and handing her the rag, and sometimes even holding that hand as she wiped. Again, not done in anger but not letting them get away with anything either.

Another thought, taking away all the other fun stuff he has in that room or that floor of the house, so that the only toys, books, attention from you is centered around the potty might help. Do you see what i mean?? taking away all distractions.
I say, keep taking him every 30 mins, but don't make him sit for more than one to two minutes unless, it is at a time you are pretty sure he needs to go.
It seems this is the season for potty training there have been so many posts lately. I loved the Potty TRaining in Just One Day program that was developed for children with disablities, there is an updated version on the web, with free charts and info even if you don't purchase the program.'

Good luck T., it seems like you are doing everything right, Take a breather and keep calm through it all, it really does pass relatively quickly

2 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi T.,
I like the idea of the reward/sticker chart. (Make it easy for him to earn a reward the first time!) I didn't put my son "on the potty" regularly like you are doing with a timer every 30 minutes. When does he normally "go"? Does he usually poop in the morning? If so, try putting him on when you see him showing signs that it is about to happen (you know--maybe heading off to be alone, getting the glazed-over looking eyes, etc.) After he drinks, I think it's good to try in about a half hour but I wouldn't be trying to get him to "drink more" because he'll probably then have to go. Give him liquids with his meals, he shouldn't be walking around/drinking from a sippy all day anyway. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well, I am not sure you should force it if he doesn't want to sit. If it becomes like a punishment than you won't get any where. I know when a child reaches a certain age you begin to panic and want so badly for them to be trained. I am responding to your request because I have a 4 year old with PDD and am in the process of training her. We have been trying on and off for over 2 years. We finally had a break thru with the potty watch. I know you said you have been using a timer, and we did too. The watch is basically the same thing, but because they wear it, I think there is some sort of magic to it. You can get it from One Step Ahead an other companies on line. But it can be programmed to go off every 30, 60 or 90 minutes. It plays music and flashes lights. She knows exactly what to do when it goes off. She has been dry in underwear all day ever since we bought it. We do not have an issue with her sitting. I wish I had some advise for you, sorry. We have books and a few toys in the bathroom for her if needed. But generally, when the watch goes off she goes almost immediately after sitting. We have a long way to go because she still cannot tell me she has to go, but this is a big step. There are also free potty training classes offered at hospitals that you may want to inquire about. I know St. Mary's in Langhorne and Abbington Hospital each offer parenting classes. I took one and one thing that the instructor told me sticks in my head. It's not about the parent, it's about the child. It's their accomplishment. They control it.
Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi T.!

When I potty trained my daughter I used an egg timer. To start I set the time for every 30 minutes. Then 3 minutes to sit on the potty. She did not pee or poop every time but she did so well the first day I changed it to 45 minutes the second day. And 1 hour the 3rd day. By day 4 she remembered the "feeling" and she just started pulling down her pants and going on her own. We used a child size potty in front of the tv. We read, played, etc. She knew she couldn't get up until the buzzer went off. We did not let the training hold us back from going out. We just made sure we knew where the potty was located. I got a folding seat to carry with us. And if we were in Taret for 2 hours we would go to the potty each time the timer beeped. At 3 it is not an unreasonable expectation to be able to sit for 3 minutes. Be persistant! Good Luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Maybe you could get him a toddler potty, he could sit on it and watch TV, and it's just for him. I think kids find the adult potty intimidating.
Good luck! :]

1 mom found this helpful
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D.L.

answers from Johnstown on

My son is just over 3 years old, and my daughter is 20 months. You are still in the beginning stages of potty training though. It is very difficult in the beginning. I have been working with my son with potty training for well over a year (probably closer to 2 years lol) and he still doesnt always go. He still has accidents. It will take longer than just a few days with some kids hun. Some kids learn (or want to learn) faster than others. I no longer make my son sit on the potty for a while, I just leave the potty seat out in the living room, and let him run around either naked in the house, or just in pull ups or underware and let him go when he feels the need. If he doesnt go for a while, and it has been atleast 2+ hours since he used the potty last, I ask him if he needs to go and if he can try to go. Is your son going to Head Start, or Pre-K? Did they tell you it is a requirement that he is potty trained? I am putting my son in Head Start this fall, and they told me that he doesnt have to be fully potty trained for us to put him in. That they would work with him as well.

I would pick one or two "treats" and stick with that. Something that he absolutely loves. And he only gets it if he goes potty. Ive done that and it has greatly helped. And when I ask my son if he has to go potty, if he tells me no, and I know it has been a while since he has had an accident or gone in the potty, I ask him "do you want your (whatever treat you choose)?"(our treat is dried blueberries) and he says yes. Then I tell him he has to go pee and poop on the potty to get it. Most times he atleast goes to sit on the potty and tries... sometimes he does go, other times he cant go. If he atleast tries, but cant go, then I give him one blueberry... only one. But if he does go, then he gets about half a handful. This is what I did when we first started potty training, and it helped. I dont have to do it quite as much now though. Now, when we get excited, and do "high fives" and just act goofy, that is enough of encouragement that he needs to continue.

Hope this helps!

D. L.

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